


Here We Are Again, Like We Should've Been

by changbinz



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Texting, chan and jeongin are brothers, changlix is implied, established minchan, friendship and family heavy at times, hyunin are just. so cute, jeongbin are best friends and roommates, jeongins so silly, new years fic that came way after new years, silly boy in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 40,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29506470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changbinz/pseuds/changbinz
Summary: Changbin and Jisung's faces when they see him standing in front of them with a stranger clinging to him are worth taking a picture of to frame and hang in someone's house."I wasn't just gonna leave him alone in the bathroom," is the only explanation Jeongin offers, "Can one of you go grab him a glass of water?""Jesus Christ," Jisung says.Jeongin meets Hyunjin on a New Year's Eve party and starts his 2021 by helping him find his friends. What initially starts as the good deed that will definitely grant Jeongin good karma to last for the rest of the year turns out quite differently than expected— One minute he's helping a guy stand in a dirty club bathroom, and the next said guy is dancing in his apartment with his brother-in-law. On his birthday.Don't ask Jeongin. He doesn't know how it happened, either.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 34
Kudos: 76





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> hello! 
> 
> i started writing this fic december 2020, and it was supposed to come out dec 31st. obviously that wasn't the case. by that time it had around 8K words,and they hadn't had a proper conversation yet, so this monster happened. 
> 
> i have literally no idea where this is supposed to be set geographically speaking. i just typed things. also this is a NO covid au where 2020 was still a shitty year simply because of bad vibes. PLEASE roll with these two things i beg of u 
> 
> chapter 1 and 2 are ready and 3 is in the making. don't know when the other parts will be published and i can't make promises, but ill try to make it quick!
> 
> that being said, i hope u enjoy reading!

_ Take me back to where we all began _

_ Here we are again like we should've been _

_ Oh my lady, can I have this dance? _

_ — Infinity, AJR. _

  
  


**DEC 31ST 2020 - JAN 1ST 2021**

He was supposed to be at home. 

Usually, New Year's Eve means cozy nights with blankets tucked safely under his feet, warm mug between his hands. It means hearing his parents arguing with his brother over which shitty (yet classic) Christmas movie they'll rewatch, even if Christmas has already passed. Jeongin knows that routine like the back of his hand, and is always pleasantly excited for it when a new year comes to its end.

However, his parents had decided to take an impromptu trip somewhere else for the holiday— No Kids Allowed. Jeongin hadn't even asked if he could go, but his dad had texted him something along the lines of  _ it's like a new honeymoon for us… if you know what i mean _ anyway and he'd been rightfully disgusted. He'd decided to not even acknowledge his messages until the date their plane took off and just so he could wish them a safe flight. 

His brother had quickly arranged plans of his own, inviting his boyfriend and a couple other friends to their hometown and, therefore, their childhood home. Chan had let him know about it with a quick, brief text, and told him he could join them if he pleased. Jeongin did not want to. He loved Chan, and his boyfriend Minho was a great, funny guy, but Jeongin didn't feel like being  _ Chan's little brother  _ for the holidays, and he knew that's what everyone would see him as if he was in a room full of Chan's friends. Politely (read: a text saying  _ no u and ur friends are lame _ ), he'd declined. 

His roommate Changbin was also not going back home, and there was a wordless agreement between the two: if you find anything to do for New Year's, you invite me. Jeongin hadn't actively looked for any events, hoping they could just spend it lazing around in their tiny apartment, but his friend Jisung had texted him out of nowhere the day before New Year's Eve telling him there was a party at some club and that they should go. 

Jeongin had stared at the text for five minutes, contemplating saying  _ no thanks _ , but the implied agreement between him and Changbin had forced him to mention it to the older. 

"Jisung said there's a party at some club he knows for New Years," Jeongin had exclaimed from his bed, hoping it'd reach Changbin who was eating cold leftover pizza in their small kitchen, "I don't have any more details."

Changbin had shuffled his socked feet across their floor until he'd reached Jeongin's door frame, "Nice," he'd said around a mouthful of pizza, "We're going, then."

There hadn't been much room for discussion. So, yeah, Jeongin is supposed to be at home. Instead, he's sitting at a booth with Jisung and Changbin at a club filled to the brim with partying strangers who are way too drunk for 10pm. Jeongin had pulled out his best leather pants for the occasion, but the way his legs had started to sweat with the hot atmosphere inside the place was not sexy at all. 

"I should go get us some drinks," Changbin says, stretching his neck to try and see the bar through the bodies on the dance floor, "Anything specific you guys want?"

"A coke," Jeongin says, "I'm not putting alcohol in my body until at least 11:40."

Jisung boos him, "Boring! I'll have a beer." 

"Be right back." 

They watch as Changbin's frame gets swallowed by the dancing crowd. Jisung compares it to the wardrobe in Narnia and they spend a good five minutes talking about how Changbin is now getting drinks from a half-goat man with horns. The music is loud, so they kinda have to lean over the table every time they want to speak, but it's fine. It's some song that has been playing on the radio lately, so Jeongin mouths along the lyrics he knows and bops his head to the rhythm. 

After a bit Jisung checks his phone, quickly reading a text before standing up, "Changbin needs help with the drinks," he says, and then he leaves Jeongin alone. 

He leans back, stretching his arms in front of him and scanning the room with his eyes. There's a lot of people, and Jeongin wonders if they spend New Years like this often, or if they're first-timers like himself. By the looks of it— if the increasingly tipsy young adults throwing ass this early in the night are anything to go by— this seems to be a normal occurrence for them. Or they're very good at adapting, which Jeongin admires. It's crazy to think that he's spending the holiday with his friends, and yet somehow also with all of these strangers, too.

Soon enough the mysterious dancing crowd spits his friends back, who make their way by pushing people with their elbows. Changbin turns around each time, probably shouting  _ sorry _ , while Jisung nods along like that'll tell the people he's included in the apology. They set their drinks on the table before sliding back onto the booth and right in front of Jeongin. 

"Why do they give you just a glass?" Jisung complains, eyeing his own drink, "What happened to giving you the entire bottle?" 

"They want you to go buy more," Changbin says. He peels the wrapping off his straw and then points at Jisung with the plastic tube, "Capitalism."

"Of course it's capitalism," Jisung mumbles before taking a sip. 

Jeongin snorts at the exchange. He pulls his own straw out of the wrapper, too, and lets it sink in his glass of coke. 

"How are your parents doing?" Jisung asks him, "They're travelling, right?"

"Yeah, their flight took off like an hour ago," Jeongin says, "They'll probably get there right before midnight."

"Baby's first New Year's without the parents," Changbin coos at him, and earns himself a kick to the shin, "Ouch!"

"What about you, then?" Jeongin asks Changbin after his attack, a satisfied smile taking over his face, "Why aren't you spending it at home?"

"I always pick a holiday to spend with my family, and another one to spend however I want," Changbin explains while rubbing the spot Jeongin had aimed for, "I went back for Christmas, so New Year's was up to me."

Jeongin nods, although he can't understand not spending both at home if given the chance. Maybe it's because his family has always made holidays feel  _ family exclusive _ or because he has to admit, begrudgingly, that he's just simply a family guy. He misses his parents and Chan, but he's not gonna let it bring down the New Year mood. 

"I'm hours and hours away from my family in Malaysia," Jisung shrugs. He doesn't sound upset, it's just a fact, "I'm used to it, though. We just videochat after everyone has recovered from the hangover." 

Changbin raises his glass, "To New Year's spent with friends."

Jeongin and Jisung follow suit, "To New Year's spent with friends."

_ Clink _ . They take one long sip from their drinks at the same time.

.

Jeongin lies. By 11:30, he's already downed two full glasses of two different alcoholic drinks. There's a familiar warm buzz spreading all over his body, down all the way to his toes, though it stays mainly in his chest. Jisung is ahead of him, probably on his tenth glass, but his tolerance is higher so he doesn't seem that affected by it. Changbin, the middle ground between the two, is clearly tipsy yet conscious enough; his slurred words still making sense— which means he's still able to further develop how the root of all problems goes back to capitalism when Jisung comes back with his glass re-filled for the nth time.

Overall, they're all the right amount of drunk. 

When there's half an hour left for 2021 to come knocking on their doors and walk in even when they don't get up to open, the club starts a countdown that shows in the two big TVs propped in the corners of the place. The crowd lets out a loud cheer, and Jeongin chimes in a bit too late, with his  _ yeah _ stretching for longer than others. Dancing is resumed and, already starting to feel the effects of alcohol in his veins, Jisung jumps up from his seat to join the Narnia-esque group of people. 

Jeongin makes his own first trip to the bar to refill his glass ten minutes later. The bartender behind the counter grins at him upon arrival, and is nice throughout the entire exchange, even going as far as to gift him an average sized bowl of chips for free to bring back to his table. Jeongin smiles genuinely at her, and the girl gestures with her hands to tell him it's nothing. He goes back to the booth thinking about how nice people are a rarity these days. 

Changbin informs him she was flirting. 

"What?" Jeongin asks in bewilderment, "No, she wasn't. She just gave me chips."

"While on her shift," Changbin argues. He's struggling to hold his head on his hand, elbow up on the table, mostly sliding down and then bringing himself back up when he notices it, "Who does that? She has the hots for you."

"You're drunk."

"I'm coherent." 

"She was just being nice," Jeongin insists, pushing the bowl of chips his way in hopes he'll get his mouth full and leave him alone. He does get his mouth stuffed, but it doesn't stop him from talking. 

"Start 2021 in a good way," Changbin says, "She's cute. Baby's first New Year's far from home, baby's first New Year's kiss."

Jeongin spares him from the second kick to the shin of the night only because he's under the effects of alcohol. He throws a chip in his face, however, because it's harmless and he knows Changbin's reflexes are shit enough at this point that he doesn't even try to stop it when it's  _ still _ in the air. It crashes against his cheek. 

"You said it," Jeongin says, "She's on her shift. She's working. Gaining money, making a living. She's busy."

Changbin attempts to throw the chip back, but it lands far from Jeongin. The younger rolls his eyes.

"I'm just saying… 2020 was shit," Changbin mutters, "2021 should start with something new." 

Partially, Jeongin has to agree. 2020 hadn't been the year they'd all had hoped it would be on December 31st, 2019. It had started somewhat okay and quickly gone downhill. And, apparently, it was contagious, because he didn't know one single person who'd be able to sincerely tell him 2020 was great. Everyone looked for 2021 with hopeful eyes, ready to kick out this trainwreck of a year like an annoying guest who has overstayed their welcome. 

He also agrees that the year should start with something new— something that could tell them if the year is gonna be good or not. A little hint. Jeongin is surprised no one has pulled out the  _ This Animal Predicts How The Year Will Go _ like they'd done with that poor octopus which apparently predicted the results of football matches. Jeongin kinda wants it to happen still, if anything to have someone to blame if 2021 goes sour. 

What he doesn't agree on is bothering the bartender girl. Or kissing a stranger on New Year's Eve, actually. 

"Should I get you some water?" Jeongin says after a while.

Changbin nods weakly, "Please."

.

Ten minutes before midnight, Jeongin has to pee urgently.

He leaves Jisung and Changbin alone on the dance floor and wiggles aimlessly between sweaty bodies until he catches a glimpse of the bathroom sign. Jeongin really thinks the club should invest in an expansion somehow, because the way he can't walk more than two steps without having to ask for permission to come in between two strangers is a bit ridiculous. He makes a beeline for the toilets and manages to reach the door alive and in one piece; a total of only two accidental hands on his butt. 

He pushes the bathroom door open with his palm flat against the surface, and doesn't notice the lonesome body in there until he's halfway inside one of the stalls and he catches movement in his peripheral vision.

It's a body, yes, and Jeongin quickly realizes it belongs to a boy who, despite looking lifeless, is very much still alive. He's got his eyes closed, and his head thrown back against the wall. It seems like he's struggling to keep himself up.  _ Probably got too drunk too early _ , Jeongin assumes. He takes a step back from the stall, the half-opened door creaking as it shuts itself. The boy opens his eyes.

"Hi," the stranger hiccups, a lazy smile spreading on his face. Jeongin starts approaching him with a hand stretched, afraid the boy will fall down any second.

"Hi," Jeongin says back, "You okay there, dude?"

The man nods, though Jeongin knows it's a lie. But maybe  _ he _ doesn't feel like he's lying, because he tries to detach his body from the wall and almost crumbles to the floor. Jeongin catches him before he can, a hand gripping the stranger's arm and the other one pushing at his chest to straighten him up. The stranger giggles absentmindedly with his head lulling from side to side on its own accord.

"You're… You're  _ gone _ gone," Jeongin thinks out loud. He gets the guy back against the wall so he can loosen his hold on him briefly and try to make him meet his eyes "Hey, what's your name?"

The guy looks up at him through the rebel strands of hair that have escaped from his tiny ponytail and gasps. He brings a hand up to Jeongin's hair, who freezes when he feels the boy's fingers are close enough to trap a fistful in his hand and pull lightly— not to hurt, just in appreciation.

"So white…" The guy whispers in awe, referring to Jeongin's newly dyed (and heavily bleached) hairstyle, "Like a fairy," his hand slides from his hair all the way down to Jeongin's shoulder. 

Jeongin blushes, inevitably, "Thanks," he smiles, and then repeats one more time: "What's your name?"

But the boy only gets dangerously close to his face, "And dimples, too?" He lets out, disbelieving, "Oh, my. You're… an ice prince."

Jeongin looks away for a moment, escaping from the boy's wide eyes and the way these seem to be fixed on his face. The roaring outside is getting increasingly louder, which means 2021 must be close and he should get back to his friends— and that's when his bladder reminds him rather painfully that he still needs to pee. 

The boy has returned to playing with his hair.

"Did you come alone?" Jeongin asks him. The stranger hiccups.

"No," he shakes his head, "Came with Felix and Seungmin."

Jeongin takes the guy's hand away from his head and folds his arm back towards his chest. He pouts. Jeongin rolls his eyes and helps him find enough balance to stand by the wall by himself again.

"Wait here, okay?" Jeongin tells him, "I'll pee and I'll help you find your friends."

"Ok, fairy."

Jeongin's cheeks burn ablaze under the intensity of his blush, "My name is Jeongin."

"Ok, Jeongie."

Close enough _.  _

Jeongin gets inside the stall at record speed and does his business, paying careful attention to any noise from outside that could tell him the boy is moving, or that someone has come in. (Jeongin likes to think most people are decent, but since they're at a party in New Year's with hundreds of people he doesn't know, and the stranger is visibly way too drunk to do  _ anything _ but talk, he can't help but be wary; afraid someone could try and take advantage of him.)

Having been the one to find him, he feels a sense of responsibility to take the boy back to his friends safe.

He zips up his pants when he's done, stepping out and heading straight to wash his hands. The boy is right where he left him. He looks at Jeongin and giggles.

"You're back."

"I am," Jeongin says, turning the faucet off and shaking his hands in the air to dry them off. He looks down at them momentarily and then up at the stranger, an idea forming in his head, "Do you wanna wash your face before we go out? It could help you sober up a little."

"Mmkay."

Jeongin helps him walk the short distance to the sinks and then turns the faucet on. The boy spends a maddening amount of time looking down at the water running and pushing his hair out of his face. The strands fall back each time. Jeongin watches him struggle for long enough and decides to intervene.

"Can you stand by yourself for a little?" He asks him, "I'll fix your ponytail. You can hold onto me if you want."

"Mhm."

The other man grabs a fistful of Jeongin's shirt and puts a hand on the counter where the sink is for extra balance. Jeongin twists his body to reach behind and untie his hair. He lets it fall, sneaking a glance at the mirror to see the stranger's face framed by the long, golden locks. It suits him. 

"What's your name?" Jeongin asks a third time, working on the stranger's hair. It's soft to the touch when he runs his hands through it to pull it up into a half ponytail, and it flows easily as Jeongin moves it around to make it go through the hair tie three times for good measure. 

"Hyunjin."

"All done, Hyunjin," Jeongin shows him the ponytail in the mirror, where their eyes meet briefly. Hyunjin giggles and then hiccups. Jeongin snorts, "Let's freshen you up."

Hyunjin gets his hands under the water and splashes some on his face, hissing at the cold feeling. Jeongin's still holding his arm just in case he needs the support, but otherwise Hyunjin does it all on his own. He stares at his own reflection when he's done, water droplets sliding along the bridge of his nose and the edges of his lips, and then shakes his head like a wet dog. 

Jeongin fans him with his hands for a little, "You'll dry up soon enough," he tells him. He turns the faucet off before grabbing Hyunjin's arm and throwing it over his own shoulders, "Let's get out, okay? Can you walk?"

Hyunjin nods.

Jeongin takes the first few steps with caution, trying to measure the truth behind the boy's gesture. They get to the door without much trouble, and Jeongin takes it as a chance to speed his walking a notch. 

One look at the TV tells him there's only 5 minutes left before 2021. Jeongin curses under his breath, wondering if his friends have been looking for him or are potentially in Hyunjin's same poor condition. Jeongin tightens the hand on the boy's hip and tries to push him up a little so he's not resting all of his weight on Jeongin— who's strong, but to a certain extent. 

He sticks to the sides of the dance floor, going around it instead of through it. He wouldn't come out alive from there, or he'd lose Hyunjin in the endless push and pull. Jeongin decides to take him to his booth first, already realizing he won't be able to parade them both around the place for too long. Hopefully, once seated and having drunk one or two glasses of water, Hyunjin will be able to give Jeongin a description of his friends. 

.

Changbin and Jisung's faces when they see him standing in front of them with a stranger clinging to him are worth taking a picture of to frame and hang in someone's house. 

"I wasn't just gonna leave him alone in the bathroom," is the only explanation Jeongin offers, "Can one of you go grab him a glass of water?"

"Jesus Christ," Jisung says.

Changbin stands up to get the drink as Jeongin helps Hyunjin sit down. The boy looks way better than he did minutes ago in the toilets, but he's still pretty out of it. Jeongin slides next to him and Hyunjin finds his place back on Jeongin's shoulder again, nuzzling into the fabric of his shirt. Jisung lifts an eyebrow.

Before his friend can start asking him about the situation he's found himself in, the countdown for the last minute of 2020 starts rolling. The crowd cheers again, screaming the numbers at the top of their lungs. Sixty seconds aren't a lot, but with the crushing pressure of delivering a stranger to his also stranger friends, they certainly feel eternal to Jeongin.

Changbin arrives at their table with the water when there's five seconds left. He puts the glass down and pushes it softly towards Jeongin, who in turn shakes his shoulder to get Hyunjin to open his eyes. The boy lifts his head up right on time for the last  _ three, two, one _ before the crowd erupts in even louder mayhem and people start hugging their friends. 

"Drink this, Hyunjin," are the first words Jeongin mutters in 2021, and they're directed at a boy he met ten minutes ago and also  _ last year _ . 

Hyunjin grabs the glass with one hand, fingers loosely gripping the fragile material, and stands on the booth much to Jeongin's surprise. He wobbles a little, still mildly dizzy, but manages to stay stable enough to raise the water in the air and shout a lively: "Happy New Year!"

Surprisingly, that gets a lot of strangers to reply back with the same phrase and lift their cups up in his direction, too. Jisung starts cackling from his spot on the booth while Jeongin stays frozen; his mouth hanging open. Changbin chuckles too, merely an observant in the younger's undoubtedly  _ new _ way of beginning the year. 

"Hyunjin, come down," Jeongin speaks, tugging at the man's hand, "You can hurt yourself."

Hyunjin looks down at him when he feels the pull on his arm, "Happy New Year, Jeongie!" He exclaims with a tipsy, lopsided smile on his face

"Yeah, happy New Year," Jeongin sighs, resigned. He points at the glass he's holding, "How about you drink some water to start the year off, hm?"

Hyunjin nods, as if to say  _ that sounds like a good idea _ . He takes the glass up to his lips and tilts his head back, gulping down every drop of water fast. Jeongin winces. If that's how he had been drinking before Jeongin even knew of his existence, it's no surprise he'd ended up drunk enough to be hiccuping the night away in the bathroom. Jeongin grabs the glass from his hands once he's done and tugs at his fingers again.

"Please, come down," he insists one more time.

Thankfully, this time Hyunjin listens. He sinks back onto the fluffy cushions of the booth with an  _ oof.  _ Jeongin relaxes his muscles with a sigh now that he knows he doesn't have to be on edge just in case Hyunjin were to take a wrong step and fall.

"Can you describe your friends to me?" Jeongin asks when he's sure he's got the other boy's attention, "We still need to find them so you can wish them a Happy New Year, right?"

“Mmkay,” Hyunjin says. He leans his head against the back of the seat, “Felix is cute. He’s… blonde. And he has freckles! He’s really so, so cute, Jeongie. He also looks like a fairy; like you,” He stretches a hand forward to boop Jeongin’s nose, “My fairy friends…”

Jeongin chuckles softly, “Okay. What about Seungmin?”

“Seungminnie is tall,” Hyunjin says, twisting his head to look up at the ceiling like that’s where Seungmin’s height is supposed to take him, “I’m taller, though! And his hair is black. He, uhm…. He looks like a puppy.”

“Like a dog?”

“A puppy!” Hyunjin exclaims, making sure Jeongin knows that, apparently, it is not the same thing, “Golden Retriever.”

Jeongin hums. The hair colors, Felix’s freckles and Seungmin’s height are the only relevant things in Hyunjin’s description, and one single scan around the room tells him there are at least a dozen blonde guys and ten others that seem to stand out because of how tall they are. It seems to be a habit of Hyunjin to compare people he knows to other things and, no matter how endearing it might be, Jeongin can’t go around the club looking for people that look like a Golden Retriever puppy— he’s not sure he’d know what to look for, even. A tail? Ears? Trying to picture a human with canine features is more of a terrifying image than a helpful one.

“If you remember anything else that might help us find Felix and Seungmin, you tell me, okay?” Jeongin says.

“Okay, Jeongie.”

“Seungmin?” Jisung chimes in suddenly, “Kim Seungmin, perhaps?”

Hyunjin nods excitedly at the mention of his friend, “Yes!”

“We shared a couple classes this year,” Jisung says, pulling out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, “I might have his number saved.”

Jeongin sighs, visibly relieved. He leans back, shoulders falling tiredly, and closes his eyes tightly for a couple seconds. He hears Jisung tell him he’s found the contact and has just sent Seungmin a text. Hyunjin will make it safe to his friends, and Jeongin will be able to properly say Happy New Year to his own friends and family. 

His first good deed of the year, only minutes into it. 2021 better be good to him.

.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Hyunjin.”

Seungmin stands at their table with his hands on his hips, like a mother scolding a child. Felix stands behind him, trying to hold in his laughter when he sees the way Hyunjin shrinks on himself like a kicked puppy.

“I’m never doing this again, by the way,” Seungmin continues, index finger up and pointing at Hyunjin with every word, “I’m never going out with you, ever. How are you just gonna run off? And when your phone has died? Do you know how long we’ve been looking for you?”

“I’m sorry, Seungmin,” Hyunjin tells him with a pout.

“We were worried, Jinnie,” Seungmin sighs, lifting a hand up to rub at his temples, “What if something happened to you?”

“Nothing happened to me,” Hyunjin says, “I met Jeongie! He’s nice.”

For the first time since he got there, Seungmin looks down at the three other boys at the table. 

(Jisung had gotten a reply to his text merely seconds later, with Seungmin telling him he was gonna be there as soon as possible. Jisung had tried to explain their location as best as he could, and soon enough Seungmin was standing in front of them looking a little frantic. His heart, which had been very obviously at his throat, had gone back to its designated spot when he’d caught sight of Hyunjin, safe and playing fight with two straws. 

And then he’d let out his worry in the form of angry scolding. Honestly, Jeongin gets it.)

Sensing that Seungmin can’t figure out for the life of him which one is Jeongin, the younger boy lifts his hand up.

“I’m Jeongie—” He shakes his head, “Jeongin.” 

Seungmin lifts an eyebrow up at the slip, and Jeongin tries to fight back the heat crawling all the way up to his cheeks. He can't be blamed; that's what Hyunjin's been calling him the entire night, of course it was gonna stick. Right?

"Thank you, Jeongin," Seungmin finally says, "And sorry, on his and my behalf. I should've never taken my eyes off of him."

"It's no problem," Jeongin assures him, "Hyunjin was… uh, cooperative," He sneaks a glance to his right, where Hyunjin has picked up the straws again, "I just couldn't leave him in the bathroom all alone. I wouldn't have forgiven myself."

"Thank you," Seungmin repeats, nodding once to show he's genuinely grateful. He focuses back on Hyunjin, his gaze now clearly fond and soft, "C'mon, Little Prince, it's time to go home."

Hyunjin whines, "I don't wanna leave Jeongie," he says, "He's my new friend."

"And he'll still be your friend even when you're at home," Seungmin reasons, "Let's go. Felix already called a cab."

Hyunjin looks upset, and unlike every other time he's puckered his lips in a pout during the night, this one seems the most real. Jeongin gets out of the booth to give Hyunjin space to slide off of it himself, but the boy doesn't move. He looks at Seungmin with the corners of his lips turned downward in an attempt to show utmost sadness. His friend seems unfazed.

Jeongin calls Changbin's attention by snapping his fingers in front of his face, an idea brewing quickly in his mind. 

"Give me a pen," he says. 

He knows Changbin carries one around at all times in case he gets an idea for his lyrics, often scribbling on his own arms when he can't find paper. True to Jeongin's word, the older pulls one out from the pocket in his shirt immediately upon request and hands it to him. Jeongin grabs a napkin and starts writing. 

_ xxx-xxx-xxx _

_ Jeongin _ _ Jeongie :) _

He folds it a couple times under the curious eyes of his and Hyunjin's friends, feeling a bit nervous. Then, he pushes the napkin toward Hyunjin.

"That's my number," Jeongin says. He feels embarrassed, knowing all of them are watching him exclusively, "So we can still be friends, see? You should go home and get some rest."

Hyunjin gasps delightedly, taking the napkin and pocketing it in his jeans quickly. He slides out of the booth then, Seungmin by his side with an amused glint in his eyes as his friend clings to him once he's within reach. Hyunjin stabilizes himself in Seungmin's hold and then turns around, calling Jeongin with his hands and gesturing for him to get a bit closer. 

"Come here." 

He does. 

Hyunjin lands a big, loud smooch on his cheek, unprompted and without warning. Jeongin's eyes widen. It's short, and Hyunjin is soon detaching himself from him to get both of his arms back around Seungmin's neck. Jeongin has to make a conscious effort to resist the urge to touch his cheekbone with his hand, right where Hyunjin's lips had been. 

"Bye, Jeongie," Hyunjin says in a bubbly tone, "Happy New Year!" 

"Bye," He says, though it comes out as a whisper that he's sure Hyunjin can't hear. 

He watches as the three boys make their way to the exit, catching the last bits of their conversation.  _ Jeongin is a nice person, but not everyone is like him. You could've seriously gotten hurt, _ from Seungmin and  _ wait, oh my God. Seungminnie, Lixie— Happy New Year!  _ from Hyunjin. Jeongin watches them until they disappear behind the sea of people and the only thing he can see every now and then is the half ponytail he'd helped Hyunjin fix. 

"That was… interesting," Jisung says after a moment of silence. Changbin hums in agreement.

"Happy New Year, guys," Jeongin blurts in response, which prompts them all to erupt into a fit of giggles. 

Changbin throws an arm around him and lifts his other hand up to mess up his hair, "Happy New Year,  _ Jeongie. _ "

Jeongin elbows him in the stomach.

.

**JAN 3RD 2021**

Jeongin takes a bus to his hometown on January 3rd and spends the entire ride trying to avoid getting hit by the small toys the kid sitting next to him keeps throwing in the air. Jeongin makes eye contact with the mother sitting in the seat right across the aisle a couple times; the young woman smiling apologetically as she tries to make her child calm down. When he finally gets off the bus, Jeongin can't feel the right side of his body from being pressed against the window the whole time. 

The taxi ride to his parents' house is much quieter and comfortable. The driver doesn't speak to him more than necessary, merely asking for an address and then turning the volume of the radio up once he's got it. Jeongin revels in the wide backseat he's got to himself, setting his backpack next to him instead of under his feet like he'd had to do on the bus, and sighs in contentment.

The outside of the house always brings Jeongin back in time: memories of him and Chan rolling around the grass in the front yard and their mother screeching when she would see the state in which they'd leave their clothes, white t-shirts turned brown with dirt; memories of scraped knees and cheeks wet with tears and his dad sticking cartoon band aids on his skin. Jeongin likes to take a long look at the front door every time he comes to visit, consumed by images of his past, because he knows that once he crosses the threshold he's back to being 19.

"Happy New Year!" 

Chan greets him from the door before Jeongin has even started walking up to the entrance. His brother runs to him and tackles him into a tight hug, Jeongin's backpack sliding off of his shoulder and falling to the ground with the impact. He hugs back, chin resting on Chan's shoulder, and enjoys knowing he's at home. 

"Happy New Year," Jeongin says back once they've parted, bending down to pick his bag up. Chan snatches it from his hands before he can protest, and they both start walking towards the house where Minho now leans against the door frame with a smile. 

"Hey, Jeongin," His brother's boyfriend grins, a hand already up in the air for Jeongin's own to smack against in their characteristic high-five greeting. Jeongin follows through as planned, "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year, Minho," Jeongin says as he walks into the house, "If you guys let any of your friends spend the night in my room I'm gonna be pissed."

Jeongin makes a quick trip up to his bedroom, where he thoroughly checks nothing has been moved or damaged in his absence. His bed is made, his old Avengers figurines are still on the shelves, and the small notebook he'd used as a diary during his most angsty teenage years is still hidden somewhere deep in his closet (thank God). He throws his bag on the bed and then walks down the stairs with quick steps, ready to get a bite of whatever his brother and Minho have cooked. 

"We got pizza from that delivery place nearby," Chan announces as he steps into the kitchen. He slides the box towards Jeongin, "We woke up too late to cook and we knew you'd be coming around this hour, so."

"No complaints," Jeongin says, already taking a slice up to his mouth and chasing the melting cheese with his tongue, "I didn't even have breakfast, so I'm  _ very _ hungry. I could eat anything."

"Yeah, we can tell," Minho teases as he watches Jeongin get half the slice into his mouth in one single bite, "Slow down, Jeongin, my God." 

Chan takes a seat at the table with him, grabbing a slice himself, "So, how was your New Year's?" He asks, "It was... different, right? I felt weird. I asked Minho what Christmas movie we should watch after our friends left and he looked me in the eyes and said _ why would we watch a Christmas movie? _ "

"Unbelievable," Jeongin gasps, "He did  _ not _ do that."

"I've never spent New Year's with your family," Minho says defensively, "How was I supposed to know it was punishable by law to call Christmas movies on days that aren't Christmas nonsensical?" 

"You've been dating my brother for what— like, seven years?" Jeongin points an accusatory finger at him, "And you don't know the Bang traditions?"

"It's been five years," Chan chimes in, munching leisurely on his pizza as he watches his younger brother and his boyfriend bantering like they usually do.

"Just five?" Jeongin frowns, "God, I feel like Minho has been bothering me forever."

"I'm gonna feed you tissues again," Minho threatens, "And I know you love me, anyway. Or have you forgotten about that really sweet letter you wrote me for my birthday?" He reaches across the table to try and pinch Jeongin's cheeks.

"I was 15!" Jeongin exclaims indignantly, batting away his hands.

"It's in my wallet—" 

"Why do you have it in your wallet!?"

Chan swallows the last bite of pizza and decides to interrupt, clapping his hands loudly to get their attention, "Stop. Jeongin, you didn't even answer my question."

Jeongin sticks his tongue out at Minho before replying, "It was…fun, I guess," He says; the image of Hyunjin's drunken smile flashing in his mind. He shifts on the chair, clearing his throat, "Changbin, Jisung, and I went to some club."

Chan nods. Jeongin doesn't want to get relentlessly teased again (he'd had enough with his friends already) which is why he doesn't feel like mentioning the situation, and is glad that Chan isn't that much of a curious person when it comes to what Jeongin does when he's out with friends. 

Minho, however—the bane of his existence—, narrows his eyes at him in an evaluating gaze as soon as he stops talking.

"Something happened," He concludes after he's studied Jeongin's face for long enough to collect his data, "Hm. Did you… get super drunk?"

"No," Jeongin answers easily, "I didn't drink that much." 

"Did your friends do something crazy, or embarrassing?" Minho further questions, like they're playing a game of Clue and he needs to figure out who did it.

"I don't know. To be honest, they probably did do something embarrassing at some point," Jeongin says, like the accomplice covering up the crimes that tries to deceive the detectives.

Unsatisfied with the answer, Minho keeps prodding, "Did you… meet someone?" Jeongin gulps, tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek, unable to say something back quick enough. Minho slams a hand on the kitchen table, "You did!"

Jeongin turns to face his brother, "It's not too late to break up with him. For the sake of our own relationship as brothers."

Chan snorts, "Sorry, I'm in love with him."

"Exactly," Minho agrees, sending flying kisses to the older from where he stands, "You won't get rid of me. I'm gonna marry your brother."

"God," Jeongin groans, crossing his arms on the table and resting his forehead against them, "Forever. Until death do you apart…"

"Amen," Chan leans forward to grab another slice of pizza. 

"So, tell us," Minho insists, "Who did you meet? Don't even try to lie— I know I'm right."

Jeongin lifts his head with a sigh. He gives in, "Just some guy. He was drunk and all alone in the bathroom, so I helped him find his friends."

_ He was also the first person to wish me a Happy New Year, and I spent the first seconds of 2021 telling him to drink water and sit down _ , Jeongin thinks. He can't help but feel like there's something important there, something worth keeping in mind— maybe because he's never had such a hectic beginning of the year in his whole life. 

Either way, even though the same thought has been taking up a big part of his brain the last few days, he still can't come to an agreement with himself on whether it's a sign on how 2021 is gonna be (chaotic, messy, unexpected) or something along those lines or if it's just a crazy thing that simply happened to involve him. A coincidence.

"That's nice of you," Chan says, ruffling his hair. Jeongin gives him a small smile, "Were his friends super drunk, as well?"

"No, they were okay," Jeongin tells him, "They had been looking for him for a while but couldn't find him anywhere. One of them started scolding him right in front of us."

"Damn."

"Yeah. But I get it. He was worried, and apparently this guy's phone had died earlier in the night. We were lucky Jisung knew one of his friends and had his contact saved."

"Why did you not want to tell us this?" Minho asks, confused, "I thought it was gonna be something more juicy. You're the hero of this story."

"Not a hero, just a decent human being," Jeongin says, licking his fingers clean of pizza grease, "And I didn't wanna tell you because I already got teased enough by Changbin and Jisung."

"Teased for what? Saving the day?" 

Jeongin sighs. He can feel the blood rushing to the tips of his ears along with another thin coat spreading over his cheeks, "He kept calling me Jeongie, and— and I had to give him my number so he would go home because he didn't wanna leave me," He admits.

Chan's eyebrows shoot up, surprised, and Minho's smirk grows like the Cheshire cat's smile. Jeongin throws his head back, already dreading whatever words Minho is about to say out loud. 

"Now that's the juicy part."  _ God. _

"Stop calling it juicy," Jeongin says, "Nothing juicy about it."

"It does sound pretty juicy," Chan joins his boyfriend in making Jeongin's life miserable. 

"I hate you both. The combination between you too is the worst thing that has ever happened to me."

Jeongin's phone starts vibrating in the back pocket of his jeans as Chan and Minho laugh delightedly at having gotten on his nerves. The younger shows them his middle finger as he fishes the device out with his other hand, eyeing the number on the screen. He doesn't recognize it. He slides his finger across the screen to pick up the call and lifts the phone up to his ear.

The middle finger turns into Jeongin holding his index finger up to tell Chan and Minho to shut up for a moment.

"Hello?" He says, "Who's this?" 

"Hi!" The person on the other side answers quickly, "It's, um. It's Hyunjin? From the New Year's party. Is this… Jeongie?"

Jeongin is speechless for a moment, eyes widening comically. He'd thought Hyunjin wouldn't call at all, since it had already been two days since the night at the club. Jeongin was fine with that and, to be honest, that's what he'd expected the entire time. But now he's got the other boy on the line right after he's finished retelling their encounter to his brother and Minho— Jeongin starts wondering how many coincidences can take place in less than a week. 

"Yeah, this is Jeongin," He finally replies.

"Sorry, I...  _ Jeongie  _ was written on the napkin and I couldn't remember your actual name," Hyunjin sounds embarrassed. 

"It's fine. How— How can I help you, Hyunjin?"

"Oh!" Hyunjin exclaims, like he's just remembered why he'd called, "Yes. I just wanted to say sorry, you know. For ruining your New Year's," He chuckles humorlessly, "I can't imagine taking care of a drunk stranger counts as a nice way to start the year." 

"It's really no problem," Jeongin assures him, "I already told Seungmin that night. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I just left you there. You needed help." 

"Still," Hyunjin insists, "Sorry. And thank you. And also sorry for calling, like, days later. I was extremely embarrassed and couldn't dial your number without wanting to disappear."

That gets a laugh out of Jeongin. Chan and Minho are still in front of him, trying to pretend they're not listening to his every word and failing miserably at being subtle. Jeongin can tell they've already figured out who he's talking to, and he won't give them the satisfaction to tune into his conversation. He gets up from the chair and starts walking toward the stairs to go to his room.

"I understand," Jeongin says, the hand not holding the phone tracing the railing lightly as he goes up, "Again, it's nothing."

"I felt like I really needed to apologize. And I also want to… make it up to you, somehow," There's a small pause, "Do you, uh, do you wanna go get coffee or something? Today?" Hyunjin asks, words crashing against each other with the speed in which he utters them, "My treat. As a thank you gesture for keeping me alive, I guess." 

Jeongin closes the door to his room behind him as he steps inside. He's shocked. This wasn't what he'd thought would happen by writing his number down. At most, he'd thought he'd just get a thank you text. Jeongin takes a couple seconds to reply, stunned by the offer. 

"I'm currently not at home," He says, bringing a hand up to scratch the back of his neck, "I'm at my parents' house."

"Right. God, sorry. I should've asked if you were free, first, I just— went for it."

"We can totally do it some other day, though," He continues, wanting to free Hyunjin from the embarrassment he's obviously feeling; his voice too full of it to ignore, "I'll probably get back in two days or so. This is your number, isn't it? I'll text you."

It's Hyunjin's turn to fall silent. Jeongin finds the corners of his lips twitching slightly in an almost involuntary smile as he waits. 

"Sure. Yeah, this is my number," Hyunjin speaks, "Text me whenever you're free."

"I will."

"Okay. Then, that's all, I guess. Sorry again, for that night. And now for, uh, calling unannounced."

"It's okay. I'm glad to hear you're doing well. I should go now… My brother and his boyfriend are probably eating all the pizza without me."

Hyunjin lets out a breathy chuckle, "Then I won't hold you here anymore. Bye, Jeongin."

"Bye."

Jeongin looks down at his phone once the call ends. He merely holds it in his hands for a moment, eyes fixed on the call log that tells him Hyunjin and him talked for around 5 minutes.

He gets back to the kitchen with one new contact saved:  _ Hyunjin _ .

.

**JAN 4TH 2021**

**Jeongin**

_ Hey _

_ In case you didn't save my number, it's Jeongin _

_ I'm going home early tomorrow. Will probably be free in the afternoon :) _

**Hyunjin**

_ Of course I saved your number!!!! _

_ And that's great ~  _

_ Text me tomorrow and we can meet up _

**Jeongin**

_ Will do! _

.

**JAN 5TH 2021**

"Where are you going all dressed up?" 

Jeongin looks up at Changbin, still bent down to reach his shoelaces and tie them up. Hyunjin had suggested a place an hour ago and they'd agreed on the time easily, giving each other the chance to take a quick shower and get ready in general. 

"What about this—" Jeongin points down at his plaid white shirt and jeans, "— is  _ dressing up _ ?"

"Nothing, that's just what people say. You're clearly in a rush, though."

"Yeah, I want to get there on time."

Jeongin makes a quick run back to his bedroom to grab his wallet and keys, pocketing both items as he walks past Changbin sitting at their kitchen table. He takes the first jacket he finds; one Jeongin had left hanging on the back of one of the chairs a couple days before after going grocery shopping. Jeongin slides it on, sniffing it in the process. It seems fine. 

"Where are you going?" Changbin asks one more time.

"None of your business," Jeongin replies, and then steps out of their apartment. 

The café Hyunjin had mentioned is thankfully close enough to his apartment building that he can just walk there. He rushes his steps unconsciously with every block he leaves behind, checking the time in his phone every now and then. Jeongin catches sight of the big sign outside the café 10 minutes after leaving home, right from where he stands in a corner waiting for the light to turn green so he can cross the street. The time reads 6:01pm. 

The bell above the door rings when he pushes it open, announcing his arrival to everyone in there. A couple curious heads look up from their beverages to see who's walked in but quickly go back to their own things after realizing it's just  _ some guy  _ to them _. _ Jeongin scans the room looking for Hyunjin and decides to pick an empty table when he doesn't see him— apparently, he's the first to get there. 

He plays around with his phone, opening months old game apps he hasn't used in a while to try and pass the time. A waitress comes over to ask for his order, and he has to timidly tell her he's waiting for someone, and that he'll order then. She leaves two menus on the table anyway for when his date comes.  _ Date _ . That's what she calls it. Jeongin doesn't get to correct her as she turns around and goes right back to work like she hasn't left him blushing. 

The door opens again after a while; the harmonious ringing being a clear telltale of newcomers entering the café. Like the curious eyes that had watched him, Jeongin lifts his head up to see who it is. 

Hyunjin closes the door slowly, the bell ringing softly when it's touched a second time. The recognizable long, blonde hair that had caught Jeongin's attention that night isn't tied up this once, instead flowing down and lightly grazing Hyunjin's shoulders. He starts looking around the room much like Jeongin did. To make it easier for him, Jeongin starts waving his hand. Hyunjin finds him quickly after that.

"Hey," Hyunjin greets him with a smile as he sits down in front of him. It's not like the ones he'd shown on New Year's Eve, wobbly and clearly drunken. This one is softer, smaller, and with a lot less alcohol-induced confidence behind it. 

"Hey. How's it going?" Jeongin says, already beginning to feel a bubble of awkwardness surrounding them and trying to find a way to pop it, "I was gonna try and be funny and say something like  _ haven't seen you since last year _ , but."

Hyunjin chuckles, tensed shoulders relaxing as the laugh comes out of him, "Can't believe we met last year," He jokes, "It doesn't feel that long."

"Right?" Jeongin says, like it's something unbelievable, "Time flies by so fast— it's already 2021. Can you believe that?"

"Seems like it was just yesterday."

"Or 6 days ago."

They both laugh this time, the sounds intertwining with each other in the cozy atmosphere. Jeongin doesn't want Hyunjin to feel ashamed, knowing the memories that are just a wild story for him are an embarrassing recollection to the other boy— those you cringe at when you randomly remember them—, which is why he tries to ease both of them into a casual conversation. 

The awkward bubble disappears like they've just poked it with a needle— though there's still smaller ones lingering around them. 

"Did you order already?" Hyunjin points at the menus.

"No," Jeongin shakes his head, "I was waiting for you."

"You didn't have to do that," Hyunjin tsks, picking one up to read.

"It would have been rude. Plus, you showed up just a bit later. I didn't have to wait that much."

Jeongin calls the waitress over when they finally decide on their drinks. He belatedly remembers how she'd referred to their meeting as a date and prays to God she doesn't somehow bring it up in conversation. Thankfully, she slides over with a smile on and her notepad out and doesn't stay for longer than she needs to. After quickly scribbling their orders down, she takes the menus from them and tells them it'll be ready in a minute.

"So," Jeongin blurts after the waitress has left, "uh… how did you deal with the hangover?"

Hyunjin winces, face contorting in distaste, "It was  _ awful _ ," He says, "I woke up with a splitting headache, my mouth super dry and Seungmin throwing the painkillers in my face. Took me hours to get rid of the pain."

"I imagine. I mean, you were…" Jeongin throws his hands up at the lack of word to use.  _ Drunk _ doesn't even begin to cover it, "But you looked like you were having fun."

"Well, I guess I was. Everything's fun when you're not sober," Hyunjin snorts, "I wasn't planning on getting that bad, though, I just wanted to start 2021 pleasantly tipsy and with a positive attitude since 2020 sucked."

Jeongin nods, sharing the sentiment, "It did. 2021 has been okay so far, at least."

"Yeah," Hyunjin whispers, suddenly shy again, "It has."

The waitress comes over to their table holding a tray in one hand and two placemats in the other. She sets the latter down first and then carefully lowers the steamy mugs in front of them, fitting the empty tray under her arm once she's done. 

"Here you go," She exclaims cheerily, "Enjoy! If you guys need anything else, feel free to call me."

Both boys dive into their orders with gusto, blowing on the hot liquid for a bit before taking a first sip. The warmth travels along their bodies, heating up the tips of their fingers and ears. For a moment, all they do is enjoy their drinks in silence, the sound of spoons crashing against the inside of mugs being the only thing they can hear in the quiet café.

"Thank you for accepting the coffee offer," Hyunjin speaks up when their cups are already half empty, "I'm sorry, again. I don't know how many times I've said it, but I really feel so bad that you had to deal with me when you were supposed to be celebrating with your friends like everyone else."

"Hyunjin, I didn't  _ have _ to do anything," Jeongin insists. He holds Hyunjin's gaze so he knows he means it, "I chose to do it."

Hyunjin purses his lips, looking down at his mug and lifting it up for another sip.

"And you should stop saying sorry," Jeongin goes on. Hyunjin looks up at him as he still has the cup in front of his face, covering almost half of it, "You certainly made my night more… unexpectedly different. In a good way. Plus, you kinda left me a good story to share— could make me look interesting at parties."

" _ The night I saved a poor drunk _ ," Hyunjin grins. Jeongin laughs. Hyunjin puts the mug back on its little plate and crosses his arms on the table, leaning against them, "I'm really grateful it was you that walked into the bathroom that night."

"Me too," Jeongin says. Hyunjin is looking at him with a small smile on his face, which makes Jeongin feel some kind of way. He grabs the empty sugar package he'd dumped in his drink before and starts folding it, looking down at his fingers, "I'm also glad Jisung had Seungmin's number— it made finding your friends way easier."

"Yeah! What are the odds?" Hyunjin chuckles, "I guess the world really is a small place."

"Yeah," Jeongin sighs. Coincidences can be a funny thing, he supposes. Nothing to overthink, "I guess it is."

They finish their coffees in a relatively comfortable atmosphere, making small talk between each sip they take. There's still a layer of awkwardness coating their words, but it gets less obvious as time passes by; slowly easing themselves back into conversation each time there's a moment of silence that stretches for a bit too long. 

The waitress comes over with the bill when they're done and, true to his word, Hyunjin ends up paying for both of them. Jeongin insists on letting him pay his part, but Hyunjin shakes his head no every time.  _ My treat, remember?  _

They walk out of the café together, jackets zipped all the way up to guard themselves against the chilly air. Jeongin holds the door for Hyunjin and then walks out himself, the ringing bell now signaling their departure instead.

"Thanks for the coffee," Jeongin says as they both stand on the sidewalk, "I had a great time."

"Me too," Hyunjin smiles, putting his hands inside the pockets of his long coat, "It was really nice meeting you, Jeongin. Both drunk and sober."

Jeongin laughs, "It was nice meeting you, too," He points at the direction in which he's supposed to walk, "Do you take this route too?"

"No," Hyunjin shakes his head, "I live the opposite way, so..."

Jeongin stretches a hand forward, "Bye, Hyunjin. Thank you for today."

Hyunjin takes it in his, both of them shaking their arms in a firm handshake, "Bye, Jeongin."

.

**JAN 31ST 2021**

"Get the ones that are shaped like a bowtie," Jeongin hears Changbin say through the phone, "I love those." 

Jeongin balances his phone between his shoulder and his right cheek as he attempts to fit his groceries in the singular shopping basket he'd picked up when he'd walked into the supermarket half an hour before. He scoffs at Changbin's request, eyeing the endless shelves filled with pasta packages while simultaneously pushing down the mayonnaise he'd thrown along with the other products to try and make it fit. 

"I don't see bowties at first glance," He tells the older, "I'm just picking a random one." 

Changbin whines, "But the bowties."

"All pasta tastes the same."

"You're factually wrong," Changbin argues. Jeongin rolls his eyes. 

He sets the basket down, the stubborn mayonnaise package sliding off to the floor in the process. Jeongin holds the phone with his hand now, craning his neck to take a better look at the top shelf. He spots the god-damned pasta shaped like bowties a couple seconds after, still listening to Changbin telling him how the shape of the pasta alters its flavor (Jeongin's pretty sure he's pulling everything out of his ass). 

"Whatever," Jeongin cuts him off mid-rant, "I found the bowties." 

"Nice," Changbin says, dropping his monologue entirely, "I'll pay you back when you get home." 

"Next time, you're coming with me," Jeongin mutters into the phone, standing on his tippy toes and stretching his free hand up to try and grab the package, "I just wanted to pick a few things up for my birthday, and now I filled the basket with your stupid requests." 

"We can level up our roommate relationship with some good grocery shopping whenever you want, Jeongie." 

Jeongin cringes, landing his feet flat on the ground again with a sigh. Changbin and Jisung have been calling him Jeongie since New Year's Eve— at first to tease, then maybe to get him flustered randomly, but now it has genuinely just… stuck. He doesn't think they're using the nickname to get his cheeks to warm up anymore, but rather because they've simply gotten used to it. 

(It's not that Jeongin has a problem with the nickname per se; it's cute and it sounds nice. The problem lies in the images that project in his brain automatically every time he hears it— long hair waving in the chilly wind and eyes looking at him from behind a coffee mug— and the contact saved in his phone under  _ Hyunjin _ that he's opened an embarrassing amount of times these past few days. 

To do what? He's not too sure himself. Jeongin clicks away from it before he can really  _ do anything _ , anyway.)

"I'm gonna hang up, I need both hands for your stupid bowties," Jeongin says into the phone.

"Hasta la vista, baby."

"Can't you just say bye like a normal person?"

"Bye, Jeong—"

Jeongin hangs up.

He pockets the device with quick hands, now stretching both arms up and poking his tongue out between his lips in concentration. His fingers lightly touch the package a couple times, slowly inching it closer to his grasp. One particularly strong push with his index sends the bowties flying to his face, and when he manages to pull it away he also catches sight of at least a dozen other packages free falling. He covers his head with his arms and hears the chaos rather than sees it.

When he lowers them and opens his eyes, he's surrounded by packages and packages lying on the floor and a couple people that have come from other aisles to see what the commotion is all about. Jeongin smiles apologetically at them and falls to his knees, gathering some in his arms and then standing back up. People give him weird looks but ultimately decide to continue with their own shopping. 

"Stupid Changbin," He mutters under his breath, pushing the pasta back on the shelves, "Stupid bowties."

He dives down again, at least ten more packages waiting to be picked up. Jeongin gets lost in his own mind, planning to get revenge on his roommate and thinking about the possibilities to do so.  _ I just won't buy the bowties. No, I should make it unexpected. Get him with his guard down. Hm… those shampoo pranks…? He'd look funny with fluorescent green hair— _

"Do you need help?"  __

Jeongin takes a quick look to his right, seeing a shopping cart parked next to him and someone's feet standing behind it. 

Jeongin shakes his head, "It's okay, I can do this. It was my fault anyway."

"It's really no problem," The stranger says, shoes squeaking with every footstep as they get close to him. They crouch near Jeongin and start piling packages in their own arms, "Four hands work faster than two."

"Thank you," Jeongin says, lifting his head up to look at the stranger. Blonde hair up in a man bun, only two strands free from the hair tie— Jeongin is pretty sure he almost swallows his own tongue when he recognizes him, "... Hyunjin?"

Hyunjin meets his eyes, eyebrows drawn together in a frown at the mention of his name. His face contorts into genuine surprise when he realizes who he's talking to, "Jeongin?"

"Oh," Jeongin stands up, arms still filled with pasta, and Hyunjin follows suit, "Wow."

"Yeah…" Hyunjin chuckles, "What a coincidence."

(Jeongin will really need to start looking into coincidences, too many of them happening to him for his liking. All linked back to the same event— is that how they work? Has anyone studied the science behind coincidence, if there's even any science behind it?)

"Thank you for helping me," Jeongin says after a second or two, getting the packages back into the shelves as Hyunjin starts doing the same with the ones he has in his arms, "I'm never buying anything for my roommate ever again." 

"It's no problem," Hyunjin assures him, "Why didn't your roommate come buy his, uh …." He stops, flipping the package to read the label, "...  _ farfalle  _ pasta himself?"

"I came here to buy stuff for my birthday, which is in a few days. He knew I was coming and called to ask me to buy some things for him. Now the basket is full and I still haven't gotten what I actually came for."

"Which is…?"

"Alcohol," Jeongin picks up the last two packages and gets them back on their place as Hyunjin fits his last one, finally done with fixing the mess. 

"Hm. When's your birthday?" Hyunjin asks as he makes his way behind the cart and gets his hands on the handle again. Jeongin lifts the basket with one hand and grabs the mayonnaise package in the other.

"February 8th," He replies. He balances the mayonnaise on top of the other things and then adds the pasta package  _ on top of that _ . It's a matter of minutes until they both fall from the pile, but he'll take it, "20 years old."

"Oh, that's so close. Happy early birthday," Hyunjin says, to which Jeongin replies with a  _ thank you _ . They start walking side by side, slowly, "And I'm actually surprised— I'm older than you." 

"Really?"

Hyunjin nods, "I'll be 21 in March."

"Happy early birthday to you too, then," Jeongin says, battling with his overflowing basket as they make a turn toward the dairy aisle.

"A month prior?" Hyunjin laughs. He looks over at the younger, who's clearly still struggling with his roommate's pasta. He clears his throat, "Do you— Do you want to put it in the cart?" He motions down to the carton of eggs and the toothpaste box in it, "I don't think I'm buying much more."

"Oh, no, it's okay," Jeongin shakes his head, "I'll just go get a cart from the front myself, or something. I don't wanna bother you."

"I just pick the cart because I like leaning against it," Hyunjin admits, like it's a secret no one else knows, "I'm seriously not gonna buy more than this, a loaf of bread and  _ maybe  _ some apples. It's really not a bother."

"... Okay," Jeongin agrees finally, lifting the basket over the side of the cart and lowering it inside. The contents he'd struggled to fit fall immediately, finally having somewhere with space to be in.

"Oh, I thought—" Hyunjin stares at the inside of the cart and then looks up at Jeongin. The corners of his mouth go up into an amused smile that he tries to hide by licking his lips, "I thought we'd, like, exchange… I'd get the basket, and you—"

"Oh," Jeongin says, something clicking in his brain. He can feel his face getting got, "Oh, my god. Yeah, that makes more sense."

"We can totally shop together, though," Hyunjin quips.

"Shut up," Jeongin murmurs, emptying the basket as Hyunjin giggles at the situation. 

Once he's done, he grabs the handles and takes it out of the cart with ease. Jeongin offers it to Hyunjin, trying to keep eye contact without burning alive from embarrassment. Their skin touches when the older grabs it, his hand momentarily half on top of Jeongin's as one of them lets go of it and the other wraps his fingers around it. Hyunjin settles his carton of eggs and toothpaste box in the basket and then fits his arm through the handles until they're resting on a deeper part of his forearm.

"Thank you, again," Jeongin says, the tips of his ears probably still a bit red, "Have a nice… rest of your shopping?"

Hyunjin chuckles, "You too! It was nice seeing you again."

"Yeah, same," Jeongin turns the cart around to start walking the opposite way, twisting his head to look over his shoulder and wave his hand at Hyunjin, "Bye."

"Bye," Hyunjin waves back. He takes a few steps forward before turning around again, "Hope you have a nice birthday!" 

Jeongin smiles, "Thank you." 

.

(Jeongin gets back home half an hour later, three bags full. He closes the door with his hips and then sets them down on the floor, rummaging through them until he sees what he's looking for.

"Changbin!" He calls. The older steps out of his room, unaware, and almost falls on his butt when Jeongin throws the padta package straight at him as soon as he sees his face.

"Wha–?"

"I have more in the bags," Jeongin threatens. 

Changbin trips over his own feet in his rush to get back inside his room.)

.

**FEB 8TH 2021**

Jeongin wakes up startled, a sudden pain spreading across this forehead. He opens his eyes slightly, a hand flying up to rub at the place where he'd felt the hit, and is met with Changbin's big grin and his hands centimeters away from Jeongin's face— ready to land another finger flick on him if necessary. The younger groans, his hand sliding down to cover more of his face than just his forehead.

"What are you doing?" He asks groggily, morning voice cracking with the first words of the day. 

"It's your birthday," Changbin offers as an explanation. He singsongs the congratulatory phrase, "Happy birthday, Jeongie."

Jeongin parts his fingers, eyes open and spying the older through the opening. His friend is now holding a big muffin with a small candle stuck in it on his hands. The younger's heart expands at the sight, and he ends up smiling fondly as he sits up in bed to receive it.

"Thank you," Jeongin says, touched by the gesture. Changbin crawls onto the bed too, flopping down on his belly right next to Jeongin, "Did you make this…?"

"I bought it from the bakery nearby," He admits with a shrug, "You know I can't cook for shit. It's the thought that counts, though!" 

Jeongin laughs, nodding. Changbin pulls out a lighter from the pockets of his jeans and motions for Jeongin to get the muffin closer. He lights up the candle easily and sings  _ Happy Birthday _ purposefully out of tune, with Jeongin joining in for an awful and uncoordinated high note at the end. 

"Make a wish," Changbin encourages.

Jeongin thinks it over, landing on a simple  _ I hope good things happen this year _ and then blows softly on the flame. He takes the candle out afterwards, splitting the muffin in two as best as he can and handing one half to Changbin. 

Jeongin takes the first bite, letting out an appreciative sound at the delicious taste. Changbin shoots him a thumbs up too when he munches on the piece he'd just thrown into his mouth, agreeing without words. 

Jeongin grabs his phone from the nightstand, deciding to read some messages as he enjoys the sweet flavor. 

There's one from his brother, of course:

**Channie**

_ Happy birthday bro!!!! I love you ❤️ _

**Jeongin**

_ Thank you channieee  _

_ love you too ❤️ _

One from Minho:

**Minho**

_ Birth. _

**Jeongin**

_ I only accept gifts that are cash _

One from his mom (which means it's also from his dad, by extension):

**Mom**

_ Happy birthday baby! Hope you can visit soon. We miss you… ❤️ _

**Jeongin**

_ Thank you mom!!! _

_ I'll try to go next weekend. I miss you too _

One from Jisung:

**Jisung**

_ Yo man happy birthday  _

**Jeongin**

_ Thanks dude _

And, although it takes Jeongin a moment to really process it, there's also one from Hyunjin:

**Hyunjin**

_ Happy birthday Jeongin! :D  _

**Jeongin**

_ wow, you remembered! Thank you ^^ _

Jeongin swallows his last bite of muffin as he hits send, fingers slightly hovering over the keyboard still even if he knows he doesn't have anything else to say. He doesn't notice he's smiling until Changbin starts poking at his leg insistently to call his attention.

"Who texted you?" He asks. Instinctively, Jeongin pulls the phone screen closer to his chest to hide it. He curses himself when he catches Changbin's eyebrow lifting up and his mouth curving into a smirk, "Oh?  _ Now  _ I actually gotta know who it is."

Jeongin flips around, already expecting the attack, and clutches his phone tightly against his body. The bed shakes as Changbin throws himself at him, draping himself all over Jeongin's back and trying to find a way to get his hand under him to find the phone. 

"Go away," Jeongin yells, though it's muffled by the mattress his face is pressed against, "It's my birthday! Leave me alone!"

Changbin hears him anyway, "You're texting someone and you haven't told me? I'm your  _ bestest _ friend!"

"I'm not texting anyone."

Changbin doesn't stop, instead choosing to jab his fingers in Jeongin's sides. It's unfair, Jeongin thinks as his body starts jerking involuntarily— Changbin is aware that he's  _ extremely  _ ticklish. He knows it's a lost battle as soon as he feels the older begin to use this against him: in a matter of seconds, Jeongin is folding himself and flipping around again to come up for air. Changbin, victorious, uses the opportunity to take the phone away from his fragile grasp— which had been weakened by his laughter.

It takes a bit for Jeongin to recover, and that's enough for Changbin to reach his and Hyunjin's chat. 

"Hyunjin?" He says out loud, "Why does that sound familiar?" 

Jeongin kicks his back instead of answering. He's still breathing heavily, and he won't give Changbin any kind of help to figure it out. Changbin groans at the kick and blindly tries to punch his leg in retaliation as he continues to stare at the phone and think. He misses.

"Oh— Oh, oh, oh! I got it!" Changbin speaks up after a moment, "The guy from the party!" Then, with much more shock laced with his voice: "The guy from the party!?"

Jeongin sighs, "Can I have my phone back?"

"You're going out with him?  _ What? _ Since the party?" Changbin twists his body to face the younger. Jeongin sits up.

"I'm not going out with him," He argues with a frown, "He just called me a month ago to apologize for the party incident and invited me to get coffee—" Changbin's eyes widen, "— _ as a way to say thank you _ ," He clarifies before the other can get any ideas, "I ran into him in the supermarket a few days ago and my birthday came up in conversation and he just… He remembered. That's all."

Changbin looks delighted, "Oh my God. Coffee? He remembered your birthday? Jeongie…" 

"Stop," Jeongin says, already knowing what he's gonna say, "He's genuinely just incredibly nice. Seriously."

"Hm," Changbin hums unconvinced, looking at Jeongin like he wants to say what he was gonna say anyway. He gets another idea before he can do that, however, an expression Jeongin does  _ not _ like taking over his face— the same one he gets every time he finds a way to bother Jeongin, "You should invite him to the party tonight."

"Changbin, no," Jeongin starts shaking his head immediately and so abruptly he almost gives himself whiplash, "No. I barely know the guy."

"But—"

Jeongin's phone vibrates in Changbin's hand conveniently. They both press against each other in their hurry to read who has just texted. Jeongin tries to take the phone back as soon as he sees the  _ H _ and Changbin starts pushing him away just as fast.

"He sent a smiley face," Changbin reads as they both struggle, "And, look, what a coincidence—" Jeongin is gonna start a petition to remove that word from the english lexicon, "— he just asked if you're doing anything to celebrate."

"Don't you dare."

Changbin does dare. The bastard. He jumps up from Jeongin's bed and zooms to their little living room, the younger running behind him. They get into a cycle of chasing, circling the sofa as Jeongin tries to stop him and Changbin tries to escape from him.

" _ I'm having a party at my place tonight, nothing too big _ ," Changbin quotes his own words as he types them. Jeongin wants to yell, " _ You should come if you're free! _ " 

Jeongin stops running, noticing that Changbin is too focused on the messages to watch where he's really going, and sticks out his foot. The older trips with it when he gets close, just like Jeongin had planned, and lets go of the phone as he falls down knees first with an  _ oof. _ Jeongin picks up the device quickly, opening the chat with hope.

The messages appear as sent.

"This is so embarrassing, Changbin," Jeongin says with a groan, "I hate you."

"You'll thank me later," Changbin exclaims from the floor.

Jeongin's phone vibrates with another message before he can kill his roommate.

**Hyunjin**

_ oh _

**Jeongin**

_ im so sorry  _

_ that was my roommate _

**Hyunjin**

_ hahah its okay _

_ caught me off guard _

**Jeongin**

_ sorry!! _

_ his sole purpose in life is to annoy me _

**Hyunjin**

_ haha don't worryyy _

_ is the invitation not on the table then? _

Jeongin looks up from his phone, meeting Changbin's eyes. Changbin lifts his head from the floor.

"What did he say?" He asks.

"I told him it was you and he asked ' _ is the invitation not on the table then?' _ "

Changbin laughs loudly. Jeongin kicks his ankle.

**Jeongin**

_ oh _

_ you can come if u want _

**Hyunjin**

_ mmm im just teasing u ~~~ _

_ ^-^ _

"He just said he was teasing me," Jeongin says. He forgets he's mad at Changbin in order to actually get someone's help with this conversation.

"He's not," Changbin speaks with the confidence of someone with a degree in  _ Texting A Boy _ , "He's just testing you. Be confident— tell him to come over tonight."

"I don't— Ugh,  _ you _ got me into this mess! I hate you," Jeongin punctuates his statement with another kick to Changbin's ankle.

"Stop kicking me!"

**Jeongin**

_ no really _

_ invitation still stands, even if my roommate was the one to type it  _

**Hyunjin**

_ oh _

_ really??  _

**Jeongin**

_ you can tell seungmin and felix too!  _

_ we're probably just gonna order pizza and drink _

**Hyunjin**

_ :o well it sounds tempting!!! _

_ ill tell them _

_ and ill let you know! _

**Jeongin**

_ okay  _

Jeongin locks his phone and stares at the black screen. 

"What did he say?" Changbin asks, now on his side and resting his head against one of his hands.

"He'll let me know," Jeongin tells him. He blinks down at the phone in his hands like he's never seen one before, "I have no idea what just happened."

Changbin chuckles fondly, "You just invited a cute boy over to your house, that's what happened."

" _ You  _ invited him, if we're being technical," Jeongin argues, "But he's just... a potential friend— I invited  _ a friend _ ."

"Sure, birthday boy."

Tonight is gonna be interesting. 

.

"So let me get this straight."

Minho sits in front of Jeongin, arms folded on the table; Chan is somewhere behind him mixing a drink for himself, though Jeongin knows he's also listening to every word of their conversation; Jisung has his body turned on the sofa, intrigued by Jeongin's story as well and, lastly, Changbin stands against the fridge as he observes, amused. 

Jeongin has his hands on his face, hiding from their judgemental eyes.

"You invited the drunk guy you helped on New Year's Eve to your birthday party," Minho goes on, "And you've talked to him... how many times?"

"Like three times if we don't count the New Years party," Jeongin answers, still refusing to look at them.

"Three times if we don't count the New Years party," Minho repeats. A moment of silence envelops the room, and then: "... Why?"

Jeongin lowers his hands, feeling offended, "You make me sound like I'm insane." 

Minho looks around the room, seemingly meeting eyes with everyone else in it before going back to Jeongin, "Aren't you?"

Jeongin sighs, "Changbin invited him."

"No," Minho says, resolute, "Hyunjin gave you the chance to leave it at something silly your roommate did. You insisted on the invite," He leaves another pause in between, enjoying the dramatics a bit too much, "... Why?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do," Jisung says from his spot on the sofa, "You like him."

"Well, he's nice," Jeongin says defensively, shrugging the accusation off his shoulders, "The few times we've seen each other face to face have been… enjoyable. I wouldn't mind being friends with him."

Minho snorts, "That's really sweet and really middle-school-crush-that-you-don't-realize-is-a-crush-yet of you, but I think we all meant that you think he's hot."

"I don't— I mean, I—" Jeongin sputters, "You would too! He's nice looking, so what?"

"No, I wouldn't," Minho says, crossing his arms over his chest. He lifts his chin up to seem almighty, "I haven't found a man attractive since Chan."

"That's a lie," Chan chimes in from behind his boyfriend, letting a straw fall into his drink and making his way to the table they're all gathered around, "Yesterday he told me if Bear Grylls hit him up he'd leave me."

"Bear Grylls?" Changbin talks for the first time after a while, disgust coating his words.

"It's the survival skills," Jisung says, like that explains everything.

Minho points at the younger with his finger, "Yes, thank you, Jisung. If I got lost in the woods Bear Grylls would get me out alive," He twists his body to face Chan, who stands next to him sipping his drink. He lifts a hand up, making the older look at him, and then caresses his cheek softly, "You would die and then I'd kill myself because life without you is unfathomable to me, my love." 

"That's not the romantic scenario you think it is," Chan says, though he leans down and indulges Minho in a kiss that leaves him chasing after it when he pulls apart, "Also Bear Grylls drinks piss to stay hydrated— what do you have to say about that?"

"It's only for life or death situations!" Minho exclaims indignantly, "It's not like he has lunch with a piss cup next to him."

"We've strayed from the topic at hand," Changbin interrupts, watching the discourse taking place with a mixture of amusement and bewilderment, "Jeongin likes Hyunjin."

Jeongin groans, "You guys are insufferable. I don't like him."

The bell rings. 

Everyone freezes, heads snapping in different directions yet all of them looking straight for the door. Jeongin jumps from his chair, pushing Changbin out of the way in their rush to get there first.  _ I'd rather die than let Changbin do anything else for me _ , he thinks,  _ look how that text turned out _ . 

(Hyunjin had messaged him only three hours after their last text exchange, telling him that Seungmin and Felix had agreed and asking for when and where they should be at. Jeongin had replied with his address and an hour quick enough, getting another smiley face and a _ we'll be there!  _ in return. 

Jeongin still felt lost and like he had no idea what was going on.)

He puts a hand on the doorknob. His heart is beating erratically, though he decides to attribute it to the run and not to the funny feeling his conversation with Minho had left in him. Jeongin shakes his head and pulls the door open.

Hyunjin, Seungmin and Felix stand behind it, all of them showing friendly smiles as soon as Jeongin comes into view. They're dressed casually, jeans and graphic t-shirts, and Felix is carrying two bottles of beer in his hands. 

"Hey, Jeongin," Hyunjin greets him with a small wave of his hand. 

"Hi," Jeongin says, making sure to nod at all three of them and not let the greeting come out as Hyunjin-exclusive.

Seungmin peeks from behind Hyunjin, leaning forward and looking between the two, and then settles his eyes on Jeongin, "Happy birthday."

"Oh, yes," Hyunjin murmurs, embarrassed, "Happy birthday!"

Jeongin chuckles, "Thank you. Come in!" He moves away to leave room for them to step inside, "You can leave your shoes here, if you want," He points at the pile next to the door.

"Where can I put these?" Felix lifts the beer bottles as he takes his shoes off and pushes them near the others. Hyunjin and Seungmin do the same.

"In the fridge. The kitchen is right over there," Jeongin points at the room. He closes the door once he's sure they're all in and then gestures for them to follow him, "That's where everyone is, let's go." 

A chorus of _hi_ and _hello_ erupts as soon as Jeongin's friends see the trio of newcomers, smiles and handshakes being exchanged as they all greet each other. Minho is the one to break the cycle, gasping when he finally tears his eyes away from where they'd been appreciating Chan's biceps and finally lands on the guests' faces.

"Hyunjin?" He asks, confused, "Felix?"

"Minho?" Hyunjin asks back in the same tone, "Hi."

"What are you—" Minho gasps again, connecting the dots. His mouth drops open, " _ You _ are Hyunjin? You're the drunk guy Jeongin helped on New Year's Eve?"

Seungmin snorts, like he's just remembered the night again, and Hyunjin hits his arm before cringing as the memories flood him too, "Do you have to say it that way?"

"Oh, this is… wonderful," Minho says with a smirk, "This is the best day of my life."

Jeongin blinks a couple times, looking around the room to try and find someone just as lost as him. He realizes that everyone except Chan and Felix looks like they have no clue what's happening, and it makes him feel a bit less dumb. Still, he purses his lips and clears his throat.

Felix is the one that takes pity on him and the rest, speaking up first to explain, "We all go to the same dance club."

_ Oh.  _ The previously lost people all nod in unison.  _ Makes sense.  _ For the third time that day, Jeongin feels like his life is not real. He remembers Hyunjin's words from the café,  _ I guess the world really is a small place _ , and wonders how much more it is willing to shrink in order to intertwine his life with Hyunjin's in the oddest ways. 

"Before Minho can terrorize you guys some more," Chan exclaims, "Anyone want anything to drink?"

Seungmin raises his hand, "We brought beer." 

Felix shakes the two bottles in his hold, and Chan beckons him over so they can pop them open. Seungmin follows because he doesn't know what else to do, and shoots Hyunjin a small smile as he leaves him standing alone next to Jeongin.

"Thank you for inviting me— us," Hyunjin speaks up after a fleeting moment of silence, "I know you said it was your roommate… You didn't have to."

"You don't have to thank me for something like that," Jeongin frowns, "And, yeah, it was him at first. But I like you." 

Jeongin lets the words come out of his mouth without thinking— although the  _ thinking _ comes immediately after: Jisung telling him he likes Hyunjin and Minho insisting; not as a friend but as something else. Suddenly, the sentence doesn't mean what he'd intended it to mean. The words  _ you find him hot _ echo in his mind, and he looks away before he can start contemplating Hyunjin's attractiveness as he's standing right next to him. 

(He was honest when he'd said everyone else would think so, too— the boy is undeniably handsome.)

"I mean, like. Like you're... fun to be around," He stumbles over his own words, hand flying up to rub at the back of his neck, "That's why I invited you."

"Thanks," Hyunjin whispers along with a soft chuckle, "Not for the invite, then, but for saying that," Jeongin dares to sneak a glance at the boy and finds that Hyunjin is doing the same. Both of them abruptly look forward as soon as they catch each other's eyes, "I like you, too."

_ Wow _ , Jeongin thinks,  _ my heart's still beating crazily from that run to the door.  _

Huh.

.

Hyunjin knows Jeongin and Minho, Felix knows Minho, Seungmin knows Jisung. Their entangled social circles help to ease the initial awkwardness, and paired with two or three glasses of alcohol running through their system it's no surprise they end up having a heated discussion about pineapple on pizza merely an hour after knowing each other. 

Changbin makes the employee of  _ God's Menu Pizzeria _ on the other side of the phone wait for the verdict.

"You're gross," Hyunjin says, pointing at Jisung, "Gross."

"It's just like any other topping," Jisung sticks his tongue out at him.

"Except it's  _ fruit _ ," Chan shudders at the thought.

"Well, what do you have to say about tomatoes then?" Seungmin chimes in, accidentally shining light on a different discourse.

"Oh, you're one of those people…" Minho looks Seungmin up and down with distaste. 

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Seungmin exclaims, hands thrown up frustratedly at the turn the conversation has taken.

"Those people that believe tomatoes are fruits."

"I mean, they  _ are  _ fruits," Jeongin speaks up. Hyunjin gasps next to him.

"My own blood," Minho laments, clutching his chest in exaggerated fake pain. 

"We are not related."

"Do I order half pineapple or not?" Changbin begs, hoping the innocent dude working the night shift that had had the misfortune of picking up their call hasn't hung up yet.

"Yes," Jisung says, "I'm the one that's gonna eat it, anyway." 

Changbin nods, raising the phone up to his ear again, "Hello?"

"Jesus," The worker says. Maybe Changbin hadn't done a very good job at covering the speakers and microphone like he'd thought, "So, yes to pineapple, then?"

Changbin sighs, "Yeah."

.

Eight glasses of alcohol in, Jeongin notices the ribbon on Hyunjin's hair. 

It's tied up in a half ponytail again. Instead of a typical hair tie, however, a black silky lace is keeping the hair up this time, wrapped around prettily with its long ends mixing with blonde strands every now and then. It bounces along with Hyunjin, who is currently dancing to Twice's What Is Love? in a duo with Minho. 

(Jeongin takes a look down at the glass in his hand. Are his brother's boyfriend and a guy he met at some club when he was meant to pee really dancing together in his house right now, or has he just surpassed his alcohol limits?)

Hyunjin plops down next to him on the couch when the song ends, panting from the effort. The room claps, and Chan goes as far as to wolf whistle for his boyfriend who in turn makes a ' _ call me'  _ gesture— as if they aren't going home together later. Minho drags Felix to the center of the room next, the insatiable dancer that he is, and picks a new song to perform. Jeongin takes another sip from his drink.

"You're a great dancer," He says, directing the compliment at Hyunjin even if he's not looking at him.

Hyunjin smiles, "I was just fooling around. Thanks."

"That was fooling around?" Jeongin asks, genuinely surprised. Hyunjin had looked great, movements precise yet flowing gracefully when necessary. He made a great pair with Minho, "Wow. Then you must look mesmerizing when you're doing it seriously."

Hyunjin's mouth opens a little, eyes wide and cheeks painted in a flustered light pink color. Jeongin knows it's the alcohol making him lose his usual brain to mouth filter, and yet he brings the glass up to his lips again to hide his own burning face, because—  _ there's no way he just said that _ . 

"I still can't believe you know Minho," Jeongin chooses to change the topic of conversation when he's done emptying his drink. Hyunjin blinks rapidly, trying to adjust to the sudden shift. 

"Yeah," Hyunjin says after a moment, bringing his legs up on the couch and making himself more comfortable, twisting his body so he's facing Jeongin fully, "I can't believe you know him, either. How long have you been friends?"

"A bit over five years now," Jeongin answers, finger pointing at Chan sitting on the floor and looking up at Minho dancing like he doesn't want to see anything else ever again, "He's dating my brother."

Hyunjin looks at where he's pointing, following Chan's eyes. He pouts, "That's so cute. They look really happy."

"They're disgustingly in love," Jeongin tries to make it sound like a complaint, but it comes out fond, "So I'll have to deal with Minho for the rest of my life."

Hyunjin giggles, "Good luck with that." 

The sound travels through the air to Jeongin's ears, and it makes his stomach tingle. He gets a bit distracted by the way the ribbon sways with the slight force of laughter, and he finds himself touching it with his fingers before he can command his arm to stop moving. 

"I like your ribbon," He says, patting it twice and then letting his arm fall on the back of the couch and away from Hyunjin's hair. 

Hyunjin looks at him with a slight smile, eyes filled with something funny. He's figured out Jeongin is past tipsy and edging on properly drunk by now, and recognizes he's talking without thinking.

"Thank you," He whispers, touching the fabric himself.

"Jeongin, Jeongin, Jeongin," Minho approaches them with excited jumps, locking his hand around the younger's wrist and pulling, "Come sing with me."

"No," Jeongin whines, trying to free himself, "I'm not drunk enough yet."

"Yes, you are. How many fingers am I holding up?" Minho shows all 5 fingers, though he hides his hand behind his back at the speed of light and before Jeongin can say the number, "See? Can't even tell me that. C'mon, just one song."

"Go, Jeongie!" Changbin cheers him on from his spot on the floor, too, head resting on Felix's shoulder. Jeongin hopes his drunk brain remembers to ask the older about that tomorrow.

"... Jeongie?" Hyunjin asks at the use of the nickname, looking at Jeongin with a confused frown. 

Oh, no. The younger springs to his feet, taking the chance to run away from possibly having to explain why his friends now use that nickname— a nickname Hyunjin had created himself. He uses Minho's arm to help himself off the couch and nods way too eagerly.

"Okay, let's sing."

Minho grins, dragging Jeongin to the one place in the living room he has deemed as the spotlight. He gives him one of the karaoke microphones and grabs the other one himself, quickly typing a song in the YouTube search bar.

" _ Dongbaek agassi? _ " Jeongin groans when he reads the title, "I hate you."

Jeongin had performed the same old trot song when he was 16, in a school event. Just him and the instrumental— it had been one of the most terrifying moments of his life. His parents, brother, and Minho had attended to be his own personal cheer team, but it had only contributed to his nerves. In the end, his voice had cracked during one of the last lines and Jeongin had spent the rest of the day regretting saying  _ yes _ to his music teacher when she'd asked him to sing for the occasion. 

(His mother was so proud of him she'd showed the recording to every possible family member, embarrassing voice crack included. Jeongin had spent years flinching as soon as his mom pulled out her phone. 

Traumatic, if you ask him.)

"For old times' sake," Minho laughs, "And so you can redeem yourself."

Jeongin approaches the small coffee table where their drinks are and picks up a beer, taking a long sip. He points at Chan as he walks back to stand next to Minho, "Channie. Film this and send it to mom."

His brother chuckles, "Okay. She'll be delighted, I'm sure."

Minho hits play, the first notes of the song filling the room. Their friends sway from side to side with the rhythm, awaiting for their voices. Minho and Jeongin sing together, firmly looking at the lyrics on the TV screen. Jeongin knows them from memory still, but he doesn't really know what else to do as he stands performing  _ dongbaek agassi _ again after four years.

Minho, a natural performer, soon starts moving his body to the song, acting passionately and like this is the last time he'll ever be able to sing. Jeongin follows, albeit a bit stiffly in comparison, but eventually relaxes enough to move more comfortably. He begins singing confidently as a result as well, voice rising in volume to be actually heard. Their friends yell encouraging words for them, and it makes Jeongin smile. 

Nearing the end, Jeongin gets so into the song he doesn't notice Minho has stopped singing to look at him, and that now he's the only one performing. He hits the high notes in what he thinks is a pretty good manner (at least for someone who hasn't sang in a long time) and then aces the line that had brought him embarrassment all of this time. The song ends a bit later, sound fading along with the letters on screen. 

Jeongin lowers the microphone and looks around the room.

Immediately, everyone starts cheering. Minho throws an arm around his shoulders and pulls him into a side hug. Changbin takes off his socks and throws them at him, and Jisung tosses his rings while yelling  _ I love you Jeongin! _ Jeongin tries to wiggle himself out of Minho's hold but ends up hugging him back after a futile attempt instead. 

"Did you get it? Did you get it?" Minho asks Chan, who proudly shakes the phone in his hands.

"Got it."

Minho screams  _ wahoo  _ into the microphone he's still holding and then lets Jeongin go after one last tight squeeze. The younger stumbles back to the couch, letting himself fall when he's sure he won't land butt first onto the floor. 

"That was  _ amazing _ ," Hyunjin exclaims next to him, hands balled into excited fists, "Oh my God… You're a wonderful singer!" 

"Thanks. I was just fooling around," Jeongin jokes, throwing Hyunjin's words from before back at him. He hiccups immediately after and Hyunjin laughs.

"Well, then you must sound mesmerizing when you're doing it seriously," Hyunjin says with a wink. Then, as if nothing happened, he stands up and collects both Felix and Seungmin, "Let's do  _ Fancy _ ."

Jeongin is too exhausted to fight the blush creeping up his face. He feels the hotness spreading over his cheeks and presses the heels of his hands against them to try and cool them off. He makes eye contact with Changbin, and the older wiggles his eyebrows. Jeongin sinks further into the couch, arms now crossed over his chest. 

Hyunjin's ribbon bounces to Twice once again and Jeongin can't look away. 

.

**FEB 9TH 2021**

Jeongin wakes up with a slight headache, his forehead throbbing. He tosses and turns in his bed until it becomes intolerable and he has to stand up to get some painkillers. Jeongin pushes himself off of the bed, slides his feet into his slippers and takes his phone with him to the kitchen.

There's a couple Instagram notifications from last night, probably stories his friends had uploaded while they partied and ended up tagging him in. There's also a few unread messages, and he decides to check those first when he sees his mom is one of them. 

Jeongin opens the chat to three texts in a row filled with praises, since apparently Chan had _actually_ sent the video to her. Jeongin blushes, remembering his performance, and quickly types a thank you text back to her. 

The other five are from Hyunjin. It's a series of pictures of both of them— tired, drunken eyes and funny faces on display. The last one is the only normal one, with both of them simply smiling at the camera.

**Hyunjin**

_ [image attached] _

_ [image attached] _

_ [image attached] _

_ [image attached] _

_ [image attached] _

**Jeongin**

_ Good morning _

_ I don't remember taking any of those selfies _

**Hyunjin**

_ It's 2pm _

_Also you insisted on taking them last night so I thought you should have them_ _~~_

_ I think I didn't get to say this before we left, but I had a lot of fun!  _

_ Thank you for inviting us  _

_ I hope you had a nice birthday ^^ _

**Jeongin**

_ Thank you for coming! I'm glad you guys had fun :) _

He locks the phone with a smile and swallows down a painkiller, refilling the glass with water before shuffling back to bed with it in his hands. 

**FEB 12TH 2021**

**Hyujin**

_ Hey what's the name of the song you sang on your birthday _

**Jeongin**

_ Hi  _

_ It's dongbaek agassi  _

**Hyunjin**

_ Thank youuuu omg _

_ It's been stuck in my head all this time it was driving me insane _

_ Anywayyyy ~~ how are you?  _

**Jeongin**

_ I'm fine!!  _

_ Currently solving a jigsaw puzzle with Changbin  _

_ what about you? _

**Hyunjin**

_ Sounds fun _

_ I'm watching some show on Netflix  _

_ Haven't really been paying attention _

_ Any recommendations? _

**Jeongin**

_ Have you watched The Queen's Gambit? _

_ It's good _

"I could use some help," Changbin's voice brings him back to their living room, where they're lying on their bellies surrounded by tiny cardboard pieces, "We have two thousand pieces right here and we've put ten together in total." 

Jeongin rolls his eyes, "We already have one of the horses' faces."

The sudden snowfall that had hit the city had forced them to stay inside all day, their plans of going out for a run together crashing down quickly. It didn't bother Jeongin, who preferred home over anything else, but Changbin had been sulky at the prospect of having to postpone his daily exercise routine. 

Jeongin had remembered the two thousand piece puzzle stacked under his bed with old pairs of shoes and, after successfully convincing Changbin that brain exercise is just as important as physical exercise, the pout had vanished to give place to a childish, excited grin.

"It's missing an eye," Changbin retorts. He discards yet another piece when he tries to fit it where he needs it to and it turns out it isn't the one he's looking for, "What were you doing, anyway?" 

"Hyunjin texted me," Jeongin says, locking his phone and setting it on the floor next to him, screen facing down, "If you find a piece that looks anything like a horse's foot let me know."

"Will do. What did Hyunjin say?" Changbin picks up a piece and brings it close to his narrowed eyes, looking at it for a moment before pushing it towards the younger, "Is that a horse foot?"

Jeongin lowers his head to inspect it, "I think it's just part of a rock," He goes back to rummaging through the pile of pieces closest to him, "And— nothing much. He just asked for the name of the song I sang on my birthday and then asked me how I was doing."

"Him and his friends were fun," Changbin comments as he slowly but surely starts piecing part of a tree together, "They fit with us easily."

"Yeah, I thought it would be more awkward. But they're cool," Jeongin nods to his own words absentmindedly. He suddenly remembers what he'd seen that night and smirks. He clears his throat and pretends to go back to casually looking through puzzle pieces, kicking his feet in the air, "What was up with you and Felix, by the way?"

Changbin makes a noise, kind of like a caught-off-guard squeak he definitely didn't mean to let out. Jeongin keeps looking down at the one-eyed horse innocently, though his evil smile sure gives away his real intentions. The older coughs.

"What do you mean?"

"C'mon," Jeongin says, meeting his eyes with a deadpan look, "Head on his shoulder, all cuddled up…"

Changbin rolls his eyes, but the red color painting the tips of his ears doesn't lie, "You were flirting with Hyunjin all night and I didn't say anything."

"I wasn't flirting," Jeongin argues.

" _ You must look mesmerizing when you're doing it seriously _ ," Changbin quotes him word for word, batting his eyelashes and making kissing sounds.

It's Jeongin's turn to squeak pathetically. Changbin laughs at his reaction, happy to have turned the conversation around. 

"I was just complimenting him," He says, looking down at the pieces to avoid showing his frown. Everything his friends say makes his newfound friendship with Hyunjin sound like something Jeongin doesn't think it is, and yet apparently he unknowingly contributes to it.  _ You're flirting. You find him hot. You like him _ . 

Jeongin's got his fair share of romantic experiences from earlier teenage years, and he doesn't think he understands it all a lot anyway— but he's pretty sure he doesn't feel like he'd felt with those other people. 

Jeongin feels nervous around Hyunjin in the way he's always felt when he meets someone new and, considering the circumstances of their first meeting, he thinks it's actually impressive that they can even look at each other in the eyes. 

Embarrassment, in their situation, is more of a context thing and not a feelings thing, he thinks. The memories of that night still linger in the back of their heads when they talk— or, at least, that's the case for Jeongin— and it brings the same bashfulness Jeongin had felt when he first got called an  _ ice prince _ and Hyunjin's own shame at his drunken actions and words, dripping a bit of both in their new interactions.

They talk to each other like two people who happened to meet in an odd way and are slowly building a friendship from it.  _ That's it. _

"Just look for that horse foot," Jeongin says in the end.

.

With half the puzzle done, Changbin takes a quick bathroom break. Jeongin sees his life flash before his eyes when Changbin wobbles as he stands up and almost kicks and ruins their hours of hard work. They hold their breaths, hearts beating fast, and let out a sigh of relief when Changbin finds balance just in time. The older runs to the toilet before he can actually cause damage.

Jeongin picks up his phone again, realizing he'd left Hyunjin hanging mid-conversation with a pang of guilt. He opens their chat to a couple unread messages and shifts on the floor into a sitting position so he can read them comfortably.

**Hyunjin**

_ Omg _

_ Seungmin is obsessed with it _

_ He called his mom the other day to ask if they still had his old chess set from when he was a little kid and everything _

_ Hey _

_ Are you doing anything tomorrow? _

**Jeongin**

_ uuh, I don't think so _

_ why? _

**Hyunjin**

_ This might be weird _

_ But do you wanna go to the ice rink with me? _

_ Seungmin and Felix are busy :( and it snowed so so much today it made me miss it _

**Jeongin**

_ I've never been _

**Hyunjin**

_ Jeongin??????  _

_ There's no way????? _

_ You're coming then right  _

**Jeongin**

_ Hahah yeah, why not _

_ sounds fun! _

**Hyunjin**

_ I'll pick you up at like 7 _

_ is that okay? _

_ Sorry im just realizing i probably came off too strong >.< _

_ just got really excited _

_ it's okay if you're busy too _

_ or if you don't want to _

**Jeongin**

_ Promise I'm not busy _

_ and i wanna go!!! _

_ 7 is okay :) _

**Hyunjin**

_ great ^^ _

_ See you tomorrow then ~ _

**Jeongin**

_ byebyeee _

He hears the toilet flushing as he sets his phone down next to him. Changbin comes out seconds later zipping his pants up and carefully tiptoes his way back to his spot without endangering their puzzle. They begin scanning the remaining pieces again almost immediately, both of them invested in completing the image the same day.

"Have you ever been ice skating?" Jeongin asks after a moment. Changbin hums as he thinks.

"Once or twice when I was little," He replies, "Why?"

Jeongin shrugs, "Just wondering."

.

**FEB 13TH 2021**

"Jeongie!" Changbin yells from outside the younger's room. Jeongin looks up from where he's tying his shoelaces, "Hyunjin is here."

"Coming," He yells back, making sure the knot is strong before standing up. He grabs his phone, keys and wallet and takes one last look in the full body mirror, assessing his outfit. 

Jeongin thinks he looks a bit overdressed, but he knows ice rinks tend to be colder than the outside, so he'd thrown in a scarf and a beanie on top of his puffy jacket and jeans for good measure. The weather is chilly even in the streets, so maybe it's actually not that exaggerated. 

That's what he thinks before he sees Hyunjin. 

The older is dressed in jeans, like him, but he only wears a sweater under the long, fashionable coat Jeongin recognizes from the first time they met up at the café. No gloves, no scarf, no beanie— blonde hair tied up in a full ponytail with the exception of two small, thin braids framing Hyunjin's face. 

"I feel like we're going to two different places," Jeongin says, motioning between the two.

"Yeah, you're going to Antarctica and Hyunjin's going to a fashion runway," Changbin joins from the couch, "You look cute, though."

Jeongin gets close enough to smack his head. Nonetheless, immediately after he says: "Thanks."

Hyunjin chuckles, standing at the door with an amused smile. Jeongin bites his lips, looking down at his outfit again.

"Should I change?" He asks out loud. Hyunjin starts shaking his head.

"No, you're fine," He assures him, "It's probably gonna get colder in there, so you're well prepared."

"Okay, then—" Jeongin pats his pockets, making sure everything important is where it's supposed to be, "We can go, I think. Bin, I'll be back later."

Changbin sends him a flying kiss, "Have fun, baby."

Jeongin fake gags.

He and Hyunjin step out of Jeongin's apartment, shuddering at the cool breeze blowing gently that hits them as soon as the door opens a crack. Jeongin immediately puts his hands inside the pockets of his jacket, trying to keep them warm for as long as possible. 

"Lead the way," He tells Hyunjin. The older grins.

Hyunjin is practically bouncing in excitement as they walk side by side, coat flowing behind him. Jeongin keeps the lower part of his face buried in his scarf, shielding his nose from the cold, and smiles behind it at the other boy's enthusiasm. It's surprisingly contagious, with the way Jeongin finds himself eager to arrive even if he has no previous experience and will most probably end up embarrassing himself. Hyunjin describes the ice rink like a mythical, magical place. 

"I haven't been there in so long," He says, voice now edging on nostalgic, "I think I won't even remember how to stand on ice."

"Did you use to come here often?" Jeongin asks.

"Yes, with my friends," Hyunjin nods, "But we've all been so busy lately, with studies and stuff. Seungmin even got a job a couple months ago, so that's one less ice buddy. Felix and I have the dance club, too, and that requires a lot of time."

Jeongin hums in understanding, "But you finally found a chance, at least."

Hyunjin's happy smile is quickly back on his face, "Yeah. It's the weekend, you know? So I thought I should finally visit the ice rink again, since I've wanted to for a while," He nudges Jeongin's shoulder with his, "Thank you for coming with me, by the way. I know I just— came out of nowhere. I feel like I do that a lot with you."

"You do, don't you?" He says it as a light hearted joke, but something akin to guilt shadows Hyunjin's features, so he quickly adds on, "It's fun," Jeongin returns the shoulder nudge with a kind smile.

Jeongin had seen the ice rink from outside many times on his early commute to school, the big sign outside always making him turn to take a look: the image of a skater couple with big smiles on their faces and their hair blowing with their speed on full display. Jeongin stares up at it now, too, as they approach the entrance. Hyunjin opens the door skillfully, with enough strength behind his push to easily let it slide to make way for them. It's obvious he's done it more than a dozen times. 

The reception— the room before the ice rink— is warm, a fireplace burning vividly somewhere in a corner. There are a couple teens gathered around it with mugs on their hands, chatting amicably among themselves. It all looks very cozy. Hyunjin tugs his sleeve as a sign for him to follow, so Jeongin tears his eyes away and trails behind the older. 

"Hi, Hyunjin," The girl at the desk greets him cheerily. She and Hyunjin fist bump, and it almost looks like they've done it so often it now seems like second nature, "Hadn't seen you here in a while."

"Hey, Ryujin. Been busy," Hyunjin says with a shrug, "But I'm here now, and I brought a friend."

"Hello!" Ryujin smiles at him, enthusiastically waving her hand. Jeongin feels a bit ridiculous looking at her dressed in a t-shirt while he's drowning in his winter clothes. He waves back shyly, shaking the scarf out of his face so he can also return the smile, "I'm Ryujin, it's nice to meet you."

"Jeongin. It's nice to meet you, too."

"He's a first timer," Hyunjin says. Ryujin's eyes sparkle.

" _ Ooh _ , exciting," Ryujin pulls out a notebook from under the desk, probably where they keep track of the many people that come in daily, "There's just two of you, right?"

"Yup," Hyunjin nods. He twists his body to face Jeongin, who's been standing a bit behind him this whole time, "What's your shoe size?"

"Oh, uh," Jeongin looks down at his feet, "Like a... 250?"

Ryujin scribbles something down on the notebook and then closes it shut, lifting the pen back to rest on her ear. She motions for them to follow her, taking a quick turn to the right and walking into the place designated to put on the skates. She goes straight to two different pairs and sets them down on the wooden floor next to them. Ryujin doesn't spare a second look at Hyunjin, but she spends a bit more time comparing the skates to Jeongin's foot with a professional look. 

"I think they'll fit," She confirms at last, "Do you need help putting them on?" She catches Jeongin's embarrassed twist of his mouth and chuckles kindly, "Don't worry. It's hard at first, and I do this all the time. It's common for first timers to need help, and it's actually better to get assistance because they need to be properly tied up to be safe."

"I can help him," Hyunjin says, already almost done getting his skates on. His shoes are neatly placed together, and Ryujin picks those up without second thought, throwing them in the space where Hyunjin's skates used to be.

"Alright," Ryujin says, "Call if you need me, anyways. And have fun! The rink isn't that full, so you'll have lots of space to practice the first steps."

She leaves for the desk, where a new group of people is waiting to be let into the ice rink. Jeongin toes his own shoes off and puts them where he'd seen Ryujin grab his skates from, copying her actions. He walks back to the bench and slides his socked feet into the skates, wiggling his toes a bit to get used to the unfamiliar feeling. 

Hyunjin pats his own leg when Jeongin's done, signaling for him to put his feet there. Struggling and carefully making sure the blade is nowhere near Hyunjin's body, Jeongin does just that.

"They might feel uncomfortable at first," Hyunjin tells him as he begins tying the skates, "But you get used to it after a couple minutes, promise."

"Do we have to walk to the ice rink in these?" Jeongin asks, eyeing the blades intensely and trying to figure out how is he gonna manage to move, "I feel like my skating career is gonna end before I can even step onto ice."

Hyunjin laughs, "Walking is easy, you'll see."

.

He's right. Walking  _ is  _ easy, which is why the moment Jeongin finally feels the ice beneath his feet replace the previous comfort of a non-slippery wooden floor, he saunters awkwardly in a penguin-like fashion until his hands latch onto the rails propped along the walls for support.

Hyunjin skates gracefully until he's standing in front of him, "What's your first impression?"

"Cold," Jeongin says, blowing softly and watching as his hot breath leaves a smoke-like trace in the cold air enveloping the ice rink, "Also, this might be the day I die." 

"You won't die," Hyunjin says with a light chuckle. He stretches his arms forward and makes grabby hands at Jeongin, "Give me your hands. I'll help you."

Jeongin pulls his scarf back up over his nose first. It's cold, but that doesn't mean Jeongin's blush won't show at all. He lifts one hand from the railing and slowly reaches for Hyunjin's, concentrating on keeping his feet still. Hyunjin slots their hands together, giving him a squeeze, and waits patiently for Jeongin to fully let go.

"How many people have died learning how to skate?" Jeongin says, his right hand still holding on tightly.

"None," Hyunjin assures him. Jeongin's pretty sure he's lying— this feels like something people can  _ definitely _ die doing, "As long as you don't let go of my hands, you're fine, Jeongie."

The nickname rolls off of Hyunjin's tongue so easily it shocks him, skates suddenly gliding against ice. Jeongin squeaks, immediately scrambling to hold onto something. Hyunjin finds his hand and pulls, effectively helping him regain balance. 

"See?" Hyunjin says.

"See what?" Jeongin exclaims, heart still beating fast in his chest, "That I was right? I almost died."

Hyunjin rolls his eyes with a smile, "That I'm right next to you. I got you."

Hyunjin begins skating backwards at a slow pace, tugging Jeongin along with him. Jeongin curses under his breath, keeping his head down to watch his feet and try to make them work. He manages to slide smoothly every now and then but every time, immediately after, he starts panicking and involuntarily twists his skates in a way that sends him flying into Hyunjin's arms. 

He's gonna die in that ice rink, for sure, but now he's not so sure about the cause.

"Don't walk. Slide. Your feet kinda have to open, if that makes sense," Hyunjin talks him through the process, slim fingers always wrapped around Jeongin's, "Don't slide straight 'cuz it doesn't work like that, like… Ugh, I'm bad at explaining."

"Show me," Jeongin says.

"Huh?"

"You skate. I'll watch."

Hyunjin narrows his eyes at the younger, "You just want an excuse to stand by the rails."

"Definitely," Jeongin admits, making them both laugh. Hyunjin starts pulling him back to what Jeongin has deemed the safe zone, "I suck at this."

"You just need practice," Hyunjin argues, letting go of his hands so Jeongin can grab the railing, "Next time we come here, you'll do much better."

_ Next time.  _ Something warm and light starts in Jeongin's stomach and spreads all the way to his fingertips, making him tighten his grip until his knuckles go white. 

Hyunjin is friendly beyond Jeongin's conception of the word, giving and gaining trust with minimal effort. The younger already feels the pull of affection tugging at his sleeve; has maybe felt it since he saw Hyunjin's face light up when he got his number on a napkin. Jeongin was truthful when he said Hyunjin is a friend to him, even if he'd had his doubts on whether they could classify as such so quickly— now, however, with every minute they spend together the statement only seems to solidify at an impressive speed. 

"I'll do a lap or two and I'll be back," Hyunjin lingers around him until he's sure Jeongin is steady, then he begins skating away, "Don't slip and die."

Jeongin almost does just that, momentarily losing his balance again, "Hyunjin!" He yells after him, eyes wide and accusatory, but can't help the wide smile on his mouth when he sees Hyunjin turn around skillfully and begin skating backwards only to giggle in his face, "Show off."

"This is nothing," Hyunjin shouts before facing forward again, twisting his head to throw one last look at Jeongin over his shoulder as he gains speed, "Keep your eyes on me!"

Jeongin doesn't think he would be able to look anywhere else even if he tried to.

.

Friendship with Hyunjin blossoms brightly and almost unintentionally like flowers do in Spring, with the help of random outings and laughs that bubble pleasantly within you. It's fun, and it's  _ easy.  _

Jeongin finds that he doesn't mind it at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! back with chapter 2! chapter 3 is still in the making, and it'll probably take me a while to finish, so sorry in advance for the possible (most probable) long wait :( 
> 
> hope u enjoy this one in the meantime!

**MARCH 20TH 2021**

Jeongin manages to knock twice on Hyunjin's door before it flies open, leaving his fist hanging in the air in surprise. All Jeongin sees is the dark inside of the apartment and then an arm materializing in front of him, wrapping around his wrist and pulling him towards the abyss.

"We thought you were Hyunjin, dumbass."

His eyes are still struggling to get used to the drastic lack of lighting in comparison to the brightly illuminated corridor he was in seconds ago. Still, he can recognize Seungmin's voice perfectly well. 

"Why would Hyunjin knock on his own door?" He says, making a valid point. Seungmin doesn't like it. He closes the door behind Jeongin and pushes him further inside. 

Eventually, the black hole that is Hyunjin's home starts making more sense, the outline of many silhouettes appearing in Jeongin's vision. They're all hiding in different spots— some behind a couch, some under a table— and waiting patiently in what looks like extremely uncomfortable positions. Jeongin joins the group behind the sofa, figuring it's the one that'll make his back hurt less, and crouches next to them. 

"Hey," He whispers as a general greeting. 

"Jeongin?" Felix's unmistakable deep voice comes from somewhere next to him, "You made it!"

"Yeah, sorry, I ran all the way here as soon as I saw the time."

"It's okay, you still got here before him which is what matters. Hyunjin's gonna be happy to see you."

Someone in the Sofa Group shushes them. Felix makes an offended sound in the back of his throat, probably readying himself to ask whoever had dared a defensive ' _ who did you just shhh?'  _ when the sound of keys struggling to fit in the lock makes them all freeze. Jeongin shrinks himself as much as possible. 

Hyunjin's feet cast a shadow that sneaks underneath the door and into the room full of an expecting crowd, making them all anxiously grab onto what is closest to them as they wait for the perfect moment to jump out of their spots. Finally the lock turns, and the boy of the night pushes the door open with a sigh. 

"Stupid keys," Hyunjin mumbles to himself (and, unbeknownst to him, to at least ten more people hiding strategically around his house) and switches the lights on.

"Surprise! Happy birth— Holy shit."

"What the fuck?" Hyunjin screams, shopping bags flying from his grip and spilling their contents on the floor. He raises a hand up to rest over his heart, eyes wide in shock, and slowly scans the many people scattered around his apartment, "What— hi."

Jeongin's mouth hangs open, as does everyone else's in the room. There's nothing out of the ordinary about Hyunjin at first glance (still making a simple outfit look like it belongs on the cover of Vogue, as Jeongin has learned is the usual) but it takes everyone approximately 0.5 seconds to spot the difference. In what Jeongin deems as the most rational response to the situation, Felix screeches incoherently for a brief moment.

"What the hell?" Seungmin asks, standing at the center of the Hyunjin's Surprise Birthday Party Invitees; their momentary leader, the only one able to produce actual words, "When?"

Hyunjin looks confused, "When what?"

"Your hair…" Jeongin speaks up, voice barely a whisper. He's still in awe, "Your hair is black."

Hyunjin blinks twice, thrice, and then his eyes go wide, "Right! I forgot I did that." 

"When?" Seungmin asks again, "You were still blonde last time I saw you—  _ five hours ago _ ."

"I just got out of the hairdresser," He replies, tucking a strand behind his ear, "New year, new me, isn't what they say?"

"We're in March already." 

Hyunjin grins, tilting his body slightly to one side and doing jazz hands at the collective of shocked faces still staring at him like he's grown a second head, "Surprise to you guys too!"

Everyone blinks.

Jeongin is the first one to let out a snort, and it quickly develops into a full series of chuckles. Felix follows, then a couple other people join in, and soon enough the room is laughing together and finally approaching Hyunjin to wish him a Happy Birthday— the reason they're all there in the first place. 

Jeongin waits patiently by the sides for his turn, not wanting to further overwhelm Hyunjin who struggles to hug every one of his friends surrounding him at the moment. Seungmin and Felix stand next to him, too, probably because they've already had their time to dote on the birthday boy all day and want to let others have their moment as well. 

"Where's Changbin?" Felix asks Jeongin as all three of them watch Hyunjin get his cheeks pinched and hair played with in amazement.

(The older was supposed to come with Jeongin, since he'd invited himself under the excuse that  _ Hyunjin's friends came to your birthday so I should go to his.  _ Jeongin had asked Seungmin first, because he knew the boy had been stressing about the surprise party for weeks and any sudden change would've made him implode. 

Seungmin had left him hanging for two days only to text back  _ Ok  _ at four in the morning on a Wednesday.)

"His sister came to visit last minute," Jeongin answers. 

"It's okay, Lix," Seungmin says, voice coated in over-the-top sweetness, "We can throw a second birthday party for Hyunjin just so you can see him."

Felix flushes red from head to toe and grumpily crosses his arms over his chest, "I was just asking a question."

"Okaaaay," Jeongin stretches the word, lifting both eyebrows at the same time.

He and Seungmin share a look. 

As Jeongin's friendship with Hyunjin grew, so did Jeongin's relationship with Seungmin and Felix. (Inevitably. Seungmin and Felix are always showing up at their best friend's house when the younger is also there— Jeongin doesn't know if they are friends too or if they're just people he shares exasperated looks with when Hyunjin is being whiny about something minimal.) Which is why he's comfortable around both boys; at least enough to joke and lightly tease each other like this. 

Hyunjin manages to pull away from the circle of people at some point, leaving them chatting amongst each other. He walks over to them and throws his arms around Felix, resting his chin on his shoulder.

"My hair was touched by so many people it doesn't feel mine anymore," He says with a pout. Felix lifts a hand up to pat his cheek.

"Happy Birthday," Jeongin says, feeling like this is the only time he's gonna find a chance to actually congratulate him. The birthday person always has to divide their time to fit every guest, and he's sure Hyunjin won't be the exception. Especially with the amount of friends he apparently has— Jeongin's small count of four (one of them being his brother, and another his brother's boyfriend) paling in comparison.

Hyunjin smiles and detaches himself from Felix enough to wrap one arm around Jeongin's shoulders too, "Thank you, Jeongie. I'm glad you're here."

"Of course. Wouldn't miss it," Jeongin smiles back, "Also, Changbin told me to tell you he's sorry he couldn't make it. He was gonna come too, but his sister showed up at our apartment unannounced."

"Oh! It's okay," Hyunjin pats Felix's shoulder twice, "Better luck next time, Lix."

Felix pushes his hands away from him, clearly offended, "Stop! I don't want to see him. God, we just talked once! At Jeongin's birthday party! It's not like— like I like him or something!"

Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin share a look.

**APRIL 9TH 2021**

Hyunjin has also kind of developed a strange relationship with Changbin, thanks to the increasing visits he pays Jeongin on a weekly basis. 

They greet each other like normal every time, all bright smiles and waves as Hyunjin crosses the threshold, but somehow along the accumulating hours Hyunjin had started to spend in their apartment, Changbin had discovered Hyunjin is physically incapable of losing a game of rock, paper, scissors. Which is why now, at random times, Changbin jumps out of nowhere and challenges Hyunjin to impromptu matches in hope's that one day he'll catch him off guard. 

He hasn't won once. 

But if there's an adjective fitting for Changbin, it is  _ determined _ , which is why Jeongin is not even surprised anymore when the older opens the door to his room abruptly and screams  _ rock, papers, scissors _ at Hyunjin, who lies on his belly on Jeongin's bed while watching a show. To Jeongin's amusement and Changbin's misfortune, all Hyunjin does is look up, clearly unbothered and calm, and pull paper. Changbin's pathetic rock is defeated gracefully and in one hit.

"How?" Changbin groans, hopeless, and lets himself fall to his knees dramatically.

"I swear I don't know," Hyunjin's voice sounds tired, making it obvious he's been saying the same thing over and over again, "Luck…?"

Changbin narrows his eyes at him, "I'll discover your secret someday." And then he gets out of Jeongin's room and closes the door behind him without another word, as if he hasn't created such an odd routine between the two for no real reason other than being beyond stubborn. 

"Well," Jeongin says, unpausing Netflix so he and Hyunjin can continue watching The Queen's Gambit like they'd been doing before Changbin barged in, "That was the first one of the day."

Hyunjin chortles, "It's so funny. I honestly look forward to this every time I come here." 

Jeongin scoffs, "So you don't visit because of me, but because I have a weird roommate."

"I also come here for you, of course!" Hyunjin says cheerfully. His voice drops to a whisper for his next sentence, though it's simultaneously terribly loud— obviously on purpose and so Jeongin can hear, "But it's mainly for Changbin." 

Jeongin pushes his shoulder playfully, and Hyunjin lets his body roll until he's fully on his back on Jeongin's mattress, laughing softly with his eyes crinkled into crescent moons. His black hair blends with Jeongin's dark blankets, and it makes his smooth, pale complexion all the more prominent. Jeongin vaguely remembers Seungmin calling Hyunjin  _ Little Prince _ on New Year's Eve and he can't help but think, as he looks down at the boy in his bed, that his prince-like appearance has only been accentuated since the drastic change of hair color. 

(It's still a shock to the younger every time he opens the door to a black haired Hyunjin, maybe because his blonde mop of hair had been the first thing to call Jeongin's attention the night they met. He remembers tying it up for him in the bathroom and the sway of Hyunjin's ponytail as he left the club with his friends; the flow of its fall over Hyunjin's shoulders, and the black ribbon he'd worn on his birthday. Jeongin pictures the same accessory on his now black hair and wonders how hard it'd be to tell what's actually part of the ribbon and what's just a shiny strand of hair. Perhaps under the touch…)

"What?" Hyunjin asks, successfully pulling him out of his wandering thoughts. Jeongin realizes he's been staring at his friend this entire time and quickly pulls his eyes away, "Do I have something on my face?" 

"Cookie crumbs," Jeongin muses, because now that he steals another desperate glance at Hyunjin's face looking for an excuse, he luckily finds that there really are a couple crumbs from the cookies they've been munching on clinging to the corners of his mouth. He points at his own lips with his index finger, "Here."

Hyunjin rolls his body to lie on his belly again and drags the back of his hand over his mouth harshly. He's blushing, Jeongin notices. They don't say anything else, choosing to focus on the intense chess tournament happening in the show.

("Do you have a secret for the rock, paper, scissors thing or is it really just luck?" Jeongin asks Hyunjin after Changbin loses for the third time that day to Hyunjin's bored hand.

"It was luck at first," Hyunjin tells him, inching closer to the younger and lowering his voice. Jeongin's lips curl into an amused smile at his antics, but he plays along nonetheless, tilting his head to hear more closely, "But then I realized he plays with a pattern. Rock, scissors, paper. In that order."

Jeongin lets out a disbelieving laugh, "No way."

"Seriously! I don't think he knows, though."

"So… all this time... it's just been him being predictable?"

"Yup." 

"Wow."

"..."

"..."

"... Don't tell him."

"Oh, I won't. I wanna see how long it takes for him to figure it out.")

**APRIL 21ST 2021**

Doongie jumps on the couch and climbs on top of Jeongin, kneading his belly with her paws before folding her legs beneath her body and making herself comfortable. Jeongin drags his hand along her back only twice, because he knows she'll jump off if he pets her too much, and that she would also leave if he didn't touch her at least once. Content, the cat closes her eyes. 

"Yes, love, I fed them," Chan says as he talks on the phone. By the topic of conversation (and the very cheesy petname), Jeongin can only guess it's Minho, "They're sleeping. Doongie has claimed Jeongin. Mhm. He got here like… half an hour ago?" He turns to face his brother with a questioning look. Jeongin nods, "Yeah. Okay. We'll be here. Oh, Min! Do you think you can pick up any cereal on your way here? We ran out," Chan waits for the answer as he stands in front of the open cabinets, "Great. See you. Love you."

"Minho?" Jeongin asks, even if he already knows the answer. Doongie purrs in her sleep, burying her face in Jeongin's clothes.

"Yup. He's coming home in a bit," Chan walks over and sits down on the couch next to him. He pets Doongie lightly, making her ears twitch, "They got a bit carried away at the dance studio."

It's in time like this, when Jeongin sits at his brother's house— the house he shares with his boyfriend, with whom he's been in a stable 5 year long relationship; the house they pay for together with their very much adult jobs and money; the house they've lived in so much it's common to call it their  _ home _ —, that he becomes aware of the four year gap between them. 

Growing up, Jeongin had rarely felt the difference in age between him and his brother. Chan, unlike anything Jeongin had heard from his friends' descriptions of their older siblings, was always happy to involve Jeongin in his plans. He often let Jeongin sit around in his room while he and his friends hung out, and always included him in the games Jeongin could participate in. Chan introduced him as "Jeongin, my brother" and never said _ little _ , which kid Jeongin loved. 

(Okay, actually— There was a period of time in Jeongin's life, when he was around 14, in which Chan had suddenly distanced himself from him seemingly for no reason. For the first time ever, Jeongin had gotten a firm "No" as a reply when he'd asked Chan if he could go out with him. He'd dismiss Jeongin with a dry "I'm busy" and keep the door to his room closed, even when Jeongin would knock on it to tell him he'd built something new on Minecraft. It'd gotten to the point where even their mom had realized they weren't talking to each other like usual, and after finding Jeongin crying in his room she'd decided it was enough.

Two days later, Chan and Jeongin sat down on Jeongin's bed. There, surrounded by superhero posters and figurines, Chan had told him everything.

"I met a boy I like," He'd said, "And it's been making me act a bit silly... He makes me feel like I've never felt before, and it's scary. But I know it's not an excuse for the way I've treated you lately. Innie, I'm so sorry."

Jeongin had hugged Chan then, even if it was something they rarely did, because his brother's eyes had started to pool with tears and it was a sight Jeongin didn't like to see. 

"I forgive you."

"Just like that?" Chan had chuckled wetly, patting the younger's back affectionately, "You're too good, Innie. Isn't there something you want?"

"Well… There's this new video game—"

"Something within my budget as an 18 year old."

"Fine," Jeongin had sighed dramatically, "Then… Can I meet him? The boy?"

"Of course," Chan had nodded enthusiastically, "You know… I have a feeling you and Minho are gonna be great friends.")

But, yeah. If Jeongin leaves that behind, the only time he was reminded of the difference growing up was when their parents would send him up to his room because a movie was  _ for grown ups _ , but then they'd let Chan stay. If anything, he feels it more now as a 20 year old— which is probably for the better, seeing as it doesn't bother him like it would've back when he was 15 and mad at the world. 

He's sure his angst-filled diary would've heard all about it at some point. 

.

Minho walks through the door ten minutes into Jeongin and Chan's mindless Netflix scrolling, and he's wearing the same shirt he was wearing the first time Jeongin saw him. It's a bit tighter on him now, having gained the muscles his lanky 17 year old body lacked, but it sends Jeongin back in time anyway.  _ Hi, Jeongin. I'm Minho! Your brother talks about you so much that I feel like I already know you. _

Doongie jumps from her place on Jeongin's stomach to greet her owner, and he's sure Chan would also hop his way to his boyfriend if it weren't for the lapful of Soonie he's currently dealing with.

"Hi, baby!" Minho coos, bending down to scratch her chin. He takes off his shoes, not minding where he leaves them, and walks closer to the couch so he can pinch the brothers' cheeks, "My favorite Bangs."

"We're the only Bangs you know," Jeongin says, shaking his head to get Minho's hand off of him.

"Not true. I also know your parents."

Chan laughs fondly, "How was dance?"

Minho's face lights up. He circles the couch to plop down right next to Jeongin, effectively sandwiching him between him and Chan. Jeongin would think about complaining about how sweaty Minho is if it weren't for how giddy he looks. 

"It was great," Minho exclaims, "I'm actually glad Jeongin is here, because I got good news today."

Chan raises an inquisitive eyebrow, "Oh?"

"Do tell," Jeongin encourages him to go on.

"Okay," Minho bites his lower lip, but the smile he's trying to hide is still there, insisting on showing his happiness no matter what, "Okay! So… you know Hyuna? The owner of the dance club, basically? She's been very busy lately, and sometimes our practices have to be without her. Apparently she's struggling to keep up with every group she has on her plate, and I get it, because handling the time, preparing classes for different levels, and handling the students  _ must _ be really hard," Minho's apparently close to the climax of his story, because he's squeezing Jeongin's arm a bit too tightly in excitement, "Today she came up to me, though, and she asked me if I wanted to take up the kid's classes. As in, if I wanted to teach."

Jeongin understands the suspense and build up Minho had put behind his retelling now, because this is huge for him. He knows how much Minho loves dancing, and how miserable he is at his current job— sure, it pays the bills, but Minho's clearly built for so much more, and his talent shouldn't be kept to himself. 

Chan screams in his ear before Jeongin can even utter  _ congrats _ .

"Really? Seriously?" Chan sports a blinding smile and the same sparkling eyes as his boyfriend.

"She told me she's been watching me all these years and that I've always caught her attention. She thinks I'm fit for it, and she'd pay me, and it'd be a huge help to her and a good way for me to start—" Minho's giggles interrupt him, overflowing with joy.

"You said yes, right?" Jeongin asks, realizing Minho hasn't actually told them if he's accepted the offer or not. He can only assume he did, but the lack of confirmation makes Jeongin's stomach turn anyway— this would be so good for Minho, "You did say yes?"

"Of course I did!"

Jeongin really feels like a sandwich then, as Chan stretches his arms to reach his boyfriend for a hug and Minho lets himself be pulled. Still, he knows it's on purpose and that he's meant to be squished between them. Jeongin lets it happen (and if he moves to hug Minho too... no one needs to know).

"I'm happy for you, Minho," He says, and he means it. Jeongin can playfully argue with him all he wants, but he won't ever be able to hide how much he genuinely cares, "Those kids are never gonna miss a class with you."

"It's true, it's true," Chan agrees, "Best teacher ever."

Jeongin hears the sound of them kissing over his head and lets out an  _ ew _ that makes the couple laugh, "Please, not when I'm literally sitting in the middle of you two."

"Shut up," Chan pinches his arm, "I bet you kiss Hyunjin, too."

Jeongin groans, lifting his hands up to rub at his face, "Me and Hyunjin are not dating," He insists, like he's been doing since day one, "Not romantically involved— not involved in any way that isn't in a friendship."

"Okay, sure," Minho says, even if it sounds beyond sarcastic, "Then stop texting your  _ friend _ during dance practice, because he spent the first twenty minutes of today's meeting checking if  _ Jeongie  _ had messaged him back."

Like clockwork, Jeongin's phone screen lights up with a message from  _ Hyunjin _ . The three of them turn to stare at the device on the small coffee table.  _ Walking home from dance _ , the text reads,  _ do u wanna do anything tonight? _

Jeongin sinks deeper into the couch, and Chan and Minho certainly don't waste the opportunity to start teasing him again. 

**APRIL 30TH 2021**

Jeongin learns many things by being Hyunjin's friend. 

(He learns the way to Hyunjin's apartment building by memory. He learns about Hyunjin's impressive cooking skills when the older makes dinner for both of them one night, only with what he's got in his kitchen, and it still turns out  _ delicious _ . He learns that he'll find hair ties around his own house after almost every hang out because Hyunjin can't ever seem to remember where he leaves them. He learns that Hyunjin can't really hide how he feels, face too expressive of what he likes and doesn't like even when they're just watching the ads that play at the movie theatre before the actual film starts. He learns the way he laughs, and the way he smiles, and—)

Above all, he learns that he's a very touchy person.

It's not anything new for Jeongin, who lives with Changbin and survives his affectionate nature daily, but his heart still jumps in his chest the first time Hyunjin casually throws his arms around Jeongin's neck from behind while they're waiting in line to order ice cream. Jeongin tries to calm his heartbeat without alerting the older of its quickened pace, and when they get their cones and Hyunjin has to let go of him his shoulders feel weirdly light.

It's not just with him, of course: Plenty of times Jeongin has walked into Hyunjin's house to find him asleep half on top of Seungmin on the couch, or fully on top of Felix as they hug while watching a movie. Two days ago, when Hyunjin had decided from the kindness of his soul that he'd purposefully pull paper in his game of rock, papers, scissors with Changbin to make it a tie, he went in for a high five and even intertwined their fingers together as Changbin squealed in gleeful hope. 

Seeing this— Hyunjin exhibiting touchiness with nearly everyone in his life— Jeongin's heart stopped punching his ribcage every time Hyunjin showed him skinship and slowly but surely grew accustomed to it. 

It's just who Hyunjin is. 

Now, as Hyunjin rests his head on Jeongin's shoulder and plays with Jeongin's fingers, the younger feels nothing but the typical contentment that comes with spending a lazy day with a friend. 

"Do you wanna stay the night?" Hyunjin asks after the credits to the movie they'd been watching start to roll, "It's already late."

Jeongin moves to look down at him with an eyebrow raised, "It's 9 in the evening."

"You shouldn't walk home at this hour!" 

"I can call a taxi," Jeongin reasons.

"Ok, yeah, I just want you to stay," He admits with a sigh, unable to retort a counterargument to his logic. Jeongin snorts, "We haven't had a sleepover."

"Are we at that stage of friendship yet?" 

Hyunjin lifts his head from Jeongin's shoulder to look at him in the eyes, "Rude. I'll have you know you're an honorary member of the Hyunjin Hwang Friend Circle."

"Wow," Jeongin puts a hand on his chest, right over his heart, "Then I'll stay."

"Am I an honorary member of the Jeongin Bang Friend Circle?" Hyunjin asks, narrowing his eyes at him, "Because if not..."

Jeongin looks at Hyunjin, his face mere centimeters away from his own; trying hard not to blink and ruin the supposed menacing look he's keeping on the younger. It's endearing. Jeongin thinks about the last two months and the hundreds of text messages; the many days they've spent together and the many ways in which they've molded themselves into each other's lives. 

So unlike anything Jeongin could've thought would happen after that night at the club, they've become undeniably close. 

"Yeah," Jeongin answers after a bit, "Yeah, you are."

"Good," Hyunjin smiles, returning to his previous position and finding Jeongin's hands again, "The movie was so bad, by the way. I'm never taking suggestions from Felix again."

He'd fawned over Jeongin's dimples when drunk, but he has ones of his own too, and Jeongin thinks the natural little dents on his cheeks can rival his' anytime.

.

"Last time I had a sleepover I was, like, 10," Jeongin says as he slides under the blankets. The clothes Hyunjin has lent him are soft on his skin, and the mattress sinks under his weight comfortably. It's so nice he can't help but let out a satisfied sigh, "And I couldn't sleep at a friend's house unless my parents met their parents."

"Do you want my mom to FaceTime your mom?" Hyunjin jokes, freeing his hair from the hair tie he'd been using all day. He shakes his head like a wet puppy and runs his hands through it.

Jeongin grabs one of the pillows and hits Hyunjin with it, making him giggle. Hyunjin sets his knees on the bed and tries to stop the attacks with his hands stretched forward and his head turned to one side.

"A pillow fight, really?" Hyunjin sighs, but the smile on his face takes away any possible bite behind the words.

"Well, isn't this a sleepover?" Jeongin says, still going in with no mercy.

"I have no pillow to defend myself with because you're lying on the other one, this isn't fair." 

Hyunjin manages to grab Jeongin's swinging pillow with both hands, stopping it in the air. They push and pull together then, laughing like little kids, until Jeongin pulls a bit too hard and Hyunjin loses balance. The older lets go of the pillow as he falls, and he's not quick enough to find a place for his hands; instead, Hyunjin lands unceremoniously on top of Jeongin, chest colliding with the younger's and knocking the air out of both of them. 

"Fuck, that hurt," Hyunjin rolls off of him with a wince. Jeongin gives him one last hit with the pillow before letting go of it— he wants to confirm he's the winner. Hyunjin scrunches his nose, "Why is your chest so… solid?" 

Jeongin's mind goes blank, not expecting a question about his muscles, "I— I work out, I guess?" 

Hyunjin rubs at his own chest, still feeling the burn of the initial collision, "Damn. I'm gonna need to start going to the gym with you and Changbin, I think."

"Changbin's routine is crazy," Jeongin tells him with a snort. He turns to lie on his side, "I do half the things he does."

"Then I'll do half of what  _ you _ do, to start somewhere," Hyunjin says. He stretches, letting out a yawn, and then wiggles his way under the blankets. His foot hits Jeongin's leg accidentally, and he whispers a soft  _ sorry _ , "Or even better— I'll just watch and learn, like you did with skating."

"Ha, ha."

"Mmmm," Hyunjin hits his pillow a couple times, fluffing it up, and then pulls on the blankets until they're up to his chin, "Watching two hot guys exercise… maybe while I eat some donuts, too... doesn't sound so bad."

Jeongin doesn't know what makes his stomach twist uncomfortably, exactly— Hyunjin thinking he's hot, or Hyunjin classifying Changbin under the same category. Either way, he brings his legs up to a fetal position of some sort under the blankets to try and stop the strange feeling in his belly. (He's not used to receiving compliments, doesn't really know how to take them— must run in the Bang genes, because Chan is the same, and every time his mom tells his dad he looks handsome all his father does is giggle awkwardly.) Hyunjin gives them so naturally it's somehow even worse.

"Eating in front of us?" He asks. It's a second or two too late to pass as a natural comeback to Hyunjin's words, but the older doesn't notice. If he does, he doesn't say anything, "Evil."

"I'll wave the food in front of you to give you motivation," Hyunjin mumbles, already falling under the spell of a comfortable bed. He's got his eyes closed and a small smile on his lips, like he's already imagining Changbin and Jeongin suffering with his plan, "I'm such a great friend."

"Mm," Jeongin hums, "The best."

Hyunjin opens his eyes; pupils shining even in the dim lighting. Jeongin buries half his face under the blankets, copying him, and they both hold the other's gaze in silence for a moment. Hyunjin is the first one to speak, taking a deep breath,

"Goodnight, Jeongie."

Jeongin closes his eyes, peaceful, "Goodnight."

**MAY 5TH 2021**

Jeongin and Jisung only share a couple classes, but even if they didn't Jeongin thinks he'd still seek him out for study sessions to dive into together. They work well, with Jisung's active nature helping Jeongin in not falling asleep revising and Jeongin's more calm one bringing them both back to their school duties when they get too off track. It's hard to find someone fitting for something like this, that's for sure, so Jeongin is lucky Jisung had sat next to him the first day at University and made a space for himself in the younger's academic— and, eventually, personal— life. 

They both got an exam coming soon; nothing too big or important, but still one of the firsts ones of the year. Putting effort in the beginning might make future ones a bit easier to approach, or at least that's the result they expect from today's session. Sitting under the sun in quite an empty park, butts wet from the freshly watered grass they'd failed to notice, Jeongin and Jisung balance their notebooks on their laps as they read in each other's company.

"Are you still set on not liking Hyunjin?" Jisung asks after they've spent almost twenty minutes in silence, having gone longer than usual without his typical commentary about how boring the unit is. 

Jeongin looks up from his notes, brows knitted together, "Huh?"

"Do you still think you don't like Hyunjin?"

Jeongin blinks, trying to find a reason as to why Jisung has brought this up all of a sudden. His friend watches him expectantly, lips pursed together in a way that makes his chubby cheeks puff. 

"Uh, pretty positive, yeah," Jeongin replies, "Why?"

"So I can go for it, then?"

Jeongin is not sure if it's the complete immersion in his textbooks he's done for his studying (meaning he's still got bits of information repeating in his head) or the unexpected question still trying to be processed, but his brain can't seem to comprehend just what exactly Jisung means, "Go for it...?"

"You know, ask him out?"

"Oh," Jeongin freezes, his beating heart being the only thing in him to continue moving, "I didn't know you liked Hyunjin."

"Well, he's good looking, isn't he? You said it yourself," Jisung explains, folding and unfolding the ends of one of the many paper sheets on his lap, "And he seems cool, so."

True. Hyunjin's cool. He's a phenomenal dancer, an impressive ice skater, and the kind of person people stop on the streets to be told he could be a model. Hyunjin works hard for what he wants and what he likes, and works even harder for those he loves. He smiles at kids and waves at strangers and doesn't get mad when the gesture isn't returned, because he's a giver and kindness overflows his lean, tall body.

Jeongin  _ knows _ he's cool— Jisung  _ thinks _ he is, because he has no way of knowing these things. Jeongin guesses that's just further proof of Hyunjin's coolness, and he forgets about the bitterness rising up his throat.

"Ah. Yeah, sure. Go for it." 

"Nice," Jisung grins, tapping a beat with his fingers on the hardcover of his notebook, "I just wanted to make sure. I'd never go for a bros conquest."

Jeongin rolls his eyes. He assumes it's the end of the conversation, so he averts his eyes from Jisung to focus back on the dull words on his material. However,

"Actually," Jisung exclaims after barely a minute and Jeongin has read a total of ten words, "Do you think you can give me his phone number?"

"Oh, I... I don't have my phone with me right now."

It shocks Jisung, because  _ who doesn't bring their phone with them in the year 2021 _ , and it shocks Jeongin himself, because his phone is resting guiltily inside his backpack and he's just lied for no reason. Jisung tilts his head in confusion, though he doesn't look like he thinks Jeongin isn't telling the truth.

"Y-you know, since we were going to study I thought it'd be wise to not bring it," Jeongin stammers an explanation, even if Jisung hasn't asked for one and this just means he's piling up small lies on top of each other, "Distractions, and stuff." 

"That's fine," Jisung shrugs, already moving on. Jeongin can feel the sweat pooling in the back of his neck, from the sun hitting him directly and the regret that comes with a lie to a friend— as little as it may be, "I'll ask Seungmin for it later."

Jeongin nods. He feels weird. He shakes his head and lets his mind be filled with data, preventing another thought from coming in.

.

"Did you know Jisung likes Hyunjin?" 

"Huh?"

Jeongin crawls onto Changbin's bed, pushing him with his hands until he can fit himself between the wall and his roommate. He can feel Changbin's eyes on him as he blinks up at the ceiling, but he doesn't look back. Jeongin intertwines his hands on his stomach.

"Jisung is gonna ask Hyunjin out on a date."

"... Okay?" Changbin slowly lowers himself back on the mattress, finally lying next to the younger. He takes both earbuds off and directs his eyes up, too, though he continues to sneak glances at Jeongin every five seconds, "You're odd."

"I was just with him because we were studying together, and he, like..." Jeongin frowns. How long has Jisung been thinking about it, to pop the question so suddenly? "He asked for my permission, which is silly. So I told him I really don't like Hyunjin like that, because I don't, right?" When he realizes he's posed it as a question, a  _ doubt _ , he corrects himself: "Because I don't."

For a moment there's only silence, and then Jeongin is startled when he hears Changbin's laugh. He turns to look at him, though the visual confirmation isn't necessary when he can also feel his body shaking with every chuckle where their arms are pressed together. 

"What's so funny?"

"I'm gonna let you figure this one out yourself," Changbin says, an amused smile on his lips. He boops Jeongin's nose and then lifts his phone again, fitting his earphones back in his ears.

"Figure what out?"

"Hm. Think about that, too."

Jeongin pouts, annoyed, but he stays right next to Changbin. He scoots closer and puts his head on the other's shoulder, cheek smushed against muscle, and tries to catch a glimpse of what he's watching. 

Changbin tilts the screen and silently offers him an earbud, and Jeongin takes it without words. 

("I know how Hyunjin wins every game of rock, paper, scissors," Jeongin confesses later in the day, when they're both chopping vegetables for a soup recipe Changbin's mom had messaged them to try and fix their horrible student-life diets.

Changbin almost cuts his finger off, "Wha— Tell me!"

"Mmm, I don't think so. I'm gonna let you figure this one out yourself," Jeongin smirks, snickering evilly as Changbin's shoulders sag and he just stands there, dumbfounded. Jeongin dumps the carrots into the pot, "Sucks, doesn't it?"

"You scare me."

"Good.")

**MAY 15TH 2021**

Jeongin gets a FaceTime call from Hyunjin when he's in the middle of folding fresh laundry, and the music he'd been playing stops to blast the familiar ringtone instead. He drops the shirt he has in his hands and then grabs his phone, accepting the request. When it connects, all he can see is an empty desk chair, baby blue bedroom walls and some band's poster somewhere in the back. He frowns.

"Hello?"

Hyunjin's head pops up from under the desk, hair tousled, "Don't look!"

Jeongin blinks.  _ Why'd he call, then? _ And it occurs to him, two seconds after that thought, that maybe it hadn't been on purpose. An erroneous click. So he says _ , okay _ , and then ends the call. 

Hyunjin calls him again.

"I said don't look, not  _ hang up _ ," Hyunjin pouts, face too close to the camera and giving Jeongin a clear view of the mole under his eye.

"... Should I just close my eyes, then?" Jeongin asks, still confused as to where this is going. When Hyunjin nods, he lets his eyelids fall shut, "Alright."

Hyunjin had taken his free weekend as an opportunity to go back home to visit his parents and little brother. Jeongin had heard lots about them from Hyunjin, who spoke of his family fondly every time they came up in conversation. Hyunjin had even promised to video call Jeongin and have him meet his brother as soon as possible, so the younger can only assume that's the reason he's now standing in his own room with his eyes closed. 

Jeongin hears noise coming from Hyunjin's side and has to fight the urge to slightly open an eye to peek. Patiently, he waits for the older to say:

"Okay, open!"

Jeongin blinks, trying to refocus his vision. He brings the screen a bit closer to his face and finally sees it: Hyunjin sitting at his desk with a dog in his lap. Huh?

Hyunjin takes the puppy's paw and lifts it up, waving at Jeongin. He speaks in a high pitched baby voice, "Hi, Jeongie."

"Oh," Jeongin muses, surprised, "Who's this?"

"My little brother, Kkami," Hyunjin exclaims cheerily, kissing his pet on the head. Jeongin stares.

"Your little brother… is a dog."

(Well, he should've known. 

When Hyunjin had mentioned a little brother and Jeongin had asked how old he was, Hyunjin had replied with  _ he's been with us since I was ten _ , which was certainly an odd way to say someone's age. Jeongin hadn't questioned it and hadn't thought about it past the initial  _ huh, strange _ , but— 

He should've known.)

"I'm an only child," Hyunjin explains, scratching Kkami behind his ears, "So I spent a lot of time with Kkami growing up, and my parents and I joke that he's like the little brother I never had."

"I was fully expecting a little boy," Jeongin chuckles. He pushes the pile of clothes to fold to one side and sits on his bed, leaving the task for later.

"Well, he  _ is _ a little boy," Hyunjin makes kissy sounds, and Kkami looks up excitedly. Hyunjin leans down and boops their noses together, "Good boy," His eyes meet Jeongin's through the screen and he blushes, "I know it's a bit weird—"

"Nah," Jeongin shrugs, "Many people do that. Like— Minho and Chan call their cats their kids."

"Oh, yeah," Hyunjin nods, apparently having heard the term coming from Minho too, "Felix and I thought he was a real dad for months. We asked to see pics one day... that's how we found out."

Jeongin laughs, picturing their faces as Minho scrolled happily through his gallery, "He and my brother bought a mug that says Best Uncle Ever for my birthday and said it was  _ a gift from the kids _ ."

"No way…" Hyunjin's jaw hangs low, and his lips slowly turn up into an incredulous smile. 

"It has cat paw prints on it, too."

Hyunjin laughs unabashedly, loud giggles filling Jeongin's room even if they cut in between due to shitty WiFi, "Can I see? Please,  _ please _ , I need to see that."

"Sure, I'll go look for it. Be right back."

He puts the phone down on the mattress and does a quick run to the kitchen, where he opens cabinet after cabinet looking for the colorful mug. Jeongin has used it quite often, because it's hilarious, and he can't remember where he left it last. Eventually, he finds it buried under dirty dishes and has to pull out the sponge and detergent to clean it up. He washes two or three plates too, because the pile in the sink keeps staring at him accusingly— though the guilt isn't enough to get rid of all of it. 

(He leaves the rest to Changbin.)

Jeongin walks back to his room, ready to show off his birthday gift, but stops at the edge of the bed when he hears Hyunjin's loud kissing noises. Jeongin tries to catch a glimpse at the screen without showing himself, and manages to see the way Hyunjin chases Kkami with his puckered lips. The dog seems to have had enough of him, because he keeps turning his head away, yet Hyunjin smiles every time and just goes in again.

"I haven't seen you in so long, I missed you," Hyunjin coos at his dog, hugging him close to his chest, "Did you miss me? Gimme a kiss."

Jeongin knows he's a bit of a weirdo for standing there in silence, but he can't tear his eyes away. Hyunjin is glowing, the lighting in his room reflecting perfectly on his hair and the left side of his face, and he looks  _ happy _ . Happiness is Hyunjin's best look—  _ this _ , Jeongin learned very soon into their friendship, when lips curved into smiles and eyes half closed in laughter started to show more and more when they were together. It's the way Hyunjin should always look and, right now, as he tries to get affection from Kkami, Jeongin doesn't want to interrupt. Feels like it'd be wrong to break a moment so bright.

But he can't keep doing whatever he's doing, and Hyunjin would just call back if he hung up, so he picks up the phone and clears his throat, "I found it."

Hyunjin perks up, eyes focusing back on his phone. Jeongin holds the camera away to capture the mug he's holding with his other hand, bringing it close to his head so that the words  _ Best Uncle Ever _ line up with his face, the  _ uncle  _ in question. Hyunjin starts another round of loud giggling, eyes disappearing behind a wide open-mouthed smile, and Jeongin thinks that happiness looks even better on Hyunjin when he's the reason behind it. The realization of how terribly cheesy that sounds makes him turn as red as the paws on the mug, and he pulls it away from his cheeks, scared the colors will blend and make it more noticeable. 

What's wrong with him?

"Oh, wow," Hyunjin says as the laughter subdues, "I'm gonna make fun of Minho for this for the rest of my life."

"It's sweet," Jeongin finds himself saying, "And funny. And an ego boost. Fuck yeah, I  _ am  _ the best uncle ever."

Hyunjin chuckles, "I'm gonna get you a mug from Kkami, too. So you can start a collection." 

"Nice. What is it gonna say on it?"

"Best… hm," Hyunjin hums, petting Kkami and staring intently at the dog like it'll give him the answer. He bites his lip as he thinks, and finally settles in: "Best Jeongie ever."

"But I'm the  _ only _ Jeongie," Jeongin pouts. Hyunjin smiles, finding his cute act amusing. It's rare for Jeongin to do it. He doesn't enjoy it, and when his friends ask for it they're always met with a glare. In this uncommon display of it, it lasts a total of three seconds and Jeongin cringes at himself immediately after, "At least I hope I am."

"Of course you're the only one," Hyunjin doesn't even hesitate to let the words out, like it's absurd to even suggest there might be other Jeongins in his life. It shouldn't make Jeongin warm all over, but it does.

Really. What's wrong with him?

"Then it's not special."

Hyunjin raises an eyebrow, "You're the cats' only uncle."

Jeongin blinks. Wait. He's Chan's only brother, and Minho is an only child. Wait. Hyunjin's right.

"I'm gonna have to have a word with my brother after this call, it seems."

This time, his WiFi allows Hyunjin's full laugh to be heard without problems.

**MAY 22ND 2021**

It's been a bit over two weeks since Jisung asked about Hyunjin, and Jeongin hasn't heard a single word from any of them about the whole thing. He likes to think his friends would tell him if they were going on a date— even if it wasn't a date  _ together _ , he thinks, yeah, even if the date was with someone he doesn't know, of course— and trust him with something like that, but he's met up with Jisung and Hyunjin individually multiple times in the past two weeks, and they haven't mentioned  _ anything _ . Nothing. Nada.

Curiosity is killing Jeongin from inside, nibbling on his bones like he nibbles on his nails every time he thinks about this. How is it going between them? Did the date go well? What did they do for the date, anyway? So many questions, no answers, and no hint to be found for poor little Jeongin to cling onto.

(Jeongin wonders if Hyunjin took him to the ice rink and showed off for Jisung like he'd done with him. Maybe Jisung is bad at skating like Jeongin himself, and Hyunjin had to guide him with his hands, too. Did Hyunjin tie Jisung's skates for him, or did he let Ryujin do it this time? 

Jeongin frowns at that.

Or perhaps they did something Jisung likes, and went to the arcade the boy loves to throw away money in, instead. Jeongin wonders if they laughed surrounded by colorful lights and the murmur of the crowd, and if Jisung managed to finally pull out a plushie from the claw machine, and gave it to Hyunjin as a souvenir.)

Sue him for being a little curious. They're both people he cares about— of course he'd like to know! It's normal. He wants the best for them, and he'd want to know if they found that within each other, or thought they could find that together. The image of them as a couple is a bit strange, Jeongin has to admit, but the more he thinks about it the more he thinks they could  _ maybe, kinda, perhaps, if you squint _ work well. 

Jeongin sighs and picks up his phone from his nightstand, going straight for his chat with Jisung and deciding to crawl out of the hole of doubt he's fallen into by his own means.

**Jeongin**

heyy 

you never told me what happened with Hyunjin

The reply comes seconds after. Jisung doesn't even give him time to get out of the app, feel regret and scold himself for meddling in businesses that aren't his. Well, he might as well go for it now.

**Jisung**

huh?

**Jeongin**

the date?

how did it go?

**Jisung**

oooh

it didn't go anywhere ㅋㅋㅋ 

**Jeongin**

oh nooo

what happened?

**Jisung**

nothing

as in

literally nothing

i asked him out and he said no ㅠㅠ

**Jeongin**

he rejected you?? 

**Jisung**

yeah lol

no hard feelings though!!!

he was super nice about it ~

Jeongin blinks down at the message. The silence from his friends was because  _ there was nothing to tell. _ There's a funny feeling spreading up and down his body, and he feels it mostly in the way his chest unties a knot he didn't know was there before. He can't put a name on it, exactly, but it feels weirdly similar to  _ relief _ . 

A sudden typing bubble pops up, and a new message follows just a bit later.

**Jisung**

apparently he likes someone already so

Oh. Jeongin didn't know that. Clearly. He and Hyunjin have never really talked about relationships, whether it be in detail or merely touching the topic in passing. The ends of the rope wrapped around his heart threaten to meet and tangle together again, squeezing tightly. Is he getting sick, or something? Jeongin coughs harshly, but the pressure on his chest stays there.

**Jeongin**

he said that?

well, sorry ji ㅠㅠ

**Jisung**

he diddd

its okay bro

there are more fish in the sea 

no biggie 

_ Yeah _ , Jeongin thinks, and even the voice in his head sounds strained, like he's gotten sick all the way up to there.  _ No biggie _ . 

**JUNE 1ST 2021**

Jeongin runs up the stairs to the entrance to Hyunjin's building, pushing the door open for the man struggling to do so with his arms full of grocery bags. He gets a grateful smile in return and he offers back a nod,  _ no problem _ . Jeongin slides into the place right after him, letting the door close by itself behind him. 

Hyunjin's apartment is on the first floor, so he doesn't bother waiting for the elevator and goes straight for the stairs. It's good exercise, and Jeongin feels a tiny bit like a fitness enthusiast every time he takes the healthier route, though he knows he's far from one. He reaches the door in record time, even if the pointless race with himself leaves him panting and bending forward to grab his knees. Jeongin knocks once he's sure he won't pass out in the hallway. 

Seungmin cautiously checks who's outside first, opening the door slightly, and then reveals himself completely once he recognizes his face, "Oh, it's you. Hi, Jeongin."

"Hey, Seungmin," Jeongin's not fazed by his presence there, since it's become obvious he and Felix practically live more at Hyunjin's place than at their own shared apartment, "Is Hyunjin home?" 

"Nope He and Felix had an 'emergency dance club meeting', or something," Seungmin does quotation marks in the air, "They left, like, ten minutes ago."

"Oh. Well…"

"I can tell him you dropped by."

"Okay," Jeongin nods, but he doesn't move from the door. He and Seungmin share awkward eye contact for a couple seconds, and then Seungmin begins closing the door in his face, "Wait—"

Seungmin stops, "... Yes?"

"Do you wanna go grab Starbucks with me?" Jeongin shrugs, "I'm bored."

For a moment, Jeongin thinks Seungmin will just say no and genuinely shut the door, leaving him in the hallway. They talk only when Hyunjin is around, after all, and even then their conversations are usually brief— a little bit of  _ the weather's crazy; yeah, right? _ and some  _ Hyunjin takes so long to get ready; I know, like, what's he doing in there _ . Jeongin wouldn't blame him for declining such an impromptu offer from someone who's basically a stranger to him.

Which is why Jeongin is taken aback when all Seungmin does is lift an eyebrow, think for a second, and then say, "Sure."

He grabs the keys from the little table near the door and twirls them around in his hold, stepping outside and closing the door behind him. Jeongin steps back to give him space as he twists the keys in the lock and then shakes the doorknob to check. 

"I hope Hyunjin took his keys with him," Seungmin mumbles, mostly to himself. He turns around and lightly taps Jeongin's elbow, "Let's go."

Still a bit disoriented by the ease with which he had agreed, Jeongin follows him out of the building. The Starbucks is just three blocks away, and although it's constantly quite packed inside there's always a table or two that are free to take. Most customers order their drinks and walk out with them, too caught up in life to stop and truly enjoy a cup of coffee. 

Jeongin and Seungmin attach themselves to the end of the queue as soon as they set foot into the place. Seungmin counts a total of five people ahead of them and tells Jeongin it'll probably take around 15 minutes or so. Jeongin shrugs. He really has nothing to do today.

"Were you going to ask Hyunjin out and come here?" Seungmin asks while they wait, arms crossed over his chest and hip jut out since he's resting all his weight on his right foot. Jeongin thinks about Hyunjin's drunk description of him and understands why height was a detail worth mentioning. 

"Yeah, I was gonna ask him to hang out," He replies, "We've been to this Starbucks a couple times, since it's close to his building."

"That's… not what I meant," Seungmin says, taking a short step forward as the people in front of them move. Jeongin copies him.

"What do you mean…  _ not what you meant _ ?" 

"Doesn't matter."

Jeongin frowns. They don't speak again until they can take another step closer to the register and Seungmin squints at the different drinks written on the board behind the counter.

"I don't remember it being this expensive," Seungmin whispers. He turns to face Jeongin, "Has it always been this expensive?"

Jeongin snorts, "I think so, yeah. For as long as Hyunjin and I have been ordering here, I'm pretty sure the prices have stayed the same."

The corners of Seungmin's mouth lift in a smile filled with amusement, like he's just remembered a really funny joke. Jeongin assumes that must be the case, anyway, because he's sure the words that have just come out of his mouth wouldn't normally elicit a reaction like that. He waits, hoping Seungmin will explain, but all he does is say,

"Oh, the line is moving again. It's going pretty fast."

Jeongin frowns a second time. He doesn't understand Seungmin in the slightest.

.

The wait for the drinks is somehow longer than the time they had to stand in line, or at least it feels like it is. Seungmin and Jeongin both breathe out a  _ finally _ when they call their names, and they make their way to an empty table with their hot beverages and a bunch of napkins in hand as soon as they wrap their fingers around the warm cups. 

They sit down with a sigh, taking the first sips in unison. The liquid flows easily down their throats, and the aftertaste that lingers in their mouths is pleasant enough to have them licking their lips after.

"He does that a lot, too, you know?" Seungmin says as Jeongin scans the ticket with his eyes, checking everything's in order. His mother does that after every purchase, and it's a habit he's inevitably picked up after having tagged along to shopping trips with her more times than he can count.

Jeongin hums, not looking up, "Huh? Who?"

"Hyunjin," Seungmin stirs his drink with the straw, "He mentions you often, in a similar way.  _ Jeongie and I. Me and Jeongie _ .  _ When Jeongie and I were here... _ "

Jeongin grasps the ticket a bit tighter, the edges of the thin paper crinkling under the pressure of his fingers. So that's what Seungmin had found so hilarious— the way Hyunjin and Jeongin talk about each other in the presence of others. He doesn't think it's anything out of the ordinary, at first— he would also say  _ Changbin and I watched a movie the other day _ , after all—, but when he thinks about Hyunjin saying his name that way, pairing it with his own like they're a unit, his cheeks start to burn.

Jeongin lifts hand up to press the palm of it against his forehead. His temperature seems okay. Weird. He keeps his eyes down on the numbers and letters printed on the ticket, but they don't make much sense to him now. 

"It's weird hearing  _ Jeongie _ come out of your mouth," He comments, crumpling the ticket into a ball and setting it aside on the table. Jeongin looks up, meeting Seungmin's eyes.

Seungmin chuckles and nods, "It feels weird to say it," he admits, "Almost like it's something only Hyunjin can call you, I guess."

Jeongin lets out an awkward exhale that was probably meant to be a light-hearted laugh, "Changbin and Jisung call me that often," Jeongin tells him, "Since New Year's Eve. It stuck with them."

Seungmin laughs loudly, choking on the sip he'd just taken. He coughs, punching his chest, "Sorry Sometimes I forget how you guys met."

Jeongin can't stop the grin that takes over his face. He also thinks about their first meeting every now and then, mostly in the moments that highlight how comfortable they've grown to be in each other's company. Drunk Hyunjin is merely a memory by now, one that he looks back at fondly rather than with embarrassment; a side of Hyunjin that he just happened to meet before the many others— the ones that truly showcase who he is.

"It was my first time spending New Year's outside of home and without my family," Jeongin says, "Hyunjin certainly made it an interesting first time."

"Oh, wow," Seungmin whistles, "From warm homemade meals to sweaty strangers in a club and a drunk guy flirting with you." 

"I don't think he was flirting with me."

"You both were."

Jeongin sputters, "What?"

Seungmin raises an eyebrow, "You gave him your number. On a napkin. You signed it as  _ Jeongie _ ."

"I was just trying to cheer him up!" Jeongin exclaims, brows furrowed, "Because he was upset that he had to leave."

"He was upset he had to leave  _ you _ , specifically," Seungmin corrects him. He takes another sip from his drink, leisurely and like he hasn't rendered Jeongin speechless. He sighs, "Do you like him?"

Jeongin freezes. Seungmin blinks at him. The barista calls someone's name, and Jeongin hears the rushed steps of a customer about to pick up their order. He can also somehow hear his own heartbeat. 

"He's my friend," Jeongin begins to say, "of course I—"

"Don't be obtuse," Seungmin cuts him off. Not rudely, but it does come off as a tiny bit exasperated, "You know what I mean."

Jeongin's not stupid. Of course he does. But when he tries to deny it again, like he's been doing for months, the words don't come out. He opens his mouth, attempts to say the fabricated phrase he's so used to saying by now—  _ I don't like him. We're friends, that's all we are _ — and then he just stops. His tongue lies there, numb, and he purses his lips together, preventing any kind of response from leaving the confinements of his mouth. 

Embarrassingly, what he thinks about is the first time Hyunjin called him Jeongie. 

Jeongin remembers the heat crawling up to his face, quick and sudden like he'd been injected with it. He remembers Hyunjin's eyes, still somehow filled with kindness despite the state in which he was in, and his cherry red, plump lips stretched into a weak smile. He remembers every single instance in which Hyunjin had called him Jeongie that night— every single one even up until now. And he'll probably remember every moment in the future, too, because the automatic deep breath he takes every time he hears it (it being: the nickname, but also the fond tint behind Hyunjin's voice) is reinvigorating.

And he thinks, as he still struggles to answer Seungmin, that the fact that he knows this— is aware of how  _ good  _ it feels for him to be special to Hyunjin, how every time they're together he seeks to feel this way— should be indication enough. Jeongin looks into Seungmin's patient eyes and realizes that he can't utter the same words he'd told his brother, Minho, Changbin, Jisung,  _ everyone _ , because it'd be a lie. 

It feels like being struck by lightning. It's overwhelming, and he ends up replying with a watered down version of what he really feels.

"Maybe, I. I think I do."

Seungmin nods. He doesn't say anything else, and Jeongin is grateful. He doesn't think he could get into a conversation about it; not yet. He guides the straw in his drink back to his mouth and sips. 

Eventually, Seungmin speaks up, "Honestly, I'm glad. You'll be the first one of his boyfriends I actually like."

Jeongin sighs, already sensing the blush forming on his cheeks. Seungmin says it with confidence and doesn't allow room for doubt. It's not you  _ would  _ be, in the hypothetical case, but you  _ will _ be, in the undeniable case. Jeongin's stomach doesn't only do somersaults— it does cartwheels, back flips, and a roundoff. God, he wishes he hadn't realized this. Feelings. He wants to keep stubbornly thinking he was sick.

Seungmin laughs at him, the bastard. 

Before he can continue to torture Jeongin, now armed with the perfect information to tease him endlessly, Seungmin's phone rings with a call. He picks up, though the smirk hasn't left his face. 

"Hello?" He says into the device. He listens for a moment and then rolls his eyes, "I figured you'd probably forgotten them, but I still had hope. Jeongin and I are at the Starbucks near the building, we'll be there in five," Seungmin starts to stand up, motioning for Jeongin to do so as well, "Yes,  _ your _ Jeongin." 

Jeongin's eyes go wide, staring at Seungmin with a questioning look. He's gathered that it's Hyunjin on the other side of the line, and he can't believe Seungmin just said that.  _ What the hell?  _ he mouths, and Seungmin only winks. 

Jeongin knows that he won't ever live in peace as long as Kim Seungmin is around.

.

Hyunjin and Felix are sitting in the hallway playing patty cake when they arrive. Hyunjin stands up with a smile when he sees them, and rushes to give Jeongin a bone-crushing hug. Jeongin quickly wraps his arms around Hyunjin's middle and takes a careful step back, trying to avoid a nasty fall. 

"No hug for me?" Seungmin asks jokingly, already pulling out the keys to let them all inside the apartment. 

"Jealous?" Hyunjin sticks his tongue out at him. He turns around, suddenly positioning them so that Jeongin is giving him a back-hug. The younger tries to suppress a gasp, "I saw you an hour ago. I haven't seen Jeongie all day."

Oh. Jeongin is a weak, weak man. Seungmin meets his eyes and tries not to laugh at the clear call for help in his eyes.  _ I can't take this. I only realized I have romantic feelings for this guy 10 minutes ago. _

"Let's get in," Seungmin pushes the door open. 

Jeongin sighs in relief. He goes to pull his arms away from Hyunjin's waist, but Hyunjin holds them in place and makes them walk like that instead. Jeongin can't do anything but follow, chin hooked over Hyunjin's shoulder

When they waddle past Seungmin standing under the threshold, Jeongin silently asks for help again. All he gets is a shrug. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thinking about writing a minchan spin-off after I'm done with this, about how they got together! would anyone like that?
> 
> as always, kudos and comments are always alwayssss appreciated and motivate me to continue writing ❤️ <3 hope u guys have a nice day ~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooo everyone!! heh... notice the little change? this fic is now 4 parts, because i lack self control and just keep writing 😭 so sorry!! But i hope you enjoy it nonetheless. again, chapter 4 will probably take me a while. thank you for being so patient!

**JULY 3RD 2021**

The realization makes Jeongin's life ten times more difficult and, at the same time, it solves a big problem. 

Jeongin doesn't have to question his feelings anymore; doesn't have to shut down less-than-just-friendly thoughts. They just happen— when he's with Hyunjin and, embarrassingly enough, also when they're apart— and Jeongin lets them roam his mind carefree, knowing that mind-reading is a thing for comics and fictional movies. He's safe.

A metaphorical weight lifts off of his shoulders the day he admits he likes Hyunjin, and yet a new one settles deep in his guts almost immediately after. 

Spending time with Hyunjin is torture. Being aware of just how badly he craves Hyunjin's touch is terrible. So, so terrible. Every time the older laughs hard, loud and with his whole body (as he usually does) and ends up half on top of Jeongin on the couch of choice for the night, Jeongin feels his nervous system collapse. He does not know where to put his hands. He does not know where to look, either, because Hyunjin's face has become a clear  _ no zone _ . Jeongin has resorted to staring down at his own hands most of the time, maybe—  _ definitely _ — a bit afraid that his eyes will reveal more than they should.

Jeongin has never felt so much, at all times, and with such intensity before. He hates it. But he's read enough predictable books and watched enough shitty romantic films with Changbin to know that avoiding Hyunjin will only end up hurting both of them in the long run. And Jeongin is selfish, anyway, though some would say masochist— he doesn't want to cut his time with Hyunjin, even if his heart threatens to beat its way out of his chest with every minute they're together. So he says yes to Hyunjin's texts asking him to hang out, and sends some texts of his own as well. 

A month goes by like that. Jeongin gets used to it; gets used to the fact that he likes Hyunjin enough to be turned into such a mess. He sits through quite challenging movie nights, and sleepovers, and late night conversations  _ in bed _ , and—

Now here he stands, leaning against the door frame that leads into Hyunjin's dance practice room. Everyone has already begun stretching, some even gulping down entire water bottles in seconds. Jeongin finds Hyunjin's familiar ponytail and follows him with his eyes, watching as he plops down on the floor and touches his toes with his hands. He hasn't seen Jeongin yet. 

It's the first time Jeongin has ever visited the inside of the building. He's tagged along with Chan a couple times before, when his brother decides to surprise Minho by picking him up, but Jeongin would usually wait outside on the sidewalk and entertain himself with the help of his phone. He knows Minho will raise his eyebrows teasingly and with enough force to make them reach the ceiling as soon as he sees him there, but. What can he do? It's not like Minho's assumptions are wrong, anyway. He  _ is  _ there for Hyunjin, after all.

"Hey. Jeongin, right?"

Jeongin twists his head, looking for the source of the voice. Ryujin stands next to him, lips turned upward into a friendly smile. He recognizes her easily because of the cute whisker-like dimples on her cheekbones.

"Oh, hey, Ryujin," Jeongin says, offering a small nod as a greeting, "It's nice to see you again." 

"Same. Are you looking for Hyunjin?" She takes a step closer, stretching her neck to look inside the practice room.

"Yeah. Came to pick him up."

"Oh, me too."

Jeongin frowns, unable to stop his head from turning to look at Ryujin quizzically. Did Hyunjin plan to hang out with both him and Ryujin today? It's not that it bothers him— Ryujin seems nice and fun, and he and Hyunjin don't really have anything planned for the day— but why didn't Hyunjin tell him, if that's the case?

Ryujin notices his expression and lets out a laugh, "No, I'm not here for Hyunjin. I meant  _ me too _ , as in, I'm picking up my partner, too."

"Oh," Jeongin's brain stop functioning for a second, and then the words truly settle it. He starts shaking his head, "Oh, no. We're not—"

"Jeongin Bang!"

Both Jeongin and Ryujin turn to look at whoever has gasped his name, but while Ryujin has no idea who the guy walking up to them is, Jeongin simply sighs at the unmistakable sight of Minho and his characteristic smirk.

"Minho Lee," Jeongin says in lieu of a traditional greeting. 

"This is the first time I see you  _ inside  _ this place," Minho lifts a hand up to his chest, tone sickeningly sweet, "And all for little ol' me? You really shouldn't have."

"Well, I've got some bad news for you."

Minho rolls his eyes, dropping the act, "I'm not dumb. I know you're here for Hyunjin," he pulls out a towel from his bag and starts drying the sweat on his forehead. He points his chin toward Ryujin, "And who's this?"

Ryujin waves, "Ryujin."

Minho's eyes flash with recognition, "Oh, wait… I've heard your name before... Yeji's girlfriend, right?" 

"That'd be me," Ryujin beams, "And you are...?"

"Jeongin's brother," Minho replies, throwing the towel over his shoulder and reaching an arm to pinch Jeongin's cheek.

"In law," Jeongin clarifies, pushing him away. Ryujin chuckles.

"Technicalities," Minho brushes him off with a hand gesture, "I'm working on it."

Jeongin blinks, "What do you mean?" 

Instead of answering, Minho pivots to face the practice room once more and yells out Hyunjin's name. The boy looks up from stretching, somehow finding Jeongin's eyes before he even finds Minho's— the person that's called him in the first place— and smiles softly, successfully making the younger forget what the conversation was about. 

"I'll be with you in five minutes," Hyunjin shouts back, standing up to do the final steps of his stretching routine. 

Minho snorts, "He can't get enough of you, Jeongin." 

It's a joke, Jeongin knows that. But anything pertaining to Hyunjin hits as strongly as being shocked with a taser lately, so Jeongin can't do much more than roll his eyes and pretend he's not internally telling himself to  _ get a grip. _

When Hyunjin's finally ready to go, he jogs his way over to them. He grins at Ryujin, promptly pushing her softly towards Yeji and giggling at the blush on both of their cheeks. He says  _ hello _ to Jeongin, quick and brief, and then spends a couple minutes discussing a choreography with Minho. Jeongin waits by their side, not wanting to disrupt. 

At some point, Hyunjin's hand finds Jeongin's own; slim fingers clasping Jeongin's gently. Hyunjin doesn't look at him, still immersed in the conversation— it's like he means to tell him  _ I'll be done in a second, sorry for making you wait _ without words. 

Jeongin dares to squeeze once.  _ It's okay. I don't mind waiting. _

**JULY 10TH 2021**

"I have no idea what you've just said to me," Seungmin tells him, "I tune you out most of the time, sorry. It's automatic."

"You're so mean," Jeongin groans. 

"I wasn't listening to you and yet I still know you were talking about Hyunjin the whole time."

Jeongin scoffs, "I could've been talking about other things."

"You never talk about other things with me."

Jeongin twists his mouth, lips puckered, and falls into guilty silence. Since Seungmin is the only other person aware of Jeongin's feelings besides himself, he's kind of been designated as the younger's go-to person for Hyunjin related purposes. This development has resulted in many hang outs at Seungmin and Felix's apartment when Felix isn't at home, where Jeongin mostly wallows in self-pity and Seungmin probably wonders why he even let him in in the first place. 

It's true that a big portion of their time together is spent like that, but Jeongin wouldn't say that it's  _ all  _ they do. But maybe it feels like it to Seungmin, which makes Jeongin feel shitty— he doesn't want him to think Jeongin's only hanging out with him because of Hyunjin, because he's really not. He's grown to enjoy Seungmin's critiquing commentary on the occasions they decide to watch any kind of show or film on TV, and finds the five napkins, plate, fork and knife Seungmin needs to eat the cheap, greasy pizza they order every now and then a bit funny, in an endeared way. Jeongin wouldn't hesitate to say Seungmin is his friend, and it pains him to realize that he hasn't been a good one himself. 

"Ok, you're right. Let's not talk about him, then," Jeongin says after a moment, nails digging into the tangerine in his hands to start peeling it off, "Let's talk about you. What about  _ your _ love life?" 

"Oh, so Hyunjin's your love life, now?" Seungmin teases, biting into an apple after having washed it thoroughly and for so long Jeongin had thought the peel would lose its bright red color. 

"This is about you," Jeongin insists, throwing a tiny piece of tangerine peel at his face, "Got your eye on anyone?"

Seungmin is usually quiet, but the lack of answer in this context is louder than any words he could've said. 

"Oh my God, you do."

"Shut up."

"Do I know them?" 

He doesn't expect to know them, because the only people from Seungmin's life that he knows of are Hyunjin and Felix, and he's pretty sure both of them are off the list of possible candidates. Which is why Jeongin almost swallows the tangerine seeds when Seungmin says,

"Can we talk about Hyunjin again?" 

"Oh my God, I do know them?" 

Seungmin bites his apple. Jeongin starts to think. 

(It's not  _ Minho  _ or  _ Chan _ , that's for sure. It's not Changbin, either, because Seungmin knows that he and Felix have something weird going on with each other. Seungmin knows Jeongin likes Hyunjin, and even said he was glad that that was the case, so  _ he  _ is off the list, too. Which leaves him with the last person they share in common—)

"... Jisung?" He asks tentatively, eyes widening when Seungmin looks at him once then quickly averts his eyes, " _ Jisung?! _ "

Seungmin folds one of his ears, like he's closing a door, "I'm tuning you out now."

"So, it is him!"

"Wow, silence can be so peaceful," Seungmin says, lifting the half-eaten apple back to his lips, "I love this." 

Jeongin chuckles, "You and Jisung… I kinda see it."

"I can see Jeongin's lips moving, but I don't hear a word of what he's saying. Life is good."

"No, no. You just changed my perception of life," Jeongin says, one hand over his chest in exaggerated surprise, "You two would be  _ great _ together."

"I still can't hear him, what a blessing," Seungmin rolls the apple so he can have access to the still-untouched parts of it, "Mmm, I wonder when Jeongin will tell Hyunjin he wants to kiss him on the mouth." 

"Hey!" 

Seungmin pretends to open his ears back up, "Did you say anything?"

Jeongin pouts, "Unfair."

He throws his head back, the impact of the action cushioned by the soft couch pillows he's leaning against, and stays staring up at the ceiling as he munches on his tangerine. Jeongin can't imagine ever telling Hyunjin something like that. The mere thought makes his stomach turn uncomfortably and his palms get clammy. 

"I'm joking," Seungmin says after a bit, tossing the apple core into the bowl they're keeping in between them for peels and other residues, "You have all the time in the world to tell him."

"I don't know if I ever wanna tell him," Jeongin admits. He bites a seed accidentally and makes a face. 

Seungmin frowns, "Hm. I think you should. I don't mean to pressure you, or anything, just…"

"I don't wanna make it awkward."

"Hyunjin would never let your friendship go over something so silly." 

Realistically, Jeongin knows Seungmin is right. And if the roles were reversed and Hyunjin had feelings for him, Jeongin wouldn't let it get in between what they've built, either. But rationality, when it comes to his own feelings, has long packed its bags and left. All he can think about is the slim yet always present possibility of losing Hyunjin. 

"We're talking about him again," Jeongin says.

Seungmin rolls his eyes, "Well, you were moping."

"You just wanted an excuse to distract me from the fact that  _ you _ want to kiss  _ Jisung _ on the mouth," Jeongin attacks, as if he weren't doing the exact same thing right now. 

Seungmin raises an eyebrow, like he sees right through him— he probably does— and indulges him with a sigh, "I don't wanna kiss him, I just think he isn't bad looking."

"You think he's cute."

"That's not what I said."

"It's implied."

"You're so annoying."

"I bet he thinks you're cute, too."

"Don't ever indirectly tell me I'm cute ever again. Get out of my house. Now." 

"I did not do that! Ugly."

" _ You're _ ugly."

**JULY 22ND 2021**

Hyunjin kisses him softly, a tentative touch of lips against Jeongin's parted ones. Jeongin snakes an arm around his waist and helps him climb onto his lap, squeezing his hips when Hyunjin giggles against his mouth. Jeongin can feel him close, but it's not enough, so he surges forward and crashes their lips together again, humming pleasantly as Hyunjin gets the memo and sets his hands on the back of Jeongin's neck, pulling and pulling until they're chest to chest and their noses clash clumsily in their hurry. They laugh together, breaths mingling, and waste no time in diving in again. 

"Jeongie…" Hyunjin whispers between kisses, stopping to regain energy as Jeongin pecks his plump lips over and over. He chuckles, "Jeongie."

"Hm?" Jeongin hums, distracted by the sight laid out in front of him— pretty boy blushing and sitting on his lap; his hair a mess where Jeongin's hands hadn't resisted to touch, "What, Hyunnie?" 

Hyunjin's face starts to blur, and suddenly Jeongin can't hear his voice anymore. He tries to call his name again, but he can't speak, either. Everything becomes a mess of colors, then light, then absolute darkness, and then—

_ "What did you just call me?" _

Jeongin sits up abruptly, chest heaving with every breath he takes. He blinks and rubs his eyes with the back of his hands, almost jumping again when he finds Changbin standing next to his bed. He frowns.

"Wh— What time is it?"

There's clear mischief in Changbin's eyes as he ignores the question and insists, ".... Were you dreaming about Hyunjin? Your ears are all red."

"No, I wasn't," Jeongin is quick to deny. He kicks the blankets off of him and stretches, his bones cracking with the effort, "What are you doing in my room?"

"I'm pretty sure you called me Hyunnie."

Fuck.  _ Fuck, fuck, fuck.  _ Had he said that out loud? Jeongin can't stop the immediate reaction, with his eyes widening like a deer in headlights and his whole face burning with embarrassment. He stands up and starts to walk out of the room with Changbin following closely behind. 

"You were?!" The older cackles as he trails behind Jeongin all around the apartment, "Oh, my God. What were you doing in it? Your ears— was it dirty?"

"Shut up!" Jeongin hisses, feeling like the temperature in the room has risen to an insane level. The truth is he doesn't know where the dream was leading, so if Changbin hadn't interrupted him, maybe— No. He shakes his head, "Shut up, shut up." 

"It was?!"

Jeongin opens the door to the bathroom and steps inside, pushing Changbin away before closing it in his face. Even as Jeongin walks into the shower and closes the curtains, he can still hear Changbin laughing from the other side. Jeongin presses his forehead against the cold wall, seeking the cool in hopes his face will finally stop feeling like it's on fire. 

"You need to tell me what happened," Changbin says loudly, "Like, not in too much detail, cuz, gross. But the gist of it, you know? This is the funniest thing."

"Shut up,  _ please _ ," Jeongin begs, letting out an embarrassed fake-sob, "Seriously." 

For a moment, Changbin does as told. Jeongin sighs in relief, finally feeling like his ears and cheeks have gone back to their usual color. His roommate knocks on the door a couple minutes later; it's gentle and slow, like he doesn't want to startle Jeongin. 

"Hey, Jeongin," Changbin says, "You okay? Can I come in?" 

"Yeah."

Jeongin hears the door creaking as Changbin pushes it open and closed, and the steps he takes as he approaches the shower. He pulls the curtains open and blinks at Jeongin, who stands under the showerhead in silence. 

"Why are you in the shower?"

"A pathetic place for a pathetic boy like me."

Changbin rolls his eyes, "You're not pathetic," He steps into the shower and closes the curtains again, then lifts his hands until they're resting on Jeongin's shoulders, "I know it feels weird as fuck right now, but having dreams like this— about your friends— is so common. I've had them before!"

"The fact that we're having this conversation in the shower, together, is ruining my day," Jeongin says.

"It's your fault. And, listen," Changbin pulls his hands away, "All I'm saying is that you don't have to worry. It's just a dream— it's meaningless."

Jeongin sighs and toys with his bottom lip for a couple seconds, debating. Eventually, he speaks up, "What if it's not meaningless, though?"

Changbin dismisses the question with a hand gesture, "Seriously, trust me. It's just—"

"I like Hyunjin."

Changbin's eyes widen significantly, though he quickly tries to compose himself, "Okay…," Jeongin covers his face with his hands and groans. Changbin tsks, "C'mon. You're still not pathetic for liking Hyunjin."

"I know that," Jeongin says, "But I'm pathetic for liking him when I already know he likes someone else." 

Jeongin has been thinking about Jisung's text more and more lately, the one that told him Hyunjin had rejected him because he had someone— someone  _ special _ he'd turn cute guys down for. It makes the realization of his feelings a pinch more painful, but if Hyunjin is happy Jeongin is more than willing to bottle things up and throw said bottle into the ocean. To forget it. 

He should start soon, though, if that's his plan. Because a bit over a month has gone by, and now Jeongin's started dreaming about _making out_ _with him._

"Wha—" Changbin frowns, "He said that?"

"Yeah."

"To  _ you?" _

"Well, no. To Jisung, when he asked him out." 

Changbin takes a deep breath, so long that Jeongin is afraid he'll take up all the oxygen in their little bathroom. Then he exhales, a sigh just as prolonged, and puts his hands back on Jeongin's shoulders. 

"I love you. You're like a brother to me. You know that, right?" 

Jeongin blinks, "Okay."

"So what I say to you is always coated with brotherly love," Changbin moves his hands up to his cheeks, "And it's always what I think is the best for you."

"Okay."

"I'll say this with all of my love, then:" Changbin makes Jeongin look at him in the eyes, hands still caging Jeongin's face, "You're so dumb."

Jeongin throws his hands up with an offended scoff, "That was unnecessary."

"Let's get out of this bathroom," Changbin says, pushing the curtain open, "And bring your pillow with you to my room."

"... Alright…?"

"We're having a sleepover. We're gonna talk about boys and those dirty dreams you're having."

Jeongin punches Changbin's arm, "It wasn't dirty, we were just kissing!"

"I can't believe you called him  _ Hyunnie _ while you were at it. Did he call you Jeongie?"

Jeongin closes the shower curtain once more, avoiding Changbin's mocking eyes, "I'll sleep here."

**JULY 28TH 2021**

It's a series of events that lead Jeongin to believe the world is against him, purposefully making his life a living hell. And Hyunjin's hand on his butt is definitely one of them.

The rest of their friends are waiting outside, looking for a table big enough to fit their large group. Jeongin and Hyunjin are the last ones to order their ice creams, because Hyunjin takes years to pick two flavors and Jeongin had told the rest he was going to stay back with him. Jeongin holds his cone and receives Hyunjin's, standing next to the older as he fiddles with his wallet. 

Right as the cashier behind the counter tells them their total, Jeongin remembers he has a discount coupon somewhere in the pockets of his jeans. He voices it out loud:

"Wait, I have a coupon."

"Hm? Where?" Hyunjin asks, pulling out a couple bills.

"In the back pocket of my jeans," Jeongin contemplates the two cones in his hands, trying to think of a way to free one of them. He begins to push one ice cream cone towards Hyunjin for him to hold, but Hyunjin says:

"Oh, I'll get it."

And sinks his hand inside one of Jeongin's pockets, effectively groping his ass for a second or two. Jeongin freezes, feeling as Hyunjin moves his fingers around.

"Wait, wrong pocket."

_ Absolute fucking hell.  _ Jeongin stands still, probably not breathing at all, and tries to ignore the way the cashier lifts an eyebrow at the scene. Hyunjin tries the other pocket. __

"Aha! Here," He pulls the small paper out, handing it to the employee, "It was crumpled and I couldn't find it."

Jeongin visibly deflates once Hyunjin steps aside to pay what the coupon can't cover, muscles relaxing. He licks his ice cream, hoping the cold will spread through his body as fast as the heat of his blush had just seconds ago, and waits for the transaction to be over. 

Hyunjin grabs his own cone after he's done, and they both walk out together. Chan waves his arm around to call them over; some of their friends are already halfway done with their orders. Jeongin notices there's only one empty chair left and frowns.

"Did one of you miscount?" He says when he's close enough to be heard, "We're missing a chair."

Jisung bites into his ice cream like it's a burger, because he's insane. Jeongin thinks he even sees him  _ chew _ , "We gathered all the empty chairs we could find. The others aren't available, unless you want to push some random person off of theirs and take it."

"I might," Jeongin jokes. He turns to face Hyunjin, "Let's share?"

"Sure."

Jeongin sits down and sighs, his legs finally catching a break. He starts to scoot to one side, trying to free enough space for Hyunjin to sit down too. All they need is one butt cheek on the chair each, after all, so they can both fit as comfortably as possible. However, Hyunjin doesn't let him move more than two centimeters to the left before he unexpectedly plops down onto Jeongin's lap. 

Right. A series of events. Two new ones in one day— the world really hates his guts. _ Let's see how much more of this you can take, loser. _

"Am I too heavy?" Hyunjin asks, twisting his body slightly to look down at the younger. The view reminds Jeongin of his dream, and he desperately wishes the ground would swallow him whole. 

"No, you're fine," Jeongin assures him. It really is, despite how jittery he feels. Hyunjin's weight on his legs isn't that bad, and Jeongin gets a clear view of his high ponytail swinging happily with his every move this way. 

"Let me know if it gets too uncomfortable," Hyunjin says anyway, offering him a small smile, "We can switch."

"Don't worry," He smiles back.

"Did anyone else think the old lady ordering in front of us looked like Mrs. Darbus from High School Musical?" Felix asks, and the table quickly drowns in animated conversation.

Jeongin eats his ice cream in silence, content with simply hearing his friends talking amongst each other. Hyunjin gets too into whatever they're discussing every now and then, squirming around on Jeongin's lap. Jeongin unconsciously flies a hand up to Hyunjin's hip to keep him in place each time, because the sudden movement makes it feel like the boy will slip directly onto the floor with the force of his enthusiasm. 

He doesn't realize it until he makes eye contact with Seungmin, who looks down at the position of his hand and raises an eyebrow. Jeongin pulls it away with a blush, thankful that Hyunjin's back is hiding him from the rest. Changbin catches onto the small gesture, too, and since he knows about  _ the dream _ his smirk is a hundred times more unbearable. 

(Seungmin and Changbin notice the other noticing, as well. They have a silent conversation that Jeongin probably would've found funny if he weren't the main topic. 

Seungmin widens his eyes momentarily, looks between Changbin and Jeongin.  _ Do you know? _

Changbin nods, points his chin at Seungmin.  _ Yeah, I know. Do you? _

Seungmin nods, rolls his eyes.  _ Unfortunately. _

Jeongin scowls at them.  _ I hate both of you.) _

.

Their ice creams are gone pretty fast, but Chan decides to order a second time, which means they linger in their makeshift 8-people table (three small tables pushed together to form a big one) for almost forty minutes more. There's rarely a moment of silence, everyone participating in one or two conversations at once, and the Mrs. Darbus doppelganger actually tells them to lower their volume when they get too heated over mint chocolate and whether it is delicious or if its production should be stopped for eternity. 

20 minutes with Hyunjin sitting on his lap are fine, and he can deal with 30, but when it starts getting close to the hour Jeongin's legs begin to hurt a little. He tries to shift, change the position, but the pain stops for two minutes tops and then comes back in the form of sharp, annoying needles poking at his tired muscles.

"Hyunnie, my legs are going numb," He says with a grunt, "Can you stand up for a bit?" 

Hyunjin turns his head around, eyes wide. He stares at Jeongin, mouth parted slightly and with his cute, round teeth making an appearance. Jeongin doesn't notice the pink shade coating his cheeks, as he doesn't notice the way the conversation around the table has died down significantly.

Jeongin tilts his head, "Please, I can't feel them. Can we switch?"

Hyunjin nods. He stands up without a word, giving Jeongin a moment to do the same. His legs fail him for a second, and he trips over his own feet, luckily regaining balance just in time. Hyunjin sits on the chair, and Jeongin doesn't let his nerves stop him from letting himself fall down on the older's lap— the aching on his legs is stronger than whatever feeling Hyunjin's hands on his lower back may evoke. 

"Sorry," Jeongin sighs in relief, stretching his legs, "They were starting to cramp."

"It's fine," Hyunjin says. His voice cracks nearing the end, so he clears his throat, "It's fine."

("Wow," Minho whispers. He blinks in quick succession, in a typical Minho manner, "Wow."

Changbin shushes him, "Don't say anything."

"Wow.")

**AUGUST 6TH 2021**

**Minho**

_ Are u at home rn _

**Jeongin**

_ Yeah _

_ Why? _

**Minho**

_ I'm coming over  _

_ I need to talk to u _

**Jeongin**

_?  _

**Minho**

_ Nothing bad promise  _

**Jeongin**

_ Should i tell Hyunjin to leave  _

**Minho**

_ Ur boyfriend can stay _

**Jeongin**

_ Not my boyfriend _

**Minho**

_ I don't have time for this _

_ I'll be there in 10 _

**Jeongin**

_ Ok _

_ Door's unlocked _

_ We're in my room _

.

Jeongin and Hyunjin are halfway through their third conspiracy video on YouTube when Minho finally shows up. Jeongin pushes his upper body up and gets into a comfortable sitting position, while Hyunjin only turns his head toward the door and watches Minho from where he's lying down on Jeongin's bed, video still running. 

"What happened? What's so urgent?" Jeongin asks as Minho breathes agitatedly. Hair sticking to his forehead with sweat, face red with effort— he'd probably ran all the way there. 

"I'm gonna marry Chan," Minho says after a deep breath. 

Jeongin blinks, "Okay? I know that already."

"No, like. I'm actually going to. I want to propose."

Jeongin chokes on air before can open his mouth to say something. Hyunjin beats him to it, though. He sits up so quickly all Jeongin sees is a blur of dark black hair flying past his eyes, and then he hears an excited shout.

"Really!?"

Minho climbs onto the bed, wiggling himself in between them, "Really. Holy shit. Really."

"This is so exciting," Hyunjin says. He hugs Minho's arm and shakes him, "When?"

"I don't know. I decided today."

"Today?" Jeongin speaks up. He's still trying to process the conversation and the thought of  _ marriage _ . It's something that sounds quite scary to him but, at the same time, it's also something that sounds perfect for Minho and his brother. 

Minho nods, "I saw him dancing to fucking  _ Abba _ songs on our living room earlier, holding Soonie in his arms. And he just looked at me and said  _ she's the dancing queen,  _ and I thought— I'm gonna make him my husband. I'm gonna make myself his husband. I'm gonna make both of us husbands, to each other."

Hyunjin giggles, a happy sound travelling around the room that makes Minho calm down, letting out a soft chuckle himself. 

"I just needed to tell somebody, cuz I might've gone crazy otherwise," Minho meets Jeongin's eyes, "You were the first person I thought of." 

Minho's  _ foul _ , announcing his upcoming engagement to Jeongin's brother and making him feel these stupid emotions; telling him he's the first person to know about yet another big— perhaps the biggest of them all— step in their lives. Jeongin blinks and throws his head back, trying to keep the dam behind his eyes from collapsing.

"I'm happy for you, Minho. Chan, too," Hyunjin says. Jeongin feels the mattress moving and looks his way to see the older has stood up. He's smiling down at Minho, those sparkling specks of kindness Jeongin loves so much painting his eyes, "And I'm sure everything's gonna go great, whenever and however you choose to do it. I think maybe this is a…. Personal conversation that you and Jeongin should have in private. I don't wanna intrude."

Minho shakes his head, "I really don't mind if you stay."

"I know. But I do. And I don't wanna be here when both of you inevitably start sobbing," Hyunjin jokes. He grabs his keys from Jeongin's nightstand and quickly slides his feet into his shoes. Hyunjin bends down to press a kiss to Jeongin's cheek, "I'll talk to you later," He squeezes Minho's shoulder, "Bye, Minho."

"Bye, Hyunjin."

Jeongin and Minho follow Hyunjin with their eyes until he closes the door and they're all alone. The silence lets them hear him leave out the front door, as well. Minho pushes himself up, sitting crossed legged and facing Jeongin. 

"You really decided today?" Jeongin is the first one to open his mouth. 

"I've been thinking about it for a while," Minho answers, pinching Jeongin's blankets with his fingers absentmindedly, "Today was just… the trigger."

"Is this…." Jeongin purses his lips, "Is this what you meant when you said you were working on being my— my brother?"

Minho snorts softly, bashful. He runs a hand through his hair, "I know our age gap isn't that big, but…. When I met you you were just a little kid. All of these years… you've been the closest thing to a little brother I've ever had. A brother, full stop," Minho rolls his eyes at himself, "You know I'm an only child."

Jeongin feels the tears accumulating behind his closed eyelids. He lets his head fall down, forehead resting against his knees, and takes a deep breath. Minho puts a hand between his shoulder blades.

"Marrying Chan means I get to spend the rest of my days with the love of my life by my side," Minho says. Jeongin doesn't need to look at him to see the smile on his face, because even his voice overflows with love for Chan, "And it also means I can officially be part of the Bang family."

Jeongin sniffs, "That's stupid." 

Minho's hand, which was rubbing his back, stills. Jeongin lifts his head to meet his eyes. They're red and watery, just like his own. 

"You're already a brother to me. You know that, right? All this time, you've been part of my family. And Chan's. And Mom and Dad's," Minho closes his eyes shut, and this time Jeongin is the one to put a comforting hand on him. Jeongin blinks, and the tears cascade down his cheeks, "When you and Chan moved into your apartment together, Mom still put two plates for you at our dinner table, every night, for almost a month. You know what she used to say?"

Even with his eyes closed, the stubborn tears find a way out, wetting Minho's face. He groans, "I don't. But I know it's gonna make me cry even more, so maybe don't say it."

" _ I'm missing two sons.  _ That's what she used to say."

"Fuck you," Minho sobs. 

He doesn't give Jeongin a chance to reject him, just wraps his arms around him and pulls him into a hug. Jeongin hugs back just as strongly, and they both soak the other's shirt once they let the tears spill freely. 

"Hyunjin was right," Jeongin says.

Minho's laugh mixes with another sob, "Yeah, he was. Here we are, crying like little kids."

"It's your fault."

"You just gave me a speech about being family, are you kidding me?" Minho pulls away, running the pads of his fingers over his cheeks to dry them, "Which, by the way— Do you think you can write it down? It's wallet material."

Jeongin pushes him, and Minho lets his back hit the mattress with a giggle. They fill the room with the sound of their sniffles, allowing themselves a moment of silence to even out their emotions. Jeongin lies down next to Minho once his eyes are completely dry and the only sign of crying left is his red nose. 

"Well. That was embarrassing," Minho says, "Let's not do that again. Save up for the wedding day."

"Agreed."

"Now," Minho props himself up on one elbow, "Hyunjin."

"What about him?"

"Did you see him give  _ me  _ a kiss on the cheek?"

Jeongin laughs softly, rolling his eyes. He knows Minho's waiting for something more— the usual rebuttal, the insistent denying. Jeongin doesn't feel like doing that, not today. Minho had come with an announcement, so maybe he should announce something of his own, as well.

"I like him," He muses. Plain and simple. 

"I know you do," Minho says. Plain and simple, "I've been telling you this since you met him."

Jeongin sighs, "... You were right."

"I always am," Minho grins smugly, "So— are you guys dating?" 

Jeongin shakes his head, "He likes someone else."

"If he said that to your face I'm gonna have to applaud him," Minho whistles, impressed, "That's some good lying he did there."

"He didn't say it to me, he—"

"Then how did you come to the conclusion that you're not the person he likes?" Minho cuts him off. Jeongin opens his mouth to defend his thought process, but finds that he has nothing to say. It's just… Hyunjin liking him seems impossible— the one thing in his life with no cracks for a chance to slip through. Minho sighs, "I think you're just finding excuses to not do something about this. About your feelings."

"Even if the possibility is there, I can't just tell him, Minho. I don't know if he likes me, it's not certain. It could— It could go horrible."

"Jeongin," Minho sounds exasperated, "do you not see the way that boy looks at you?"

_ I don't _ , Jeongin thinks,  _ I'm always too busy trying to mask the way  _ I  _ look at  _ him. 

**AUGUST 11TH**

Jeongin also buys a cupcake from the bakery and sticks a candle in it for Changbin's birthday, and they eat it together on Changbin's bed much like they'd done on Jeongin's day. There's no tossing around to try and invite a boy to a party, this time, only an episode of Beastars that they watch on Changbin's phone and not moving from bed until their stomachs start to grumble with hunger. 

For lunch, they order from Changbin's favorite food place and eat on the couch while playing a video game on their shared console. They get the joysticks greasy and maybe spill a bit of sauce on the floor in the process, but they have enough fun in the moment to not care about it at all. Jeongin kicks Changbin's ass in Mortal Kombat using Mileena, performing the same move on him until Changbin's Sub-Zero dies, and then lets him win when the older points out that  _ it's his birthday _ and  _ he should have privileges.  _

Changbin takes the afternoon to pick up calls from his relatives, strolling around the apartment and talking to his numerous aunts and uncles and cousins while doing so. He gets the most excited when he sees his sister's face on the screen, and pulls Jeongin into a hug so he can say hello, too. Changbin's sister tells him that he's old now, an  _ ahjussi _ , and Changbin replies with his middle finger up. She yells:  _ Changbin! How dare you!  _ and Changbin recoils with a plethora of  _ sorry _ s as if she could smack him through the phone. 

.

The first thing Jeongin notices is that the club isn't nearly as full as it was on New Year's Eve. There's a lot more empty tables and far less drunken grinding going on on the dancefloor, where only around 20 people are currently swaying with the music. Changbin leads all of them around the place until he finds a booth to his liking, and the eight of them surprisingly manage to fit on the seats. 

(Hyunjin is pressed against Jeongin's left side, wearing eyeshadow and eyeliner. He looks breathtaking— he always does, but the make-up accentuates his beautiful features in a way that makes Jeongin gulp almost every time he steals a glance. Have Hyunjin's eyelashes always been this long?)

"To celebrate  _ me, _ " Changbin says loudly, pulling him out of his thoughts, "I think I shouldn't pay a thing."

"I'm not gonna pay for you," Jisung states almost immediately.

"Yeah, me neither," Jeongin follows. 

The table drowns in a chorus of agreement, and Changbin slumps on the back of the seat with a scoff, "It's my literal birthday. You guys are so mean. But— whatever," He lifts an arm up to wrap it around Felix, who's sitting right to his left, "Felix will pay for me, because he's a good friend. Right, Felix?" 

Felix nods, and Jeongin doesn't miss the way he melts into Changbin's embrace, "I don't mind."

Changbin scrunches his nose, looks at Felix for a good minute, and then exhales grumpily, "I can't take money from Felix, he's too good for this world. Someone else do it, please."

"You can't take money from him because you think he's cute," Jeongin says.

"And?" Felix blushes under the fire of Changbin's indirect admittance, and Changbin smirks, "Shut up. I know things about you," He then points at the rest of the table, "I'm gonna make your birthdays miserable when they come. I'm gonna give Minho a lifetime supply of dog food and Hyunjin a bag full of eggplants."

Chan rolls his eyes, "I can pay for your drinks."

"And for Chan's birthday I'm gonna put his face on a billboard ad. Thank you. I love you."

.

As soon as Hyunjin gets his glass full, the teasing commences.  _ Don't get too drunk this time! We don't want a repeat of New Year's Eve! Ask one of us to walk you to the bathroom if you need to!  _ Hyunjin rolls his eyes at every jab, and doesn't seem too bothered by them. It's hypocritical of Jisung to speak, when he's way ahead of the rest of them and will probably be the drunkest by the time the night is over, but he takes the opportunity nevertheless.  _ Is your phone charged? Seungmin, don't take your eyes off of him.  _

Early into their second round of drinks, Chan speaks up, "Should we get some snacks, as well? I don't think it's good for us to drink on an empty stomach."

"Oh! Oh!" Changbin leans forward, elbows on the table, and talks loudly so as to reach Jeongin's ears, who's sitting on the opposite end, "Why don't you go to the bar? See if that girl from New Years Eve is working tonight, too?"

Jeongin shakes his head disapprovingly, "I'm not gonna go bother people when they're doing their job."

"What girl?" Hyunjin asks, brows furrowed.

"When we came here that one time, Jeongin went up to the bar to get a refill and came back with a free bowl of chips," Changbin tells the table, who've all turned their heads curiously to listen to the story. Jeongin takes another sip of his drink, looking toward the dancefloor instead, "He was talking about how the girl behind the counter was  _ kind enough to give him this for the sake of being nice _ and I had to break it to him: she was flirting, for the sake of wanting to get in his pants."

Minho laughs, "Ha! Sounds like Jeongin."

"I still don't think she was flirting," Jeongin mumbles. 

"Poor girl," Jisungs says, "Went for the most oblivious guy in the entire place."

"Shut up," Jeongin says. He stands up, patting the pockets of his jeans to make sure his wallet is in place. He doesn't feel like sitting through the round of  _ let's talk about the moments in Jeongin's life where he failed to realize someone was flirting  _ that he knows is sure to come, "I'm gonna go get us snacks and pay for them, like a normal customer."

"Who knows. If she's there, you might get them without cost again," Changbin shrugs, then wiggles his eyebrows, "And maybe something more!"

Hyunjin suddenly slides out of the booth, too, "I'll go with you." 

Jeongin nods, and they both leave the table behind, not before Jeongin manages to catch Seungmin and Changbin fist bumping and Minho snickering. He rolls his eyes. The dance floor has filled considerably since he'd last checked it a bit over an hour ago, and though there's small spaces in between bodies to slip through, he still has to give the occasional soft elbow to the ribs. 

Hyunjin clings to his hand after the first accidental push they receive, intertwining their fingers and holding tight.

"So we don't lose each other in the crowd," Hyunjin says, and Jeongin nods silently once again, hoping his palms won't sweat too much or, if they do, that Hyunjin won't notice. 

They make it to the bar successfully, together and in one piece. Hyunjin doesn't let go of his hand, and Jeongin allows himself to relish the gesture for a moment longer, not pulling away either. 

They wait by the stools for a bit, hand in hand, since the employees seem to be preoccupied with other customers. Jeongin is surprised to see that the one that becomes available first is, in fact, the girl from New Year's Eve.  _ Does Changbin have some kind of birthday powers, or something? _ She approaches them with a smile, and Jeongin doesn't miss the way she checks him out this time. 

"Hey! You were here for New Year's, weren't you? It's nice to see you again."

"Yeah, that's me," Jeongin smiles back nervously, totally awkward. He hadn't expected her to remember him, least of all actually mention it, "Nice to see you, too. I just, uh, came for snacks?"

"Sure," She points behind her at the different snack options written on the letterboard, "We have chips, nachos, chips  _ and  _ nachos, onion rings… Did you already have your order in mind?"

"Uh…"

"We'll think about it and tell you in a minute," Hyunjin says, "If that's okay!"

"Of course. I'll be over here, so call me if you need me," She leaves to tend to other customers in the meantime, sending a wink their (Jeongin's) way.

Hyunjin turns to whisper-shout at him when he's sure she's not within hearing distance, "Jesus. You really didn't think she was flirting with you?"

"Well, I see it  _ now, _ " Jeongin says defensively. 

Hyunjin laughs, letting go of Jeongin's hand for a second. Jeongin doesn't have time to feel any sort of disappointment, since the older steps behind him almost immediately after and wraps his arms around his neck instead. 

"Hopeless," Hyunjin sighs dramatically, making Jeongin smile, "What should we order, then?"

They eventually decide on a big bowl of chips and nachos and a smaller sized one for onion rings, knowing that they could probably eat triple the order if they wanted to, but ultimately deciding that they can just make the others pay for more if they still feel hungry after. 

They call the girl over once they're sure and, as Jeongin lists their choice, Hyunjin slides his arms down to circle Jeongin's waist instead, chin resting on his shoulder, nose nuzzling Jeongin's neck. He can feel a shiver running up his spine, and hopes that Hyujin doesn't feel it too despite being so close. 

Hyunjin's touchy, but never this much, and it makes Jeongin frown momentarily. 

The girl behind the counter takes one look at them and then nods to herself, like she's understanding something for the first time. She tones down the obviously flirtatious remarks and instead steals glances in Hyunjin direction as she waits for one of the employees inside the kitchen to fetch their order. 

She sets the two bowls down gently in front of them, adding some sauce packages on the side and a couple toothpicks. Jeongin starts to reach for his wallet, but she shakes her head.

"On the house," She says, smiling kindly. She turns to look at Hyunjin one more time as she begins to wipe the counter clean of crumbs and left-behind bottle caps, "Sorry, man. I didn't know."

_ What does that mean? _ Jeongin can feel him tensing, bodies still pressed together, right before Hyunjin detaches himself completely, off of Jeongin in a second— like he'd been burned. He reaches for the bowl with onion rings silently, and Jeongin manages to catch sight of his pink ears and reddening cheeks.  _ How much had he drank?  _ Jeongin doesn't remember him refilling his glass more than twice. 

"Thank you," Jeongin says, nodding at her before taking the larger bowl in his hands and pivoting to start walking back to the table, just then noticing that Hyunjin has already mixed with the growing dancing crowd, "Hyunjin? Hey!"

Jeongin tries to speed up as much as the chips and nachos let him, careful so as to not get knocked over. Hyunjin's long legs take him far, disappearing from the younger's sight for a moment. When he too emerges from the dancefloor, their table now in his line of vision, he sees that Hyunjin has taken a new seat next to Seungmin. 

It startles him, making him stop a few feet away to blink in confusion. There may be some simple explanation for it, it might not be that serious, yet Jeongin can't help but feel a bit hurt. Had it been on purpose? And if it was— Had he done something to provoke it? __

"I lost you there for a second," Jeongin muses, eyes on Hyunjin as he lowers the last snack bowl on their table and places it next to the smaller one. He pouts, hoping some cute charms will make Hyunjin smile like usual, even if it's hell for Jeongin himself, "You didn't wait for me."

Hyunjin, like never before, avoids looking at him in the eyes, "Sorry." 

He sounds… embarrassed. Jeongin doesn't understand the sudden shift in mood, but he knows not to question it at a table with all of their friends present. Jeongin goes back to his own spot, picking a chip and munching on it as the rest dives into another conversation he hasn't been following. 

Changbin meets his eyes after a while, concern written all over his face. He subtly tilts his head to point at Hyunjin, mouthing the words:  _ everything okay?  _

Jeongin doesn't try to hide his shrug.  _ I don't know _ . 

.

Hyunjin's acting weird. 

He deliberately refuses to look at Jeongin. Jeongin tries to make their eyes meet more than a dozen times throughout the night, but Hyunjin, in return, tries his absolute best to always keep his gaze fixed somewhere else. On the occasions where Jeongin does get close enough to his goal, Hyunjin quickly lets his head fall down. Although the pink on his cheeks has subsided, his ears stay painted a bright red. 

At some point, Jeongin catches Changbin and Seungmin having another one of their silent conversations, already aware of the strange atmosphere that has been surrounding Hyunjin and Jeongin since they came back from the bar. Wide eyes, sudden head tilts, words mouthed in the air. 

Eventually, Seungmin purses his lips and turns to whisper something in Hyunjin's ear, and Hyunjin tugs him away from the table right after with a curt  _ we'll be back _ . Jeongin tries to follow them with his eyes, worried, but he loses them pretty quickly in the rumpus and ruckus of the club. 

After a couple minutes, Seungmin comes back to the table alone.

"Where's Hyunjin?" Jeongin asks him, eyebrows knitted together. The music has gotten louder, so he has to really lean forward to hear and be heard.

"In the bathroom," Seungmin tells him.

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry," Seungmin smiles, "I think you should go talk to him."

Jeongin blinks, "Is that a good idea, right now? He wasn't... maybe he needs space."

Seungmin shrugs, and that's the only answer Jeongin gets from him. Jeongin sighs. He knows what he's going to do without even having to think about it.

.

It's a nice change to walk into that same bathroom after all these months and find Hyunjin steady on his own two feet, wetting a piece of toilet paper and rubbing it on the back of his hand. Jeongin walks up to him slowly, not wanting to startle him, but Hyunjin hears his footsteps nonetheless. He looks up, caught off guard, and makes eye contact with Jeongin briefly before turning his head back to the mirror.

"Hey," Jeongin says, standing a few feet away with his arms crossed over his chest, feeling beyond awkward, "What are you doing?"

Hyunjin shows him his little pocket eyeshadow palette and his eyeliner, "Checking my make-up. Sometimes I smudge it without noticing."

Jeongin nods, falling silent. Hyunjin's movements while applying the products on his face are as elegant as those of his dancing. He's in full control and knows what he's doing, reinforcing the colors and the strong black lines running along his eyelids. Jeongin takes a few steps closer, pushing himself up to sit in the space between the sink Hyunjin's using and the next; his back against the mirror. Hyunjin's eyes drift to his face shortly, and he accidentally presses the tip of the eyeliner on his forehead, creating an out-of-place black dot. 

"Oops," Hyunjin says, blinking at his reflection. 

Jeongin lets out a chuckle, and finds himself relaxing when Hyunjin laughs softly as well, reaching for another piece of toilet paper to clean the small mistake off. Jeongin still wants to know what had caused the tension between them back at the bar, but he doesn't want to dive into it just yet. 

"You distracted me," Hyunjin scolds him jokingly.

"Sorry." 

Jeongin watches him lean forward again, angling his face so he can get a better look at what he's doing. His lips are parted in concentration, one hand holding the eyeliner and the other holding back his hair so it won't get in the way. Jeongin remembers New Year's Eve and how he'd helped him tie it up, and almost unconsciously stretches a hand towards him and sets it on the strand of hair the older is trying to keep in place. Hyunjin freezes, looking at the image in the mirror, and then slowly lowers his hand so Jeongin can be the one doing the job, going back to the eyeliner. 

"You look pretty tonight," Jeongin says, because being near Hyunjin destroys every last bit of common sense he may still have left. He turns his head a bit, facing the mirror, and meets Hyunjin's eyes through their reflections. 

"Thank you," Hyunjin whispers, the corners of his lips pulling themselves up in a smile, "You look pretty yourself."

Jeongin scrunches his nose in disagreement, and Hyunjin pokes the hand Jeongin isn't using with the eyeliner three times, staining his skin. 

"Hey!"

"Take the compliment," Hyunjin squints his eyes at him threateningly before focusing back on his makeup. He adds the last finishing touches and smiles, pleased. 

"Do you think you can do my eyeliner?" Jeongin asks, observing the wings on Hyunjin's eyes with interest, "It looks cool."

"Really?" Hyunjin looks like a kid on Christmas day who's received all of the gifts on his list, "Yeah, of course!"

Jeongin chortles fondly, "Alright. Where do you want me? Or is this place okay?"

"You're fine," Hyunjin assures him, uncapping the eyeliner again and cleaning the excess off carefully, "Just, uh…." He stands in front of Jeongin and gently nudges his legs with his hip, "Open these."

Jeongin does as told, allowing Hyunjin to come even closer. He really hadn't thought this one through, in his rush to have some more time with Hyunjin without the awkward bubble that had encapsulated them back at the table. Jeongin rubs his sweaty palms on his jeans.

"Close your eyes," Hyunjin instructs. Jeongin obliges, feeling his heartbeat pick up considerably when Hyunjin holds Jeongin's face in place with his fingers, "Otherwise, if you leave this bathroom with one less eye it's not gonna be my fault," Jeongin laughs, and Hyunjin tsks, "No moving, either."

"Don't make me laugh, then."

"I can't help that I'm hilarious."

Jeongin twitches slightly when Hyunjin first presses the eyeliner on his eyelid, the liquid feeling shockingly cold. Hyunjin pulls away instantly, giving him a moment, and giggles when Jeongin apologizes. Jeongin's pretty sure his eye keeps moving even when he tells it not to, but Hyunjin doesn't seem to be having much trouble, sliding the tip along his skin skillfully. 

"Are you okay?" Jeongin asks softly, putting a lot of effort into moving his facial muscles as little as possible.

Hyunjin's hand stops for a moment, a near imperceptible gesture, though he goes back to the task almost immediately after, "Yeah… why?" 

"You were acting weird, back at the bar. And at the table," Jeongin says, "... You changed seats. Did— Did I do something?"

He hears Hyunjin sigh, and allows himself to peek with one eye despite Hyunjin's instructions. Hyunjin sinks the tip of the eyeliner back in the liquid, then pulls it out.

He taps Jeongin's cheek lightly with his index finger, "Eyes closed," Jeongin lets his open eye fall shut again, "I'm sorry about that. It's nothing serious, I promise. And you didn't do anything, I'm— I'm just dumb."

Jeongin stops his frown halfway through, remembering he isn't supposed to move his face. Instead, he blindly finds Hyunjin's body and pinches him where his hand lands first. He can hear the sudden gasp that leaves Hyunjin's lips clearly thanks to their proximity. 

"Jeongin!" Hyunjin exclaims, "I almost poked your eye out, are you crazy?"

"Don't say that," Jeongin says, ignoring him, "You're not dumb for feeling a particular way, whatever the reason may be." 

"I know! I know…" Hyunjin gets his fingers back on Jeongin's face, "God, you're something else. Stop pinching me so we can be done with this faster."

Around three minutes later, Hyunjin closes the eyeliner completely. Jeongin hears the  _ click _ and automatically opens his eyes, Hyunjin's face still unbelievably close to his own. He gulps.

"Well. How does it look?" 

Hyunjin grins, "See for yourself."

Jeongin turns to face the mirror once more, twisting his body to get a full look. He had been almost scared to see the end results, but any and all possible expectations he may have had wouldn't have compared to what he sees in front of him, anyway.

"Woah," He whispers, "It looks so nice."

" _ You _ look nice," Hyunjin says, "It's not just the eyeliner doing the job."

Jeongin blushes— he can see the heat pooling on his cheeks in his reflection. So embarrassing. He gives his back to the mirror again, so as to avoid looking at his own flustered face.  _ God, Hyunjin is still standing between his legs. Why is he still standing between his legs? _

"Thank you," Jeongin smiles, eyes meeting Hyunjin's. It's nice to not have him pull away from his gaze this time. 

"It's nothing," Hyunjin shrugs. 

Jeongin has good self-control most of the time, but it starts to weaken significantly the less space there's between him and Hyunjin— which is why, in a sudden lapsus, he finds himself staring at Hyunjin's lips and licking his own. 

When he comes back to his senses, Jeongin turns his head to the side, his entire body burning. Fuck. 

"Jeongie," Hyunjin's fingers are on his face again, gently guiding him back in Hyunjin's direction. Jeongin takes a deep breath, "I—"

"What's taking you guys so long? Oh."

Jisung's loud voice is like a hammer breaking glass, startling them both. Hyunjin separates himself from Jeongin, quickly collecting his make-up supplies and stuffing them back inside his pockets, while the younger can't do much but climb off the counter under Jisung's wide eyes. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't—" Jisungs begins.

Hyunjin shakes his head, "We were about to go back to the table."

"I'm just— I'm gonna go."

The sound of club life going on outside intensifies the moment Jisung opens the door, and it turns into a lull murmur when it closes after him. The bathroom is suddenly bathed in silence, and Jeongin feels like they're back to square one. Hyunjin walks past him without looking, like they're strangers. Jeongin stops him with a hand on his wrist.

"What were you going to say?" He asks.

Hyunjin offers him a small smile, "Just that I accidentally put a dot on your forehead, too," He lifts his hand up and rubs the pad of his thumb against Jeongin's forehead once, twice, "There. Let's go back with the guys."

Jeongin bites his lower lip. Before Hyunjin can fully pull away from his grasp, he boldly slots their hands together. Hyunjin blinks down at their intertwined fingers, confused.

"So we don't lose each other in the crowd," Jeongin says. 

"You're right," Hyunjin chuckles fondly, "Don't wanna lose you."

This is why Jeongin can't tell him, why he has to keep looking away even when all he wants is _ to look at him _ ; why he couldn't seal their lips in a kiss before Jisungs burst into the bathroom, even though he dreams of it. 

_ I don't wanna lose you, either.  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this fic, seriously ~ its been all ive been working on for months and im happy i get to share it with you. kudos and comments are appreciated, as always!

**Author's Note:**

> as always, feedback and comments are appreciated and such good motivation to continue writing. so, please! even if it's just a keyboard smash, leave a comment if you'd like ~~


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